


Of Nine Lives

by JustTheBestAround



Series: The Eternal Companion [1]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, I just wanted to type that, Meddling TARDIS, No more Doctor and Rose romance than in canon, Season/Series 01, This whole thing is so self-indulgent, i guess, season 1 rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:06:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 72,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustTheBestAround/pseuds/JustTheBestAround
Summary: Katelyn Laurin woke up one day to find herself in a world she's about 98% sure is supposed to be fictional. Of course, how she knows that is a mystery, since she can't seem to remember much other than her name, age, and species, if she is even remembering those correctly.The Doctor doesn't seem to trust her, but she has no where else to go, really, so here she is.





	1. The Empty Child

I don’t dream often, and when I do I’m always aware that it’s a dream. That was true even way back then. The easiest way to tell a dream of mine from reality is that a dream just… starts. There’s no setup, I’m just suddenly in a situation, and I “know” the necessary backstory.

  
That’s one of the many reasons that when I opened my eyes, I was very much under the impression that my brain had woven me a particularly vivid dream. I had absolutely no idea how I’d ended up laying on my back and staring up at a weird gray-green sky, but I did have the vague impression that I was on an alien world and that I would be safe.

  
That’s also the reason why I just layed there, waiting for the subconscious that usually controlled dream me to make me stand up and go on an adventure of some form or fashion. When it didn’t, I put effort into what little muscles I had to sit up and take one sweeping look around. Once I had confirmed that I had no fucking clue where I was, I set off with no real goal in mind. You weren’t supposed to have goals in a dream; just let the fiction take you.

  
I rounded a huge statue and nearly fell back down, lost in sudden giggles. It had been a long time since I’d had a dream like this, a dream so solidly rooted in someone else’s fiction. Well, hell, might as well have fun while it lasted. I ran as fast as my feet would take me, snapping my fingers the whole time. Despite just about everything, the doors swung open.

  
I practically teleported to the console with my speed, circling once before stopping in front of the big switch that was always the last thing pulled. “Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” I tried in my best approximation of a London accent and failed horribly. It took me maybe longer than it should have to stop giggling. “TARDIS for short.” I put my hand on the console. “I’m the Doctor.”

  
_No._ a voice said. I spun around, but no other character had yet materialized in my dream.

  
“Hello?” I said in my real voice. It sort of occured to me that I had control over the volume of my voice, which was not something I should have in a dream. When no one answered, I put my hands back on the console. Images of the first nine faces of the Doctor, minus, I noted, the War Doctor, flashed suddenly in my mind’s eye. “Ok.” I giggled. It occured to me that I felt giddy, like what I imagined being really high felt like. I held my hands in the air. “You got me. I’m not the Doctor.” There was humming in my head. I grinned, and looked at column in the middle of console. “Oh, and you would know.” There was a drawn out silence. I pouted.

“You’re no fun.” The giddy feeling faded in an instant, getting replaced with nausea. I slid to my knees and pressed my forehead against the console. “This dream is trash.”

  
Suddenly, I heard the TARDIS door creak open again. “-and wait ‘til you see-” The voice stopped abruptly, almost as abruptly as my nausea. I looked up and toward the door. The ninth Doctor, in all his leather jacket glory, was standing on the TARDIS entrance ramp, hand in hand with Rose Tyler. She was wearing an outfit I didn’t recognize.

  
“Where have you been?” I asked stupidly. The words were out of my mouth before they were really in my brain. I slapped my hands over my mouth.

  
“I’m sorry?” the Doctor asked, looking genuinely confused. “Who are you and how did you get in my TARDIS?”

  
“The doors opened for me,” I blurted.

  
“What?”

  
“I snapped my fingers and the doors opened.” The Doctor let go of Rose’s hand and took a few steps toward me.

  
“I’ll try again. Who are you and how did you get in my TARDIS?”

  
“I’m-” I took a step away from the console and the world went black.

  
<...>

  
The Doctor rushed forward, but the girl hit the ground before he could catch her. He dropped to his knees next to her and felt for a pulse. She was definitely still alive, but her heart rate was much too fast for someone who was sleeping.

  
“Doctor?” Rose walked cautiously toward the two. “What’s going on? Is she ok?"

  
“She’s alive,” he said simply, pulling the sonic from his pocket and scanning the girl quickly. Rose took a few more steps forward.

  
“Is she like you?”

  
“Whad’ya mean?” He was having trouble making sense of what the readinge were saying. They weren't telling him what he wanted to know. How did she get in?

  
“Is she a… Time… Lady?” The Doctor looked up at his companion, trying to hide the look of shock on his face and ignore the ache the idea brought to his hearts.

“No,” he felt her pulse again. “One heart.”

  
<...>

  
My first thought when I woke up again was that I did not want to be conscious, thank you very much. I felt lethargic and heavy, like I’d just had a much needed 8 hours of sleep after a hard day. I shifted slightly, trying to pull my blankets further up my body, only to find I wasn’t under any blankets. That shocked me awake.

  
I tried to sit up, but as my brain started functioning again, every part of me started to hurt. I bit my lip and took a deep breath to avoid shouting at the pain. A wave of relief swept through me like a shot of anesthetic, except for some reason I was very aware that it wasn’t anesthetic. _Thank you,_ I thought, for some reason. Whatever had helped me hummed a response that buzzed around my ribcage before settling it my heart. I decided I really liked that feeling.

  
“Good to see your awake now.” My eyes flew open. Before I could turn to look a the source of the voice, the man was at the side of whatever I was laying on. His face was a scowl, arms crossed, but I couldn’t help the smile on my lips.

  
“Doctor,” I managed. I had the distinct feeling that I should be panicking, but the hum was still sitting in my mind.

  
“Hello.” He smiled for just the word. “Who are you?”

  
“I’m uh..” That was supposed to be an easy question to answer, right? “Katelyn, I think.”

 

“You think?”

  
“It’s all fuzzy, I-” The humming vanished. For the first time since this weird dream started, I was fully aware that I was not dreaming. I choked on my words, and the humming came back. I nearly sobbed in relief. A tear rolled down my cheek.

  
The Doctor looked at the ceiling with a raised eyebrow. I followed his gaze, but he wasn’t really looking at anything.

  
When the Doctor’s ninth face looked back at me, his expression had relaxed. “Alright,” he said, not to me. “Katelyn.” Everything felt almost too real. I could feel panic rising again. This was wrong. This was very wrong. “How did you get on the TARDIS?”

  
“I told you.” My voice came out surprisingly strong. “I saw her, I ran, snapped my fingers, and the doors opened for me.” The Doctor scowled again and started pacing.

  
I looked around the room. There were all kinds of machines, most of which looked completely foreign to me. All had some kind of labeling, but it was written in the swirling circles of Gallifreyan, which didn’t help. “Where am I now?” The Doctor stopped pacing, looked at me as if I’d spoken in tongues, then looked around the room with the same expression.

  
“The TARDIS medbay.”

  
“Excellent. Am I dying?” I made my face a mask of curiosity. The Doctor actually laughed, which made me feel better. I smiled then.

  
“No. I brought you here to run some tests. I needed to know what you are.”

  
“What I am? You could have asked.” I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the medical bed I was laying on, all pain gone.

  
“No, I couldn’t. You were unconscious,” he countered.

  
“Fair, but I’m awake now.” The Doctor smiled one of those full face smiles that only Nine could really do.

  
“Good point.” The Doctor walked back over and leaned against the wall next to me. “What are you then?”

  
“Aggressively average human, last I checked.” The Doctor snorted. “18 years old, Born in 2000 AD, Earth time, Michigan, USA-”

  
“Although,” The Doctor prompted. Did he already know?

  
“I’m uh, it… I-it” The humming curled around me. He’ll believe you I got the feeling it was trying to say. “I’mfromanalternateuniversewhereyourlifeisfiction.” I rushed the words out so fast I wasn't sure he’d be able to understand me. As soon as the words left my lips, I felt the giddiness come back, and I giggled again. The Doctor gave me a look that said ‘you are completely mad’.

  
“Ok. Prove it.” My mind raced trying to break through the giddiness.

  
“You believe me?”

 

“I did say to prove it.”

  
“Right.” It was much easier to talk when I was looking at the ground, so I did. “We’re in a type-40 TARDIS that you stole… lord, just ages ago.” I choked out, the feeling fading again. “It’s bigger on the inside and can travel through time and space. On the outside this TARDIS looks like a police box from London in the 1960s because you landed there once and the chameleon circuit broke. You could fix it, but you’re really fond of the blue box look.” The Doctor said nothing, just stared at me, so I kept going. “You’re a Time Lord from the plane-” I don’t know why I stopped myself, but I had a feeling saying the word “Gallifrey” would be a bad idea.

  
“You’re…” I trailed off because the Doctor was still looking at me with skepticism. I took a deep breath. “Rose Tyler. The woman who was with you when you walked in is named Rose Tyler. You meet her in the basement of a department store called Henrik’s, which you then blew up. You took her hand and said ‘run’. No one else was down there with you. ”

  
The Doctor’s expression shifted, but it was still unreadable. “Ok, say I believe you. How much of my life?” I swallowed, too hard for it to be an innocent gesture. I’d seen series 1 through 10, so much of his personal future. I was suddenly, sickeningly aware of how dangerous I could be, if someone could get into me mind. I was also aware that I felt sick again.

  
“Technically, it started when you stole the TARDIS, but I never saw those… episodes.” The word felt like poison on my tongue. “I only… watched…” That word wasn’t much better. “From when you met Rose to…” The Doctor let the silence hang for a minute.

 

“To?”

  
“Spoilers,” I whispered. I didn’t miss the flash of fear that crossed his face, nor did I miss how my stomach dropped at the sight. The humming came back in force, and I felt a wave of comfort and pride flow through me. “What is that?” I asked before I could think to stop.

  
“What is what?” the Doctor asked plainly. I closed my eyes and tried to listen harder, but the humming stayed in the back of my mind.

  
“That humming? It’s making me feel things.” I opened my eyes and frowned. “That was a poorly worded sentence.” The Doctor gave me another unreadable look, then pushed off the wall and started to leave the room.

  
“There’s a galley, if you’re hungry. A library, if you get bored, but first-” The Doctor spun back around, never stopping in his walking. “You should probably get out of your jimjams.”

  
“Well, where the-” He was gone before I could really ask. “-hell is the wardrobe.” I jumped off the bed and took two steps before stopping dead in my tracks. “I am an idiot,” I whispered, and pressed my hand against the wall. The TARDIS took a second to agree that I was an idiot, before showing me the path to the wardrobe.

  
I had just opened the door when the ground was suddenly not under my feet. I slammed into the wall, hard. It took me a second to catch my breath around the pain. “What?” My vision went a light purple color that I would have called Lilac except- “Mauve!” I cried in delight. “Of all the places on his timeline to land!”

  
<...>

  
“What’s the emergency?” Rose asked.

  
“It’s mauve.” The Doctor rushed to tap at the console. He really did not need this emergency right now.

  
“Mauve?” Rose asked, affronted. She only made it a few steps around the console before the TARDIS shook and knocked her almost off her feet. The Doctor’s flying was never smooth, but this was something else.

  
“The universally recognized colour for danger.” The Doctor was still typing frantically.

 

“What happened to red?”

  
“That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings. All those red alerts, all that dancing. It's got a very basic flight computer. I've hacked in, slaved the TARDIS. Where it goes, we go,” the Doctor explained, pointing to the thing on the scanner.

  
“And that's safe, is it?” Rose asked in a tone that said she already knew the answer was no.

  
“Totally.” The Doctor threw a switch and the whole console sparked. “Okay, reasonably. Should have said reasonably there.” The scanner beeped, and the two watched the something slip into the Vortex. “No, no, no, no! It's jumping time tracks, getting away from us.”

  
“What exactly is this thing?”

  
“No idea.”

  
“Then why are we chasing it?”

  
“It's mauve and dangerous.” The Doctor turned his head to make eye contact with Rose. “and about thirty seconds from the centre of London.”

  
“London when?” The Doctor and Rose looked over to see the newcomer stumbling her way into the console room. She had changed into a button down dress that went a little farther than her knees and a tight fitting wool coat.

  
“Shouldn’t you already know?” the Doctor countered.

  
“What?” Rose asked. “Is that thing her ship?”

  
“Don’t have a ship,” Katelyn said, stumbling her way over to the console.

  
“Then how would you know?” Rose asked. The Doctor didn’t really know what to say to that. How could he explain to Rose that this woman was the product of a different reality and knew secrets about their lives that they didn’t even know yet?

  
“Bit of hush, please!” is what he finally said.

  
<...>

  
For all the shaking and bumping the TARDIS did while we were chasing the medical transport through the vortex, it landed incredibly smoothly. The Doctor wasted no time in running out into the world, but Rose hesitated.

  
“Who are you then?” she asked, hands on hips.

  
“Name’s Katelyn-” For some reason, the idea of saying my last name out loud burned. “Laurin,” I lied.

  
“I’m Rose Tyler.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” The TARDIS door flew open, and the Doctor leaned in.

  
“You lot just gonna stand there?” Rose was moving in an instant, and I couldn’t stop my smile as I followed. “Do you know how long you can knock around space without happening to bump into Earth?”

  
“Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?” Rose teased. I was relieved my existence didn’t appear to be changing anything too much. I didn’t want to ruin a second of this.

  
“Of all the species in all the Universe and it has to come out of a cow,” the Doctor mused. He and Rose looked around for a bit before walking away from the TARDIS. I followed, resisting the urge to look up and behind me. _He_ was there, I knew. This was my favorite two parter after all.

  
“Must have come down somewhere quite close.” The Doctor started again. “Within a mile, anyway. And it can't have been more than a few weeks ago. Maybe a month.”

  
“A month?” Rose complained. “We were right behind it.”

  
“It’s a time-ship,” I blurted before I could stop myself. “‘Right behind’ is relative.” The Doctor gave me his ‘I was about to talk’ look. “Sorry,” I whispered, dropping my eyes.

  
“It was jumping time tracks all over the place. We're bound to be a little bit out,” he explained. “Do you want to drive?” My mind flashed me blurry pictures of a woman with very curly hair and the name “Melody”, but every time I tried to concentrate on it, the image slipped away behind a gold wall.

  
“What's the plan, then? Are you going to do a scan for alien tech or something?” Rose asked, hopeful. I shook the almost memory out of my head, and focused back on the present.

  
“Rose, it hit the middle of London with a very loud bang. I'm going to ask.” The Doctor sounded almost annoyed. He held up his psychic paper to Rose.

  
“Doctor John Smith, Ministry of Asteroids,” Rose read, as clear as if it had been written.

  
“It's psychic paper. It tells you-”

  
“Whatever you want it to tell me, I remember.”

  
“Sorry, maybe I was explaining for the newbie.” The Doctor gestured in my general direction. He had to know I already knew what it was, but I just nodded a thank you.

  
Rose was almost pouting. “Not very Spock, is it, just asking.” We came to a door. The Doctor turned an pressed his ear against it.

  
“Door, music, people. What do you think?”

  
“A nightclub?” I offered. The Doctor almost smiled at me and turned back the door.

  
“I think-” Rose put a lot of effort on the word “I”. “-you should do a scan for alien tech. Give me some Spock, for once. Would it kill you?” She sounded like she was approaching anger. The Doctor flat-out ignored her tone and went to work on the lock.

  
“Are you sure about that t-shirt?” he asked.

  
“Too early to say. I'm taking it out for a spin.” Rose either was completely placated by the comment, or knew there was no more point in arguing.

  
_Alone._ I felt a shiver go down my spine. He was staring at us, I could feel it.

  
“Mummy? Mummy?” echoed through the alleyway. I forced my attention to the door. Afraid. Why was I so scared? I knew what the child was.

  
“Come on, if you're coming. It won't take a minute.” The Doctor slipped into the building without looking back. I decided to follow him instead of Rose. I had no upper body strength; I would fall right off that barrage balloon if I followed her.

  
I followed the Doctor who followed a waiter through a grungy back hallway and through a beaded curtain. There was a woman standing on a stage, singing a pleasant song, so no one noticed us come in. I took one sweeping look at the people in the room and pulled my coat tighter.

  
“I didn’t think it was possible to feel underdressed in a nightclub,” I mumbled as the singer finished her song. The Doctor clapped politely along with the crowd before walking on stage. I watched from the corner.

  
“Excuse me. Excuse me. Could I have everybody's attention just for a mo? Be very quick.” The guest all focused back on the stage with looks of indulgence. I could feel my fight or flight response trying to kick in already, and I wasn’t even the one doing the public speaking.

  
“Hello! Might seem like a stupid question, but has anything fallen from the sky recently?” The room was silent for a moment, then the guest slowly started to laugh. The Doctor’s smile slid from his face. “Sorry, have I said something funny?” I put a hand over my mouth to avoid joining the laughter. “It's just, there's this thing that I need to find. Would've fallen from the sky a couple of days ago.”

  
An air raid siren sounded. The laughter stopped instantly and people started to shuffle out of the room. “Would've landed quite near here. With a very loud-” The Doctor looked at me and I pointed to a poster on the wall that read Hitler will give no warning. He sighed, his whole posture saying ‘really’.

“Bang?” I offered. The Doctor ran a hand down his face, then looked up in panic.

  
“Rose,” he whispered, than ran out the door back into the alleyway. I ran after him, already very happy that’s I’d forgone period shoes.

  
“Rose?” he called to the empty alley. I was about to say something along the lines of ‘she’s fine’, when a cat meowed. That was apparently enough to distract the last of the Time Lords, as he turned back around and picked the cat up. “You know, one day, just one day, maybe, I'm going to meet someone who gets the whole ‘don't wander off’ thing.”

  
“I’m right here,” I joked. The Doctor looked like he was genuinely surprised I was still there. I could almost feel his mind running a million miles an hour, trying to figure me out. _Welcome to the club, buddy._

  
“So you are.” He paused, and looked like he was about to ask a question when the TARDIS police telephone rang. The Doctor looked at me, once again genuinely shocked, before putting the cat down and walking over. I followed, scratching the cat’s ears as I passed. He opened the small door and stared at the phone.

  
“How can you be ringing? What's that about, ringing?” He turned to me. “What am I supposed to do with a ringing phone?”

  
“Scan it?” I suggested, waving my hand like I was holding the sonic. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver. “Quick question. Why does this feel so… ok? Why am I not having a panic attack right now?”

  
“Shock, most likely.”

  
“Oh, great. Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

  
“Don't answer it,” a voice called. We turned to look at a young woman standing at the other end of the alleyway. Nancy, my brain offered. “It's not for you.” The Doctor looked from the phone to the woman to me. I shrugged.

  
“And how do you know that?” he asked. The memories of this episode, and I really hated using that word now, flooded back. I could tell him, right now. In this moment, I could end this episode within a few minutes. I could take him right to Albion Hospital, tell him right where Rose was, explain that it was nanogenes. But then, could the damage be reversed if Nancy didn’t reveal herself? I decided very quickly that I didn’t want to find out.

  
“Everybody lives,” I whispered, as a reminder.

  
“Hello? This is the Doctor speaking. How may I help you?” I blinked back to what I guess was reality. The Doctor had picked up the phone, and when I looked, Nancy was gone.

  
“Who is this? Who's speaking?” A little boy named Jamie.

  
“Who is this?” He was already dead when the thing landed.

  
“How did you ring here? This isn't a real phone. It's not wired up to anything.” Nancy is his mother, and-

  
“He’s so afraid,” I whispered. The Doctor turned to look at me. I looked at my hands and found they were shaking. “He’s alone and he’s so scared.”

  
The dialing tone sounded from the phone. The Doctor looked away from me, hung up and knocked on the TARDIS door. There was no response. “Where’s Rose?’

  
“She’s safe. She’ll be fine.” The Doctor relaxed a bit.

  
“Who’s scared?” Before I could answer, there was a sound at the end of the alley, and we were running toward it. We came to a wall that I knew immediately I had no hope of seeing over, since the six foot tall Doctor had to stand on a trash can to see over it. I decided to lean against the wall and just listen.

  
“Come on. Arthur! Arthur, Will you hurry up? Didn't you hear the siren?” the wife yelled.

  
“Middle of dinner, every night. Blooming Germans. Don't they eat?” the husband, Arthur I guess, grumbled.

  
“I can hear the planes!”

  
“Don't you eat?”

 

“Oh, keep your voice down, will you? It's an air raid! Get in.”

  
I heard the family argue with a pit in my stomach. In that moment, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my own family. I could feel panic rising. We were too far away; I couldn’t feel the TARDIS in my head, keeping me here.

  
“C’mon, over the wall.” I blinked and looked up to where the Doctor was holding his hand out to me.

  
“Come again?”

  
“We’re going into that house. Come on.” It took a minute to get us both over the wall. If I strained to listen, I could hear Nancy’s double whistle calling the local children to the house. The Doctor and I moved silently through the backyard, pausing as a tiny boy walked into the house, then snuck into the house after him.

  
The Doctor and I watched for a minute, from the kitchen doorway, then we walked into the dining room and sat down, just as Nancy was passing the turkey around the table. No one seemed to notice us come in, as focused as they were on the food.

  
“Thank you, miss.”

  
“Thanks, miss.”

“Thank you, miss.”

  
“Thanks, miss!” The Doctor said, spearing a piece of turkey onto his plate. The children around the table gasped and stood up quickly. The Doctor ignored them, making to take another piece. I slapped his hand out of instinct and tried to pass the plate to the next child. He gave me that ‘excuse you’ look again.

  
“She said one piece. Weren’t you listening?” I said with a bit more sass than I had intended. The Doctor just kept staring at me.

  
“It's all right. Everybody stay where you are!” Nancy called. The children slowly settled back into their seats. I smiled at them, and the boy next to me took the turkey plate out of my hands.

  
“Good here, innit? Who's got the salt?” the Doctor asked.

  
“Back in your seats,” Nancy said to the kids. “They shouldn't be here either.”

  
“No one has drinks,” I mumbled, and made my way to the kitchen. I could feel stares on my back, but I managed to ignore them. In the kitchen, I found a few glasses, and filled them with water from the tap, trying not to worry about the fact that the pipes the water ran through might be lead.

  
“Shut up,” one of the boys said when I came back in and started setting glasses down. “It's better on the streets anyway. It's better food.”

  
“Yeah. Nancy always gets the best food for us,” another boy said. The Doctor smiled a tiny smile.

  
“So, that's what you do, is it, Nancy?” he asked, respect buried deep in his tone.  
“What is?” She wouldn’t meet his eyes. _Afraid._ I stiffened.

  
“As soon as the sirens go, you find a big fat family meal still warm on the table with everyone down in the air raid shelter and bingo!” The Doctor was almost beaming now. “Feeding frenzy for the homeless kids of London Town. Puddings for all, as long as the bombs don't get you.”

  
“Something wrong with that?” Nancy said with the self-righteous tone only a mother could pull off.

  
“Wrong with it? It's brilliant. I'm not sure if it's Marxism in action or a West End musical," the Doctor contemplated.

  
“Both, I think,” I said. I set down the last glass and went back to the kitchen to try and find more. Only half the kids had drinks.

  
“Great, thanks," the Doctor said when I came back with a few teacups with water. I leaned against the nearest wall, watching the children fondly. “And I want to find a blonde in a Union Jack. I mean a specific one. I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving.” I snorted. The Doctor gave me a scathing look and I decided not to tease. “Anybody seen a girl like that?”

Nancy tossed her silverware down and turned to look at me. “You want anything before you leave?” I stood up straight again.

  
“Yeah, actually.” I walked over and stood behind the Doctor. “We’re looking for something. Not a bomb, but something that fell out of the sky-” I looked at my wrist as if reading a watch that wasn't there. “About a month ago?”

  
“Probably would have just buried itself in the ground somewhere,” the Doctor interrupted scrambling to draw in a small notepad. “And it would have looked something like this.” I almost teased the Doctor about his drawing skills, but the look on Nancy’s face stopped me. It was good enough for her.

  
Without any reason, my stomach dropped, and I started shaking. Very afraid. There was a tapping at the window. I was vaguely aware of people around me talking, but I couldn’t hear them. Afraid. It was an emotional loop in my brain. Afraid of the bombs. It wasn’t my fear, I realized. The Doctor threw the curtains open, and I was almost aware of making a choking sort of gasp. “Empty,” I think I whispered.

  
The curtain fell and Nancy ran from the room. The Doctor bumped me on his way to follow her, which was just enough to jolt me out of my haze. “Up,” I said shakily, still frozen. The children looked at me, and I shook off the rest of the haze. “Up. Get your coats, you need to leave.” Nancy came in the room and said much the same, but I wasn’t listening anymore. I didn’t remember moving, but suddenly I was in the hallway with the Doctor.

  
“Mummy? Mummy?” _Lonely._ “Please let me in, mummy.” A child’s hand came through slot for mail. “Please let me in, mummy.”

  
“Are you alright?” I heard the Doctor ask. It took me a second to realize he wasn’t talking to me. I walked in a daze, reaching for the door.

  
“Please let me in,” the thing that had been Jamie begged. Something that looked like porcelain smashed where my finger had been moving.

  
“You mustn't let him touch you!” Nancy pleaded. _Alone._

  
“What happens if he touches us?” The Doctor asked.

  
“He'll make you like him.” Nancy’s voice shook with barely contained emotion.

  
“And what's he like?” _Left me_.

  
“I've got to go.” _Left me!_

  
“Nancy, what's he like?” the Doctor demanded.

  
“He's empty,” we said at the same time. A phone rang, sparing me from the look of horror I saw half formed on Nancy’s face.

  
“It's him. He can make phones ring. He can.” Just want my mummy. “Just like with that police box you saw.” I reached to pick up the phone, but the Doctor beat me to it.

  
“Are you my mummy?” Nancy slammed the phone down before the Doctor could say anything. The radio turned on, and we all rushed into that room.

  
“Mummy? Please let me in, mummy,” came through the radio. _Alone._

 

“Mummy, mummy, mummy,” came through a wind-up toy. _Afraid._

  
“You stay if you want to.” Nancy’s voice was definitely shaking now, which matched nicely with my shaking hands. I followed the Doctor back out into the hallway, and tried to steady myself by leaning on the stairs. Breathing was suddenly not as easy as it should have been.

  
“Mummy?” The boy put his hand through the letterbox again. Just want my mummy. He was in my head. I watched the Doctor note the scar on the boy’s hand and checked my own. My skin looked really dry, but it wasn’t scared.

  
“Let me in please, mummy. Please let me in,” the empty child pleaded. The Doctor strode toward the door with confidence.

  
“Your mummy isn't here.” The radio shut off.

  
“Are you my mummy?”

  
“No mummies here.” The Doctor looked back at me and raised his eyebrow in question. I shook my head. “Nobody here but us chickens.”

  
“I'm scared.” I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold his hand. I took a few dazed steps forward in a again, but the Doctor was blocking my way to the door.

  
“Why are those other children frightened of you?” he tried.

  
“Please let me in, mummy. I'm scared of the bombs.” The Doctor paused for a long while, considering. He looked behind at me, but I couldn’t stop staring at the little boy’s hand. _So, so alone. Just want my mummy._

  
“Okay. I'm opening the door now.” The hand disappeared, and I felt such a rush of emotion leaving me that I nearly fell over. I looked at my hand again, but there was still no scar. It’s not airborne yet, dummy, a small, rational part of my brain reminded me. The Doctor unbolted and opened the door, but there was no one on the other side. I watched him step out into the night and look up and down the street.

  
When he saw it was empty, he turned back around and looked at me. “Aggressively average human?” he asked. It took me way too long to remember I had said that. I gulped a few deep breaths before speaking.

  
“C-come again?” I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how that applied to the child.

  
The Doctor just stared at me, before apparently deciding I was lower on his list of things to worry about than the child. “We need to find Nancy again.”

  
<...>

  
For not the first time in his long life, the Doctor wished he had more than one brain, because right now he needed three. One to figure out the mystery of this adventure, one to figure out where Rose was, and one to figure out who and what Katelyn was. Even if she believed she was, and it seemed she did, the girl was far from an ‘aggressively average human’. She was clearly tapping into whatever physic energy the child was manipulating, which would be fine, except she didn’t seem to know how to control it. An open mind with the information she had tucked away was very, very dangerous.

  
Although, ‘open’ might exactly be the right word for Katelyn’s lack of control. She couldn’t seem to read the child’s thoughts. The Doctor had only known her for an hour, but he already got the impression Katelyn was smart. If she could read the child’s thoughts, she probably would have realized already what she was doing. She certainly wasn’t projecting any of her own thoughts. The Doctor couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.

  
Emotions seemed to be an issue though. She had obviously felt what the child was projecting, and the sudden loss of it had nearly knocked her out. Maybe-

  
“How'd you follow me here?” he heard the newly familiar Nancy ask. Had they walked that far already?

  
“I'm good at following, me.” The Doctor put the thought of Katelyn from his mind to focus on the task at hand. “Got the nose for it.”

  
“People can't usually follow me if I don't want them to,” Nancy argued.

  
“My nose has special powers,” the Doctor argued back.

  
“Yeah? That's why it's-” Nancy paused and gestured. He heard Katelyn snicker behind him.

  
“What?” he asked, sounding offended.

  
“Nothing.”

  
“What?”

  
“Nothing.” Nancy was smiling slightly. “Do your ears have special powers too?”

  
“What are you trying to say?”

  
“Goodnight, Mister.” Nancy turned away, but the Doctor couldn’t let her leave.

  
“Nancy, there's something chasing you and the other kids. Looks like a boy and it isn't a boy, and it started about a month ago, right?” Nancy turned to face him, but said nothing. “The thing I'm - we’re - looking for, the thing that fell from the sky, that's when it landed. And you know what I'm talking about, don't you?”

  
“There was a bomb. A bomb that wasn't a bomb. Fell the other end of Limehouse Green Station.” Nancy was doing a very good job of keeping all emotion off her face.

  
“Take me there.”

  
“No,” Nancy barely breathed, shaking her head. “There's soldiers guarding it. Barbed wire. You'll never get through.”

  
The Doctor opened his mouth, but Katelyn was first. “All you need are some wire cutters and the right timing.”

  
“You sure you want to know what's going on in there?” He could feel her resolve weakening.

  
“I really want to know,” the Doctor insisted.

  
“Nancy.” Katelyn stepped level with him. “We just want to help.” The Doctor found it hard to be as afraid as he was supposed to be of Katelyn, when she seemed so kind. Her first thought with the kids in the house was to make sure they were hydrated, and now all she was trying to do was make Nancy less scared.

  
It must have worked a little, actually, because Nancy hesitated only a second more. “Then there's someone you need to talk to first.”

  
“And who might that be?” the Doctor asked.

  
“The Doctor.” Nancy turned and started walking. While the Doctor waited, stunned for a moment, Katelyn passed him.

  
“Not you,” she whispered, following Nancy. “Just the only doctor left at Albion Hospital.” The Time Lord shivered and followed.

  
<...>

  
I watched the Doctor scan the area with his binoculars. I took a moment to wonder where he got them before deciding there were a great many things I should be more worried about at the moment. Bigger-on-the-inside pockets or something, probably.

  
“The bomb's under that tarpaulin,” Nancy explained. “They put the fence up over night. See that building?” She gestured behind the fencing. “The hospital.”

  
“What about it?” the Doctor asked, looking up from his binoculars for a moment. Nancy turned an gave me a ‘is he always like this’ look. I nodded and shrugged.

  
“That's where the doctor is.” When neither of us moved, she added, “You should talk to him.”

  
“For now, I'm more interested in getting in there.” The Doctor went back to watching the fenced in not-bomb. I could almost hears the gears in his head turning, trying to figure out how to get in.

  
“Talk to the doctor first,” Nancy insisted.

  
“Maybe we should listen to her?” I argued. The Doctor dropped his binoculars and turned to look at us.

  
“Why?”

  
“Because then maybe you won't want to get inside.” Nancy didn’t bother with any other arguments, turned, and started walking away.

  
“Where're you going?” the Doctor and I asked at the same time. He gave me a look. I mouthed sorry. Nancy paused for a second.

  
“There was a lot of food in that house. I've got mouths to feed."

  
“Be careful,” I warned before I could stop myself. “Th-the raid’s letting up. You wouldn’t want the family to catch you.”

Nancy smiled at me. “Should be safe enough now.” She turned to start walking again.

  
“Can I ask you a question?” The Doctor blurted, still studying the fence. Nancy smiled at the back of his head. “Who did you lose?” Nancy’s smile fell immediately.

  
“What?” She sounded affronted. The Doctor dropped his binoculars and turned around.

  
“The way you look after all those kids. It's because you lost somebody, isn't it? You're doing all this to make up for it.” I wanted to argue, even though I knew he was right, that sometimes people are just kind, but Nancy didn't give me a chance.

  
“My little brother. Jamie.” Why did that statement make my heart hurt? I knew he would be ok. “One night I went out looking for food. Same night that thing fell. I told him not to follow me, I told him it was dangerous, but he just. He just didn't like being on his own.” _Lonely, afraid._

  
“What happened?”

  
“In the middle of an air raid? What do you think happened?” I really wanted to hug Nancy, try and comfort her, but her posture was guarded, so I had a feeling she might not appreciate if I did.

  
The Doctor paused, nodded, than breathed out a sigh. He was looking at the sky. I followed his gaze to where a British flag was framed nearly perfectly against a burning background. It was only then I finally realized I wasn’t wearing, and didn’t have, my glasses. Shit, I’d have to mention that at some point.

  
“Amazing.”

  
“What is?” Nancy asked, lost.

  
“1941.” The Doctor started in a tone that said ‘speech’. “Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it. Nothing. Until one, tiny, damp little island says ‘No. No. Not here.’ A mouse in front of a lion.”

  
“They had some help,” I muttered. The Doctor gave me an ‘excuse me’ look.

  
“Americans,” he scoffed. He turned back to Nancy. “You're amazing, the lot of you. Don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me. Off you go then do what you've got to do. Save the world. Come on.” The Doctor started down the stairs, toward the hospital, and I followed.

  
The gate to the hospital was locked, but locks hadn’t meant jack shit to the Doctor for decades. We walked in, and the creepy, dimly lit, silent hospital should have put me on edge. Instead, we got about four steps in before I chuckled. The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me.

  
“What?” I asked through a grin.

  
“We’re in a mysterious hospital where we might well die in the middle of an air raid during the London Blitz trying to figure out what alien technology crashed in railway station. What could possibly be funny?” The Doctor asked. I chuckled again.

  
“Sorry, it’s just so… I don’t know cliche? I mean, creepy abandoned WW2 hospital? It’s like we just walked into a film student’s horror final,” I tried to explain. The Doctor just shook his head and kept walking, although I was pretty sure I heard him huff an almost laugh.

  
It didn’t take much longer for us to find the first ward completely filled with beds. Every bed had a patient sitting on it. They all looked as bad off as the boy. Physical injury as plague, I remembered someone would say. I shouldn’t have been scared; I knew they were harmless. However, as we walked though ward after ward of them, I started to realize just how dangerous this actually was, and just how sorry I was for all of these people.

  
“There are so many,” I whispered as we entered a huge room with even more beds. A door creaked and the Doctor and I spun around, ready to run.

  
“You'll find them everywhere.” A man in a long white coat explained. “In every bed, in every ward. Hundreds of them.” My heart ached for these people.

  
“Yes, we saw. Why are they still wearing gas masks?” The Doctor asked.

  
“They're not,” the human doctor didn’t explain. “Who are you?”

  
“I'm, er-” the Doctor started

  
“This is John Smith,” I rushed. “I’m Katelyn Laurin. Are you the doctor?”

  
“Doctor Constantine.” He shuffled past not sparing us more than a glance. “If Nancy sent you, that means you must've been asking about the bomb.”

  
“Yes.”

  
“What do you know about it?” Dr. Constantine asked, not stopping.

  
“Nothing. Why we’re was asking. What do you know?” The Doctor and I started to follow Constantine across the room. He stopped walking.

  
“Only what it's done.”

  
“These people, they were all caught up in the blast?” the Doctor guessed. _Alone._

 

“None of them were.” Constantine started chuckling, which quickly turned into coughing. I looked at his hand, but the scar had not appeared yet. The Doctor stepped forward to help, but Constantine held up a hand and sat down.

  
“You're very sick.” It was phrased almost like a question.

  
“Dying, I should think. I just haven't been able to find the time,” Constantine joked. I chuckled; the Doctor smiled and looked away. “Are you a doctor?”

  
“I have my moments,” the Time Lord responded. I shook my head and decided to stay quiet.

  
“Have you examined any of them yet?”

  
“No.”

  
“Don't touch the flesh,” Constantine warned gravely.

  
“Which one?” the Doctor asked.

  
“Any one.” I watched the Doctor turn to the nearest bed and start scanning. I suddenly felt the nausea, and wondered if the chuckling earlier had been giddiness that I’d misinterpreted.

  
“Do- John?” The Doctor turned his head. “I’ll be in the hallway.”

  
I managed to make it around a corner before the nausea overtook me, and I sunk to my knees. The nausea was quickly replaced with absolute panic. The world blurred around me, and no matter how I gasped for breath, it wasn’t enough air. My brain was empty, but it was swimming with a thousand thoughts too woven together to even interpret.

  
Where was I? I was lost. Yes. I needed to get home, back to my family. This world wasn't right; it wasn't real. This was just weird dream, right? This was just a story and I was lost in it.

  
A loud clang jolted me upright. My heart stopped, then started running a million miles per hour, but I was present in this reality at least. I’d never had a panic attack before, but I had a feeling that wasn't actually what they were supposed to be like. I spent a long time sitting in that dark hallway, trying to catch my breath. It was almost normal. If I didn’t look at my clothing too close, or think too hard, or try to remember my name, I could very nearly convince myself I was somewhere familiar.

  
“Hello?” The voice was so faint, I thought I hadn’t actually heard it.

  
“Hello?” Rose Tyler. I stood up, using the wall as a crutch

  
“Hello?” Jack Harkness. I heard footsteps from two directions. “Good evening. Hope we're not interrupting.” I stumbled to the end of the hallway. I could see the three of them standing directly under one of the hallway lights, but no one turned to look at me. “Jack Harkness. I've been hearing all about you on the way over.” Jack shook the Doctor’s hand. I smiled weakly from my hiding place.

  
“He knows.” Rose said, amazingly convincing. “I had to tell him about us being Time Agents.” The Doctor looked confused for only a second before nodding, ready to go along with the lie.

  
“And it's a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spock.” Jack clapped the Doctor on the shoulder and I had to hold back a laugh at the Time Lord’s expression. “Although I heard there was another one of you?” My heart warmed for the first time since stepping out of the TARDIS earlier. Rose had mentioned me.

  
I pushed myself out of the hallway, trying my best not to look like someone who had just had a panic and then a heart attack. “That’s probably me. Hi.” I stumbled. “Katelyn Laurin.” _Scared of the bombs._ My legs gave out that time. Everyone scrambled to catch me, but the Doctor got me first. It took all my effort not to lean into him.

  
“You ok?” he asked.

  
“We’re in a mysterious hospital in the middle of an air raid during the London Blitz trying to figure out what alien tech crashed in railway station,” I parroted, trying to smile. “Just fine.” Jack seemed to take me at my word, and brushed past to walk back into the ward.

  
“Mr. Spock?” the Doctor complained as soon as he was out of earshot. He helped me to my feet again, keeping a steadying hand on my arm.

  
“What was I supposed to say?” Rose argued. She came over to my other side, just in case I fell again. “You don't have a name. Don't you ever get tired of Doctor? Doctor who?” I might have laughed it I wasn’t still very focused on putting on foot in front of the other.

  
“Nine centuries in, I'm coping. Where've you been? We're in the middle of a London Blitz. It's not a good time for a stroll.”

  
“Who's strolling?” Rose sassed. “I went by barrage balloon. Only way to see an air raid.”

  
“What?” I couldn’t tell if the Doctor was worried, angry, or if he just didn't believe her.

  
“Listen, what's a Chula warship?” _Afraid._

  
“Chula?”

  
When we got into the ward, I found a chair to sit in while the Doctor and Rose watched Jack scan a few patients. It only took another few seconds of deep breaths for me to be almost back to normal. “This just isn't possible. How did this happen?” the captain questioned.

  
“What kind of Chula ship landed here?” The Doctor demand.

  
“What?” Jack asked.

  
“He said it was a warship.” Rose broke in. “He stole it, parked it somewhere out there, somewhere a bomb's going to fall on it unless we make him an offer.”

“What kind of warship?” The Doctor asked.

  
“Does it matter?” Jack argued. “It's got nothing to do with this!”

  
“This started at the bomb site. It's got everything to do with it. What kind of warship?” the Doctor demanded. I felt like I could stand again, so I did.

  
“An ambulance!” Jack burst. He took a deep breath. “Look.” Jack pulled up a perfect hologram of the ambulance on the thing on his wrist. I walked over and stood next to Rose, trying not to stare. After all I’d seen today, a hologram was my fixation? “That's what you chased through the Time Vortex. It's space junk. I wanted to kid you it was valuable. It's empty. I made sure of it. Nothing but a shell. I threw it at you. Saw your time travel vehicle, love the retro look, by the way, nice panels. Threw you the bait.”

  
“Bait?” Rose interrupted.

  
“I wanted to sell it to you and then destroy it before you found out it was junk,” Jack confessed.

  
“You said it was a war ship,” Rose accused.

  
“They have ambulances in wars-” Jack started.

  
“It was a con,” I interrupted. All three people turned to look at me.

  
Jack sighed. “Yes, I was conning you. That's what I am, I'm a con man. I thought you were Time Agents. You're not, are you.”

  
“Just a couple more freelancers,” Rose said.

  
“Oh. Should have known. The way you guys are blending in with the local colour. I mean, Flag Girl was bad enough, but U-Boat Captain?” Jack looked me over. “Ok, well, I guess one of you knew what you were doing.” I definitely blushed, which was not ok. “Anyway, whatever's happening here has got nothing to do with that ship.”

  
“What is happening here, Doctor?” Rose asked. _Alone._

  
“Human DNA is being rewritten... by an idiot,” he answered.

  
“What do you mean?” Rose asked.

  
“I don't know. Some kind of virus converting human beings into these things. But why? What's the point?” _She left me._

  
“Maybe there isn’t a point,” I tried.

  
“Why wouldn’t there be a point?” the Doctor asked.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe-”

  
The patients suddenly sat up. We all jumped and took about five steps back. “Mummy? Mummy?” they asked on repeat.

  
“What's happening?” Rose asked, only a little panic in her tone.

  
“I don't know,” the Doctor admitted. _Afraid. Want mummy._ “Don't let them touch you,” he added. We all started backing up.

  
“Mummy? Mummy?”

  
“What happens if they touch us?” Rose asked in a way that said she was dreading the answer. We were getting close to a wall, which was not good.

  
“Mummy? Mummy?”

  
“You're looking at it,” the Doctor whispered.

  
“Mummy? Mummy?”

  
“Help me, mummy,” rang out above the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you like my self-indulgent Doctor Who fanfic. 12 year old me would be so proud. Please comment to leave a review or point out a grammar mistake or something.
> 
> Updates every Saturday, unless something crazy happens. I am a college student, after all. 
> 
> Special thanks to my boyfriend who pestered and encouraged me into actually posting this. Love you, dear.
> 
> Thanks again and see ya next week!


	2. The Doctor Dances

I was furious. I probably should have been scared, but all I could find in the emotional recesses of my mind was anger. Blame it on the motherly instincts I had for some reason. A series of unfortunate events, of pointless lies, had lead to this. A child was hurting, and I was going to put a stop to it right now.

 

“Go to your room!” I shouted. Everyone stood very still. Confidence buzzed through my veins like a drug. Oh, this was a bit fun, actually. “I said, go to your room!” The gas-mask zombies just stared, unmoving. “You heard me. You’re in time out, and I am very angry with you. Now, go to your room!” The zombies hung their heads and slowly started shuffling back to their beds. Behind me, I heard the three people who actually belonged as part of this story let out a deep sigh.

 

“What made you do that?” The Doctor asked. I wanted to lie, I really did.

 

“You were gonna come up with that in a minute,” I told him. I expected anger, or maybe discomfort, but the Doctor actually smiled.

 

“Well, then I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words for either of us.” I breathed a laugh, the confidence still burning through me.

 

Rose walked over and crouched beside one of the beds. Jack sat back in a chair and threw his legs on the desk. I leaned against the wall, trying to get my heartrate back to normal. 

 

“Why are they all wearing gas masks?” Rose asked.

 

“They're not,” Jack said. “Those masks are flesh and bone.”

 

“Changing must hurt so much,” I whispered. I ran my hand along the blanket the nearest patient was laying on. It was all I could do to keep from touching them.  __ “I’m sorry.” 

 

“How was your con supposed to work?” the Doctor asked Jack. 

 

“Simple enough, really,” he started. “Find some harmless piece of space junk, let the nearest Time Agent track it back to Earth, convince him it's valuable, name a price. When he's put fifty percent up front, oops! A German bomb falls on it, destroys it forever. He never gets to see what he's paid for, never knows he's been had. I buy him a drink with his own money, and we discuss dumb luck. The perfect self-cleaning con.”

 

“Yeah. Perfect,” the Doctor almost scolded. 

 

Jack opened his arms. “The London Blitz is great for self-cleaners. Pompeii's nice if you want to make a vacation of it though, but you've got to set your alarm for volcano day.” Jack started laughing. A woman with red hair and the word  _ Noble _ flashed in my mind, but again, I couldn’t place it. 

 

Jack had stopped laughing. “Take a look around the room,” the Doctor prompted. “This is what your harmless piece of space-junk did.” 

 

“It was a burnt-out medical transporter. It was empty,” Jack argued back. 

 

“He’s not lying,” I offered. The Doctor looked me over again, then started walking away. He called to Rose, who fell into step with him immediately.

 

“Are we getting out of here?” she asked

 

“We're going upstairs,” the Doctor answered. Jack watched them go, standing quickly and following. I walked in step with him.

 

“I even programmed the flight computer so it wouldn't land on anything living. I harmed no-one! I don't know what's happening here, but believe me, I had nothing to do with it.” Standing as close as I was, I could see the beginnings of tears in Jack’s eyes. He hadn’t meant for it to be this.

 

The Doctor stopped at the door. “I'll tell you what's happening. You forgot to set your alarm clock. It's volcano day.” A siren sounded before the Doctor had even finished his sentence. 

 

“What's that?” Rose asked.

 

“The all clear,” Jack explained quietly.

 

“I wish.” The Doctor opened the door with more force than was necessary and stormed out. Rose followed directly behind him. Before he could follow, I put my hand on Jack’s arm.

 

“If it helps, I don’t… I believe you,” I said gently. “I know you didn’t do this on purpose.” Jack smiled, then we ran off after the others.

 

Unfortunately, the Doctor was fast when he was angry, and soon we’d all lost him.

 

“Mister Spock?” Jack called. 

 

“Seriously? Do they not have  _ Star Trek  _ in the 51st century?” I asked. Jack stared at me blankly. “Oh my God, they don’t.”

 

“Doctor?” Rose called. 

 

We ran passed a staircase. “Have you got a blaster?” echoed down the stairwell. We skidded to a halt and I was glad again that I’d chosen boots over period shoes.

 

“Sure!” Jack respond, and then we were all dashing up the stairs. We stopped again a thick metal door labeled 802. The Doctor commanded Jack to get the door open. He shot the lock, and I had to admit a square of iron several inches thick disappearing was a lot more impressive without early 2000’s CGI.

 

“Sonic blaster, fifty first century,” I pretended to observe.

 

“Weapon Factories of Villengard?” the Doctor finished

 

“You've been to the factories?” Jack seemed legitimately surprised and handed his blaster over.

 

“Nope.” I passed the blaster to the Doctor without a glance at it.

 

“Once.” The Doctor looked it over

 

“Well, they’re gone now, destroyed. The main reactor went critical. Vaporized the lot.”

 

“Like I said. Once.” The Doctor shoved Jack’s blaster back into his hands. “There's a banana grove there, now.” He explained seemingly to only Rose. “I like bananas. Bananas are good.” The Doctor walked into the room and I followed right behind.

 

“Bananas are good,” I agreed solemnly. 

 

The room we walked into was trashed. Furniture were scattered as easily as paper across the floor. An observation window had been shattered in the direction of the observers, although the recorder on the desk remained intact. “What do you think?” the Doctor asked no one in particular. I walked and looked through the window.

 

“Something got out of here,” Jack took it upon himself to answer

 

“Yeah. And?”

 

“Something powerful. Angry,” Jack continued. I picked up a piece of the broken glass

 

“Powerful and angry,” the Doctor agreed. 

 

Still holding the glass, I walked into the observable part of the room. My heart made a valiant effort to leave my body via my throat. The air in the room hung so heavy with confusion and loss that it hurt. There were children’s drawings everywhere on the walls and the floor. Before he started to lose his mind, Jamie must have been reasonably sane. And so, so alone.

 

“Powerful and afraid,” I corrected too quietly.

 

“A child?” Jack asked. It occured to me Jack and Rose hadn't been with the Doctor and I at the house. They hadn't seen the little boy. “I suppose this explains Mummy.”

 

“How could a child do this?” Rose pointed her thumb at the broken window. Before anyone could think an answer, the Doctor managed to get the recorder to play. 

 

I blocked out the sound and walked in slow circles around the room. Every drawing was clearly of a girl with pigtails, usually she was smiling. My heart broke all over again for the child. I just wanted to hold him.  _ Lonely.  _ I put my hand on the wall, and rested my forehead against it. There was so much fear and anger and sorrow in this room.

 

“Doctor?” Rose asked. I looked up and turned slightly, hand still pressed to the wall. I hadn’t noticed him enter, but now he was pacing around the room.

 

“Can you sense it?” he asked.

 

“Sense what?” Jack asked. I just watched the Doctor in silence. 

 

“Coming out of the walls. Can you feel it?” The Doctor stopped pacing in front on me.

 

“Yes,” I whispered, blinking away tears. He looked over me to the others.

 

“Funny little human brains. How do you get around in those things?”  _ Perfectly well, thank you _ , I might have answered in a different life.

 

“When he's stressed, he likes to insult species,” Rose explained, but I barely heard her.  _ Afraid. Lonely. _

 

“Rose, I'm thinking,” the Doctor hushed.  _ Why did she leave me? _

 

“He cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.”  _ She left me all alone. Are you my mummy? _

 

“There are these children living rough round the bomb sites. We meet them.” The Doctor gestured between us a few times. “They come out during air-raids looking for food.”

 

“Mummy, please?” I pretty sure it was still the recorder.

 

“Suppose they were there when this thing, whatever it was, landed?” he continued.

 

“Jamie,” I whispered into the wall. 

 

“It was a med-ship,” Jack argued again. “It was harmless.”

 

“Yes, you keep saying harmless,” the Doctor almost spat at Jack. He turned back to Rose. “Suppose one of them was affected, altered?”

 

“Altered how?” Rose asked 

 

“I'm here!” The tape was out.

 

“He's afraid,” I choked out. Jack and Rose turned to look at me. My hand were shaking again and I couldn't look up from my shoes. “That little boy, he’s so afraid and so lonely.”

 

“Terribly afraid,” the Doctor agreed. “and powerful.” He paused to wheeze out a laugh. “It doesn't know it yet, but it will do. It's got the power of a god,”

 

Fear that was my own for once settled in my gut. I turned from the wall toward the others. “And I just sent it to it's room,” I realized. Rose was looking back and forth between the Doctor and me, shaking almost as bad as I was.

 

“Doctor.” She said it like a question.

 

“I'm here. Can't you see me?” the child asked. 

 

“What's that noise?” Rose almost shouted.

 

“End of the tape,” the Doctor all but whispered, face shifting back to serious. “It ran out about thirty seconds ago.”  _ Who are you? Are you my mummy? _

 

“I sent it to it's room,” I managed. “This room.” The Doctor spun and stepped out of the way. The child was just standing there. He was so small, his chest barely reached the table the recorder was on. He wasn't afraid in this moment. He was confused, and a little angry.

 

“Are you my mummy?” He seemed to ask Rose. He turned to me. “Mummy?”

 

“No,” I told him. “I’m not-”

 

“Doctor?” Rose barely said. He was standing protectively in front of her, holding his arms up to shield her. I didn’t dare move.

 

“Okay, on my signal make for the door.” Jack crept closer to the child and reached into his jacket. “Now!” Jack pulled out a banana, and I almost choked on the laugh that forced its way out of my lungs. The Doctor grinned, pulled the blaster from his belt and aimed it at the wall.

 

“Go now!” he commanded. “Don't drop the banana!”

 

“Why not?!” Jack cried, as we made a mad dash for the square hole in the wall.

 

“Good source of potassium!” 

 

As soon as we were all on the other side, Jack snatched his blaster back and put the missing square in the wall back into the wall. “Digital rewind,” he explained, out of breath, tossing the banana back to the Doctor. “Nice switch.” 

 

“Groves of Villengard?” I questioned, not able to remember the answer among all the things happening in my brain and the lack of oxygen in my lungs.

 

“I thought it was appropriate,” the Doctor confessed.

 

“There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard and you did that?” Jack asked. Rose gave me a look that said, ‘boys’. I shrugged.

 

“Bananas are good.” We had a whole half-second of peace before the wall cracked and we all stumble back

 

“Doctor!” Rose cried. 

 

“Come on!” The Doctor picked a direction and ran. I took two steps before I decided to stay put. No sense in running twice more than I had to. I pressed myself against the wall to avoid being run over when they sped past me in the other direction. They ran into a problem there too and stopped back in front of me.

 

“He's gonna keep us here,” I told them.

 

“It's controlling them?” Jack asked.

 

“It is them.” The Doctor spoke before I could. “It's every living thing in this hospital.” 

 

“Okay.” Jack was spinning between the wall and the slowly advancing patients. “This can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and as a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?” 

 

“I've got a sonic, er.” The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver with a smile before realizing this might be the one situation it wasn’t any use for. “Oh, never mind.”

 

“What?” Jack called. I was smiling despite myself. I couldn't remember if we died here, but the banter was well worth it. Or maybe I was disassociating again.

 

“It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that.”

 

“Disrupter? Cannon? What?” 

 

“It's sonic!” The Doctor’s voice only cracked a little. Rose looked like she was trying not to have as much fun as I was. “Totally sonic! I am soniced up!” 

 

“A sonic what?!” 

 

“Screwdriver!” Jack turned and stared dumbfounded at the Doctor. The wall cracked, but before I could even consider how dead I was, Rose grabbed Jack’s wrists and aimed his blaster down.

 

“Going down!” Then there wasn’t a floor, and we fell. As soon as we hit the ground, Jack aimed up and put the floor back

 

“Doctor, are you okay?” Rose asked. I stood up. My right ankle was shot through with pain, but otherwise I was fine.

 

“Could've used a warning.” The others rose slowly. My ankle hurt when I put my weight on it, but it was no worse than a playground injury. I could walk it off.

 

“Oh, the gratitude,” Rose teased, walking away immediately.

 

“Who has a sonic screwdriver?” Jack demanded. I pointed at the Doctor.

 

“I do,” he defended. 

 

“Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, ooo, this could be a little more sonic?” Jack demanded.

 

“Who ever owned the factories at Villengrad?” I offered.

 

“Oh, now your on his side?” Jack said to me. I just shrugged.

 

“Oh, what, you've never been bored?” the Doctor offered. “Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?” Rose found the lightswitch, which was maybe a mistake. When the lights flared on, a whole unwoken ward of gas mask zombies sat up.

 

“Door,” Jack said, far more calm than he had any right to be.

 

“Don’t bother with the blaster,” I cried as we ran. “The battery’s dead.” The Doctor opened the lock in a matter of seconds, and we tumbled into the next room.

 

“The battery?” Rose cried, affronted. “That's so lame!” Jack didn’t stop, just ran across the room and started checking the window.

 

“I was going to send for another one, but somebody's got to blow up the factory,” Jack said to the Doctor’s back, while the Doctor worked to lock and reinforce the door.

 

“You can both time travel!” I said to the men.

 

“First day I met him, he blew my job up,” Rose explained to both me and Jack. “That's practically how he communicates.”

 

“Okay, that door should hold it for a bit.” The Doctor nearly skipped away.

 

“The door? The wall didn't stop it!” Jack shouted.

 

“Well, the wall did ‘hold it for a bit’,” I argued. Jack threw his hands up in the air.

 

“And, it's got to find us first! Come on, we're not done yet! Assets, assets!” The Doctor started pulling open drawers and cabinets. Rose followed his example, even though she had no idea what she was looking for.

 

“Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch, you could put up some shelves,” Jack said.

 

“Oh come on, you can do more than that with a regular screwdriver,” I bantered. “Build a chair, build a desk, build a… bedframe.” Jack gave me a long shuffering look, despite having only known me for half an hour.

 

“Are you done?” he asked

 

“Hopefully not.”

 

“Window,” the Doctor called, jumping on a desk to look. 

 

“Barred. Sheer drop outside. Seven stories,” Jack spat.

 

“And no other exits.” Rose was smiling, so I let myself smile to.

 

“Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?” Jack sounded bitter. The Doctor turned to me, and I shrugged, not really sure was he was asking. He turned to Rose. 

 

“So, where'd you pick this one up, then?”

 

“Doctor,” Rose muttered. 

 

“She was hanging from a barrage balloon, I had an invisible spaceship,” Jack flirted. “I never stood a chance.” The two shared a smile and I could feel the possessiveness rolling off the Doctor from the other side of the room.

 

“Okay. One, we've got to get out of here. Two, we can't get out of here.” The Doctor returned to the window. I watched him work, wondering if a seven story drop was really that bad. “Have I missed anything?”

 

“Yeah. Jack just disappeared.” The Doctor and I both spun to see the wheelchair Jack had been sitting in now completely empty. We made a few half-hearted looks around the room, but Jack was definitely gone. 

 

“Rude,” I mumbled to no one.

 

“Okay, so he's vanished into thin air.” Rose leaned against the table next to the Doctor. “Why is it always the great looking ones who do that?”

 

I made an effort to tuck myself into a back corner. I hoped they’d forget I was there.

 

“I'm making an effort not to be insulted,” the Doctor complained. 

 

“I mean,” she paused. “Men.” 

 

“Okay, thanks, that really helped.” I bit my lip around a smile. Oh, if only he knew. 

 

A radio we hadn’t noticed in the room crackled to life before I could make a decision I might regret.

 

“Rose? Katelyn?” My name hit me like a bullet. “Doctor? Can you hear me? I'm back on my ship,” said Jack’s voice. “Used the emergency teleport. Sorry I couldn't take you. It's security-keyed to my molecular structure.” The Doctor held up the cut off ends of the radio’s wires with curiosity. “I'm working on it. Hang in there.”

 

“How're you speaking to us,” the Doctor asked, looking back and forth between Rose and I.

 

“Om-Com,” Jack’s voice explained. “I can call anything with a speaker grill.”

 

“That’s some serious backward compatibility,” I mumbled.

 

“Now there's a coincidence,” the Doctor said.

 

“What is?” said Jack.

 

“The child can Om-Com, too.” 

 

“He can?” Rose was starting to catch on, I could tell 

 

“Anything with a speaker grill,” the Doctor explained. “Even the TARDIS phone.”

 

“The one on the outside, not the working one on the inside,” I explained pointlessly. 

 

“What, you mean the child can phone us?” Rose was scared and fascinated.

 

“And I can hear you,” the child sing-songed through the radio. “Coming to find you. Coming to find you.”  _ Alone and angry. _

 

I focused hard on blocking those emotions out. I had no idea how, but I knew they were the child’s. I wondered, if I could almost track him through his emotions, could he find me? I closed my eyes and imagined the child, in all his fear, back in the observation room, and I closed the door. 

 

“Coming to find you, mummy.” A song that I couldn’t place for the life of me replaced the child’s voice, and the emotions faded.

 

“Our song,” I heard Rose say. The Doctor gave a knowing sort of nod and moved back to the window. Rose plopped herself in the wheelchair Jack had been sitting in. I boosted myself onto a table, trying very hard to not be seen, slowly trying to build barriers around my mind. I had no real idea what I was doing, or if I was doing it even a little bit correctly, but it felt nice to have something to focus on.

I was so focused, in fact, I didn’t notice anything until Rose turned the radio up. I looked at her and wiggled my eyebrows. She shot me a glare, blushing, so I gave her a thumbs up and waved her on. She walked a few more steps and held her hand out to the Doctor. “You've got the moves? Show me your moves,” she challenged.

 

The Doctor looked like he really didn’t want to argue, but felt like he had to. I covered my grin with my sleeve.  _ If only he knew. _

 

“Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete.” His voice wavered as much as his resolve.

 

“Jack'll be back. He'll get us out,” Rose insisted, not swayed in the slightest. “So come on. The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances.”  _ The Doctor Dances. _

 

That was the name of this episode. The rest of the plot flooded into my brain. I had to grip the table until my knuckles turned white to keep from falling. When I managed to open my eyes, Rose and the Doctor we’re holding each other in that almost dance. Knowing what came next, I jumped off the table and closed my eyes again. I wasn’t too keen on teleportation.

 

“You'll find your feet at the end of your legs,” I heard Rose tease. “You may care to move them.”

 

“If ever he was a Captain, he's been defrocked.”  

 

“Yeah?” Rose sounded almost drunk. I could imagine the look on her face, trying so hard not the admit she’s in love. “Shame I missed that.”

 

“Actually, I quit.” I snapped my eyes open, surprised by the lack of sensation that came with the teleport. “Nobody takes my frock.” The Doctor and Rose separated slowly, like they knew the should have jumped but didn't want to let go. “Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so sweet.” Jack climbed out of the pilot's chair and started fiddling with the controls. “Sorry about the delay. I had to take the nav-com offline to override the teleport security.”

 

“You can spend ten minutes overriding your own protocols? Maybe you should remember whose ship it is.” Even the Doctor seemed to think he was grasping at straws, just wanting to complain some more about Jack. Or just annoyed at the interruption.

 

“Oh, I do. She was gorgeous. Like I told her, be back in five minutes.” Jack disappeared under the hub.

 

“This is a Chula ship,” the Doctor observed. 

 

“Yeah, just like that medical transporter.” Jack stayed under the hub, but pointed to what was clearly the controls for a weapons system. “Only this one is dangerous.” 

 

The Doctor snapped his fingers, and I watched what must have been millions of glowing nanogenes swarm his hand.

 

“They're what fixed my hands up.” Rose looked delighted to see the little things again. I couldn’t help but agree. “Jack called them, er-”

 

“Nanobots?” the Doctor guessed. “Nanogenes.” When Rose agreed, the Doctor launched into an explanation about nanogenes and how they worked that I chose to ignore. I snapped my own fingers, and a small group of the little robots settled around my hand. It kinda tickled. I stifled a giggle. “Take us to the crash site. I need to see your space junk.” 

 

“As soon as I get the nav-com back online,” Jack didn’t bother arguing. “Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever it was you were doing.” I sat down on what I think was the bed, although it was cramped and uncomfortable, twisting my hand to observe the nanogense from all directions.

 

“We were talking about dancing,” the Doctor said, oblivious.

 

“It didn't look like talking,” Jack encouraged. 

 

“It didn't feel like dancing,” Rose all but agreed. An awkward silence settled on the ship, which only Rose really seemed to hate.

 

“So, you used to be a Time Agent, now you're trying to con them?” she asked Jack.

 

“If it makes me sound any better, it's not for the money,” Jack sighed, still working away to get his ship back in flying order.

 

“For what?” Rose asked, seemingly glad.

 

“Woke up one day when I was still working for them, found they'd stolen two years of my memories.” Jack spoke quietly. “I'd like them back.”

 

“They stole your memories?” Rose said in a tone that made it clear she didn’t quite believe him. The Doctor looked at Jack, reading him, trying to decide if he was lying.

 

“Two years of my life. No idea what I did.” The Doctor looked away. Jack nodded. “Your friend over there doesn't trust me, and for all I know he's right not to.”

 

“Maybe they weren’t stolen,” I offered.

 

Jack stopped working and everyone fixed their eyes on me. “What do you mean?” he asked in a carefully controlled tone.

 

“Total shot in the dark here.”  I shrugged, but the pressure of three sets of eyes boring into me wasn’t exactly keeping me calm. “Maybe they weren’t taken. I mean, when the human brain wants to forget trauma or whatever, it doesn’t really erase the information. Maybe they were… suppressed.” There was absolute silence on the ship. I locked eyes with the Doctor, trying to communicate that this really was just a guess before I focused my eyes on my boots. “I don’t know, just an idea.” The ship beeped a triple tone, and Jack spun around to start piloting.

 

I didn’t look up from my shoes until Jack had parked the ship in the air close to the rail station. I didn’t want to see the look I’m sure the Doctor was giving me, because it  _ really was  _ just a guess. Once at the crash site, we all climbed out rather gracelessly and huddled behind some crates.

 

“There it is,” Jack declared, even though we could all see everything quite easily. “Hey, they've got Algy on duty. It must be important.”

 

“We've got to get past him,” the Doctor said.

 

“Are the words distract the guard heading in my general direction?” Rose teased, already shifting to start walking.

 

Jack blocked her. “I don't think that'd be such a good idea.”

 

“Don't worry. I can handle it.” Rose almost sounded offended. Jack gave her a look.

 

“I've got to know Algy quite well since I've been in town.”

 

“How well, captain?” I teased.

 

“Hush, you,” he said, unfazed. “Trust me, neither of you are his type. I'll distract him.” Jack moved before Rose could argue. “Don't wait up.”

 

Rose looked away from Jack with a bewildered expression. “Relax, he's a fifty first century guy,” The Doctor said, nodding in the direction of Jack’s back. “He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to dancing.”

 

“How flexible?” Rose stuttered out.

 

“Well, Rose,” I decided to interject. “ _ I’m  _ as flexible as Jack’s shown so far, and you and I are still from the same century, so do with that information what you will.” 

 

“And, by his time, you lot have spread out across half the galaxy.” The Doctor didn’t hesitate, but I tried my best not to flinch at the look Rose gave me.

 

“Meaning?” 

 

“So many species, so little time.” The Doctor sounded almost impressed.

 

“What, that's what we do when we get out there?” Rose sounded like she didn’t believe us. “That's our mission? We seek new life, and, and-”

 

“Dance,” the Doctor and I said in unison. He smile from ear to ear, and I would have laughed if we weren’t supposed to be stealthy.

We watched Jack approach the other soldier, spring in his step, and have a very confused conversation with the soldier. Algy looked like we was going to puke, then fell forward on his knees. We broke into a run. “Stay back!”

 

The Doctor looked down and Algy laying on the ground with a gas mask face. His face was the picture of stress. “The effect's become airborne, accelerating,” he warned. An air raid siren started up again.

 

“What's keeping us safe?” Rose asked with all the confidence of someone who’d nearly died a good number of times.

 

“Dumb luck?” I offered. I could hear singing, and was trying to listen for where I knew they were keeping Nancy.

 

“Nothing,” the Doctor corrected. 

 

I wandered away, knowing the Doctor would be behind me in a minute. Nancy was sitting surprisingly calmly when I found her, but stopped singing when she heard the door open. I gestured for her to keep singing. She shook her cuff, and I bit my lip. I should have grabbed the keys before I ran off.

 

But then the Doctor was brushing past my shoulder, pulling out the sonic and making quick work of the hand cuffs. Nancy stopped singing immediately, as we all rushed back out into the night. I heard the spotlights flare on behind me, as I took my time trying to lock the storehouse door.

There was a sound of sparks, and an alarm started blaring from the Chula ambulance.

 

“Didn't happen last time,” Jack said as I ran over. 

 

“It hadn't crashed last time,” the Doctor explained. “There'll be emergency protocols.”

 

The only gate into the fenced in area starting shaking. I was the only one who  _ knew _ what was on the other side, but from the fear on everyone’s faces, they could all hazard a guess.

 

“Captain, secure those gates!” the Doctor sprung into action

 

“Why?”

 

“Just do it! Nancy, how'd you get in here?”

 

“I cut the wire,” she said without hesitation. “Like she suggested.”

 

“Show Rose.” The Doctor tossed his sonic screwdriver to Rose. “Setting 2428-D.”

 

“What?

 

“Reattaches barbed wire. Go!” I climbed up on the ambulance with the Doctor.

 

“You have a setting for repairing barbed wire, but nothing for wood?” The Doctor chose to ignore me. Jack came back over and fiddled with the controls. I started pacing around, frustrated with how useless I was. 

 

The alarm didn’t turn off, but Jack slid the door open. 

 

“It's empty. Look at it.”

 

“What do you expect in a Chula medical transporter?” the Doctor snapped. “Bandages? Cough drops? Rose?”

 

“Why would Rose be in there?” I teased, stopping pacing and joining the group again.

 

“Really? Sass?” The Doctor accused.

 

“It’s how I cope.” The Doctor shook his head. “Rose?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“Yes, you do,” he encouraged. The Doctor held his hand up.

 

“Nanogenes!” Rose declared

 

“It wasn't empty, Captain. There was enough nanogenes in there to rebuild a species.”

 

“That seems excessive,” I said at the same time that Jack said “Oh, God.”

 

“Getting it now, are we?” the Doctor snapped again. No patience for anyone but Rose, it seemed. “When the ship crashes, the nanogenes escape. Billions upon billions of them, ready to fix all the cuts and bruises in the whole world. But what they find first is a dead child, probably killed earlier that night, and wearing a gasmask.”

 

“And they brought him back to life?” Rose gasped. “They can do that?” 

 

“What's life? Life's easy. A quirk of matter.” The Doctor was on a roll. “Nature's way of keeping meat fresh. Nothing to a nanogene. One problem, though. These nanogenes, they're not like the ones on your ship. This lot have never seen a human being before. Don't know what a human being's supposed to look like.” 

 

“Wait,” I whispered. I had a sudden realization. The nanogene’s on Jack’s ship shouldn’t have known what a Time Lord was supposed to be like. How did they heal the Doctor? Did he just have a patch of human skin on the back of his hand now? Did it matter?

 

“All they've got to go on is one little body, and there's not a lot left. But they carry right on. They do what they're programmed to do. They patch it up. Can't tell what's gasmask and what's skull, but they do their best. Then off they fly, off they go, work to be done. Because, you see, now they think they know what people should look like, and it's time to fix all the rest.” Jack looked like he was going to be sick. If I didn't have such a firm image in my mind of how I knew this played out, I might have joined him. 

 

“And they won't ever stop. They won't ever, ever stop. The entire human race is going to be torn down and rebuilt in the form of one terrified child looking for its mother, and nothing in the world can stop it!”

 

“I didn't know.” Jack was doing a truly amazing job of not crying. I could feel his regret, his sorrow without even needing this weird empathy thing I was doing. 

 

Silence fell following that comment and we all shuffled around awkwardly. The Doctor jumped back onto the ambulance and started fiddling with the controls. The patients shuffled slowly closer, calling “Mummy, mummy” the whole time. The door to the shelter Nancy had been kept in shook. Amidst the quiet chaos, I allowed myself a pat on the back.

 

“It's bringing the gas mask people here, isn't it?” Rose asked, panicked. I dimly noted that she asked a lot more questions than I remembered.

 

“The ship thinks it's under attack.” The Doctor was frowning in that way he did when he solved a mystery, but was wishing the answer was different. “It's calling up the troops. Standard protocol.”

 

I watched the advancing gas-mask zombies with fear sinking slowly into my bones. “Remind me to never mess with the Chula.” I spun in a circle, watching them close in on all sides. “Scratch that, remind me to never  _ meet  _ the Chula.”

 

“But the gas mask people aren't troops,” Rose protested weakly.

 

“They are now. This is a battlefield ambulance. The nanogenes don't just fix you up, they get you ready for the front line. Equip you, programme you.” I tried not to be impressed, I really did.

 

“That's why the child's so strong,” Rose realized. “Why it could do that phoning thing.”

 

“It's a fully equipped Chula warrior, yes.” The Doctor turned away from the ambulance and gestured to the slowly advancing patients around us. “All that weapons tech in the hands of a hysterical four year old looking for his mummy. And now there's an army of them.”

 

We watched the patients stop around the perimeter. “Why don't they attack?” Jack asked.

 

“Good little soldiers, waiting for their commander.”

 

“The child?” Jack sounded indignant, like that was the last thing he cared to imagine. 

 

“Jamie,” Nancy corrected quietly. I walked over to her and placed a hand on her back.

 

“What?” Jack asked.

 

“Not the child.” Nancy couldn’t look away from the fence. “Jamie.”

 

“So how long until the bomb falls?” Rose’s voice was shaky with panic, so I reached over and put a hand on her shoulder too.

 

“Any second.”

 

“What's the matter, Captain?” The Doctor advanced on Jack like he wanted to slap him, but turned toward the fence instead. “A bit close to the volcano for you?” I could feel the tension rising. Anger, fear, guilt, swirled in a thunderstorm around me. I had to close my eyes against the intensity of emotion swirling around me. I started to feel dizzy, and dropped my hands from the women’s shoulders in favor of bracing myself against the ambulance. I couldn’t hear the conversation around me, until the tiniest spark of understanding broke through the chaos.

“Nancy, what age are you?” the Doctor asked gently. I focused on his voice, tried to pull myself back into my own head. “Twenty? Twenty one? Older than you look, yes?” I heard an explosion very close. That was enough to pull me back.

 

“Doctor, that bomb. We've got seconds,” Jack warned, voice only cracking a little.

 

Another explosion. “You can teleport us out,” Rose tried. Jack shook his head.

 

“Not you guys. The nav-com's back online.” Jack was speaking, but I found that neither the Doctor nor I was really listening. “Going to take too long to override the protocols.” Nancy was all but sobbing, regret pouring off her.

 

“So it's volcano day.” The Doctor didn’t look away from Nancy’s face. “Do what you've got to do.” I heard Rose speak, and Jack teleport away. 

 

“How old were you five years ago?” the Doctor asked Nancy. “Fifteen? Sixteen? Old enough to give birth, anyway.” I put my hands back on Nancy’s shoulders and tried to give the Doctor a pointed look. He ignored me. “He's not your brother, is he?” Nancy looked up for a split second, before bowing and shaking her head. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “A teenage single mother in 1941. So you hid. You lied. You even lied to him.” Nancy was sniffling now with her nods.

 

We didn’t have much time to focus on this revelation. At that moment, the gates swung open to reveal Jamie at the front of a crowd of the gas-mask soldiers. Nancy flashed with so many emotions I had to pull away. My mind stung like I’d been burned.

 

“Are you my mummy?” Nancy looked at the Doctor, begging for help, but his expression remained schooled.

 

“He's going to keep asking, Nancy. He's never going to stop.” Jamie started advancing. “Tell him.” The Doctor’s tone finally took on a gentler note. “Nancy, the future of the human race is in your hands. Trust me and tell him.” Nancy sniffled a few more times, looking to the sky like she was praying. 

 

“Are you my mummy?” The Doctor put his hand on Nancy’s back, gently pushing her to turn and walk toward Jamie. “Are you my mummy?” She smiled sadly, but kept walking. “Are you my mummy?”

 

“Yes,” Nancy breathed. Even from my spot several feet behind her, I could feel the weight the confession took off her shoulders. “Yes, I am your mummy.”

 

“Mummy?” Jamie’s tone was hopeful, but I couldn’t feel any emotion from him anymore. 

 

“I'm here.”

 

“Are you my mummy?” Jamie advanced with no change of pace or cadence. 

 

“I'm here.” Nancy kneeled in front of her child.

 

“Are you my mummy?” Jame stopped walking.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Are you my mummy?” 

 

“He doesn't understand,” the Doctor said. I didn’t dare look away from Nancy.

 

“Yes, he does,” I insisted, more to remind myself than anything else. 

 

“There's not enough of him left.”

 

“Yes, there is”

 

“I am your mummy. I will always be your mummy.” Nancy’s voice wavered only a little. I'm so sorry.” She lifted to her knees, wrapping her son in a tight hug. I felt tears in my eyes, and reached up to touch my cheek. I was crying. “I am so, so sorry.”

 

The air around Nancy and Jamie lit up. “What's happening?” Rose sounded more amazed than afraid. When I looked, the Doctor face was the picture of pleading hope. “Doctor, it's changing her, we should-”

 

“Shush!” He didn’t even look at Rose. “Come on, please. Come on, you clever little nanogenes. Figure it out!” The cloud circle around Nancy and Jamie, almost like it was reading. “The mother,” the Doctor all but begged. “She's the mother. It's got to be enough information. Figure it out.”

 

“What's happening?” 

 

“See?” The Doctor pointed, even though we were all already looking. “Recognising the same DNA.” Jamie let go what must have been a death drip hug, and Nancy fell to the ground. We ran forward. “Oh, come on,” the Doctor pleaded. “Give me a day like this. Give me this one.” 

 

The Doctor reached forward slowly, and pulled the gas-mask off Jamie’s head. Nancy choked on a laugh. Rose and I glanced at each other before breaking out into stupidly wide grins and hugging. “Ha-ha! Welcome back!” the Doctor declared. He lifted Jamie up off the ground and held him. “Twenty years till pop music - you're going to love it.” Jamie had to good graces to not look too confused. The Doctor hugged the child tightly. 

 

“What happened?” Nancy asked, in an ear-splitting grin. The Doctor shifted Jamie in his arms, not ready to let the little boy down.

 

“The nanogenes recognised the superior information, the parent DNA.” You wouldn’t have had to look at the Doctor to know he was smiling. “They didn't change you because you changed them! Ha-ha!” The Doctor finally passed Jamie to Nancy. “Mother knows best!” 

A very nearby explosion startled at least Rose and I out of the happy stupor. “Doctor, that bomb,” Rose reminded him.

 

“Taken care of it.” The Doctor grinned at Rose.

 

“How?” she asked, clearly trying very hard not to match his grin. The Doctor gestured with wide arms. 

 

“Psychology,” he declared, then clasped his arms behind his back. The bomb came hurtling down toward us, but at what was very close to the last second, Jack’s ship swooped in and caught the bomb in a light beam. I laughed, not realizing how tense I’d been until I was relieved. Jack appeared on top of the bomb.

 

“Doctor!” Jack called.

 

“Good lad!”

 

“The bomb's already commenced detonation,” Jack warned. “I've put it in stasis but it won't last long.”

 

“Change of plan.” The Doctor gestured around to show the danger had gone. “Don't need the bomb. Can you get rid of it, safely as you can?” The hesitation in Jack’s answer sunk my stomach. The memories of how this episode really ended focused in my head.

 

“Rose?” Jack called.

 

“Yeah?” She smiled hopefully.

 

“Goodbye.” Jack and the bomb vanished for a second, then reappeared. “By the way, love the T-shirt.” Then Jack was gone, and his ship disappeared into the sky. Rose pulled absently at the T-Shirt as if she’d forgotten which one she was wearing and smiled almost shyly. I waved at the empty air.

The Doctor stepped forward, looking at his hands and biting his lip. The nanogenes in the air focused around him. “What are you doing?” Rose asked, still smiling.

 

“Software patch.” The Doctor looked back and forth between his hands, clearly focused. Gonna email the upgrade.” He looked forward to where most of the gas-mask zombies were still standing. “You want moves, Rose? I'll give you moves.” He threw his hands out in front of him. The glow followed the movement, swarming forward and surrounding that patients. They stood for a second, before collapsing to the ground.

 

Some nanogenes circled back and glowed around my ankle. I giggled at the feeling, and bent down to hold the tiny robots. They swirled in my cupped hands, like a billion tiny fireflies. It was cute.

 

“Everybody lives, Rose,” the Doctor shouted in absolute joy. “Just this once, everybody lives!” The patients stood back up slowly, shaking their heads, looking extremely confused. Rose laughed in relief behind me. Everyone who’d been affected was completely back to normal. They were better than back to normal.

 

The Doctor ran forward. When I took a step to follow him, the nanogenes stayed in a clump in my cupped hands. I could almost feel them trying to fight against the deactivation software the Doctor had patched into them. “Then don’t,” I whispered to the small clump in my hands. They stopped glowing, but I could still barely feel the weight of them. I dropped the cluster of nanogenes in my coat pocket, just as Rose came over and grabbed my hand. 

 

Her joy hit me in the gut like the best kind of sucker punch. I couldn’t help but mirror her smile as we ran back toward the TARDIS. The Doctor explained the whole way back, recounting the whole adventure as if we hadn’t been there. He didn’t stop as he paused to unlock the TARDIS doors, or when he burst in and up the the console.

 

“The nanogenes will clean up the mess and switch themselves off, because I just told them to. Except for that bit in you pocket.” He pointed at me, but he was clearly to busy riding the high of ‘nobody died’ to be anything near mad at me. “Nancy and Jamie will go to Doctor Constantine for help, ditto. All in all, all things considered, fantastic!” He clapped and laughed, dancing around the console and pushing buttons with no real purpose.

 

“Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas,” Rose said, a similar smile on her own face.

 

“Who says I'm not, red bicycle when you were twelve?” The Doctor said all in one breath.

 

Rose’s smile faded in surprise. “What?”

 

“And everybody lives, Rose!” He sprung over to us and put his hands on my shoulders.

 

“Everybody lives,” I agreed.

 

“Everybody lives!” He danced away again. “I need more days like this.”

 

“Doctor.” Rose’s sudden worry was a shocking contrast to the joy bouncing around the TARDIS walls. The Doctor didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Go on, ask me anything. I'm on fire!” 

 

“What about Jack?” The Doctor’s smile slowly slid of his face. “Why'd he say goodbye?” The Doctor fiddled with controls for a minute, before smiling softly.

 

“I don’t know.” He flipped a few switches, and the TARDIS whooshed then settled. Rose walked over to the Doctor, but I knew where we were already. 

 

I bounded to the TARDIS doors, threw them open, and watched Jack down the last of his drink. The same song from earlier started up again, and Jack turned to stare at the doors. I leaned in the door frame in an foolish attempt to look kinda cool.

 

“You know, most people notice when they’ve been boarded,” I teased. Jack shot out of his chair, and all but sprinted closer. “Especially with this beauty. She makes a lot of noise.” I stepped out of the doorway to let him in and we both just stood and stared at Rose and the Doctor almost maybe slow dancing a bit.

 

“Okay. And right and turn.” The Doctor spun Rose, but didn’t seem to want to take his hands off her. Her arm got caught in his hand and tugged against her back. I smiled fondly, remembering my own awkward first dance with… someone. The face and name stayed fuzzy. “Okay, okay, try and spin me again,” Rose said to the Doctor. He was frowning, his hands in his pockets. “but this time don't get my arm up my back. No extra points for a half-nelson.”

 

“I'm sure I used to know this stuff,” the Doctor muttered to no one in particular. He broke away from Rose and turned back to the console, working to get us away from Jack’s ship. “Close the door, will you?” Jack and I both scrambled to close the TARDIS doors. “Your ship's about to blow up. There's going to be a draught.” The Doctor flipped on last switch, and the TARDIS was off into the Vortex. “Welcome to the TARDIS.”

 

“Much bigger on the inside,” Jack observed, looking down one of the corridors off the console room. I stepped away from the door and boosted myself onto the metal railings that surrounded the console.

 

“You'd better be,” the Doctor said pointedly, flicking some more switches. I wondered how many of them did nothing. The TARDIS hummed offense into my mind, so I patted the coral strut next to me.

 

“I think what the Doctor's trying to say is.” Rose swayed over past me to Jack and held her hand out. “You may cut in.” She grinned with her tongue between her teeth.

 

I risked a glance at the Doctor, who was doing his absolute best not to glare at Jack. He just stared for a second, then his face lit up.

 

“Rose!” The other two turned to look at him. “I've just remembered!”

 

“What?” Rose laughed. The music picked up from a slow waltz to a much faster swing song. I looked at the ceiling, and the TARDIS hummed the equivalent of ‘no, I don’t know how the music changed either’. I rolled my eyes, smiling.

 

“I can dance!” the Doctor declared. He stepped a jazz square in place, snapping to the beat of the music. “I can dance!”

 

“Actually, Doctor,” Rose said, sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than anyone else. “I thought Jack might like this dance.”

 

“I'm sure he would, Rose.” The Doctor didn’t stop dancing a jazz square as he spoke. Rose was biting her lip hard, desperately trying not to smile. “I'm absolutely certain. But who with?” With a wide smile and trying not to laugh, Rose ran up to the Doctor, taking his hand and dancing around the console.

 

“What am I, invisible and/or chopped liver?” I muttered, not in the least actually upset. I slipped of the bar and offered my hand to Jack. “Captain?”

 

“I can’t swing dance,” he admitted.

 

“Well, neither can I.” I wiggled my fingers. With a laugh, Jack took my hand and spun me once. We awkwardly tried to step around to the beat, both focusing far more on the other pair in the TARDIS than each other. I watched the Doctor dip Rose. I heard her nearly shriek in delight. The two just held each other as the song faded out, the Doctor shooting Jack a ‘hands off the blonde’ look over Roses shoulder. 

 

The TARDIS hum pressed at the back of my mind, and I became aware of exactly how exhausted I was. I pulled away from Jack, collapsed into the jump seat with all the grace of a dying squid, and pressed my eyes shut.

 

“Tired?” someone asked.

 

“Usually,” I mumbled. I heard laughter, then someone was grabbing my hands and trying to pull me to my feet.

 

“Come on.” I peeled my eyes open to see it was Rose holding my hands and trying to convince me to stand. When she saw my open eyes, she pulled again. I didn’t move.

 

“I’d rather sleep here than in the medbay, thanks,” I told her. Somewhere to my left, I heard the Doctor huff. 

 

“Down that hall, left, left, down the ramp, three rights, end of the hall,” he said. I sat up and stared at him. It took a second of silence for him to look up from the scanner and meet my eyes. “Your bedroom,” he explained. When I just continued to stare blankly, he gestured with his head. “Go on then.” I was down the hallway in a second, exhaustion forgotten. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Love you all. Next week's chapter isn't an episode, so I hope my writing quality holds up on its own.
> 
> See ya next week!


	3. 24 Hours in the Vortex

The door to my new bedroom looked exactly like every other door on the TARDIS I saw as I was running by. I had to give her points for consistency, I guess. I probably wouldn’t have even known the room I stopped in front of was my own if it didn’t just feel so  _ right _ . 

 

“Ok,” I whispered, excitement just barely winning out over exhaustion. “Let’s see what you made me.” 

 

I pressed my hand to the panel next to the door and watched the doors slide open. My smile, along with my stomach, dropped as soon as I saw the room  inside. 

 

It looked  _ exactly  _ like my college dorm room, the last room I could remember being in before being here. The bed was lofted in the back corner, shoved in between the desk and the wall. An empty bookshelf was sitting at a precarious angle on the top of the desk, empty of the books that it had held in my home world. The cold, colorless tiles and the purple patterned rug were exactly like home, as was the closet without a door. The light’s were softer, less likely to give me a headache at 2 am, and my roommate’s stuff was absent, but they were differences that were hard to notice. 

 

I pressed my eyes shut and slammed my hand on the panel. The door closed far faster than it had opened. A small mercy.

 

It hurt. It hurt more than any language I knew had words for to look at that room. I slid down the wall, trying to gasp breaths around the ache in my chest. It felt like the memory of every moment I had spent in that room was trying to present itself to my consciousness all at once. I heard my own laugh. I saw my brother bouncing on the bed. I felt my parent’s hug me goodbye.

 

My vision went gold for a second, and suddenly I could breathe normally again. I was crying hard enough that even the floor in front of my face was blurred. When had I fallen over? And why was I crying? My mind felt light and empty and- 

 

“No, give them back.”

 

<...>

 

Rose had checked out far earlier than usual after the last adventure, and the Captain had seemed more than ready for sleep, which left the Doctor alone to decide what to do while the humans slept. He supposed he could sleep too, if he was really feeling up to it, but he wasn’t today. Instead, he paced around the console room a few times, wondering if he could do some repairs (Read: tinker), or if maybe tonight was a reading sort of night instead, when the TARDIS hum in the back of his mind spiked.

 

“Oh, what now?” he said, spinning and looking up at time rotor in the middle of console. “Have I forgotten to change the heat dampers again?” The scanner slid over of its own accord, so the Doctor walked over to it. He caught sight of a view on the internal not-cameras and sighed. “Mark my words, she’ll be more trouble than she’s worth,” the Doctor said, already on his way down the corridor.

 

You’d have to be heartless to deny she was a pitiful sight, Katelyn Laurin, curled up on the floor, shaking with forgotten sobs. The Doctor watched her try to pull herself up and fail, legs too weak to hold her own weight. 

 

“No, give them back,” she croaked, voice scratchy like she’d been screaming. “Give my memories back.” The Doctor watched her hit the wall weakly, her heart clearly not in it, his own clenching. What in her mind could be so bad that even she needed to forget it?

 

“Please” Her tone changed from tired to begging. She managed to turn and press her forehead to the wall. “I need to grieve eventually.” 

 

Oh. So nothing explicitly dangerous or traumatic then. Just the burning memories of what had been left behind. The simple things that hurt to think about, because you could never have them back.

 

That grief was a feeling he knew all too well.

 

“Information overload,” the Doctor explained, voice steady. The girl turned a little bit to look at him. She was a mess of tangled hair and wide, puffy eyes. Her cheeks were streaked with tears she was still shedding. She looked so  _ human _ that the Time Lord found himself forgetting what else she was. “Your brain is trying to process two realities at once. No one’s meant to do that.” He walked forward slowly, although there was really no chance of him scaring her off. 

 

“It was my dorm room,” Katelyn whispered in explanation. 

 

The TARDIS hummed a loud apology. She hadn’t meant to hurt Katelyn, in any way. She was just doing what she always did for new companions, plucking the last bedroom they remembered and remaking it as generically as possibly. It was meant to be a comfort for people in a new environment, not cause a panic attack.

 

“I know,” the Doctor lied, squatting in front of her. He held his hands out in offering. “Let me help.” He could easily see the recognition in Katelyn’s eyes, as she tried to scoots back away from him. She couldn’t really move, as exhausted as she clearly was.

 

“You can’t. It’s not safe.” The fact that she knew shouldn’t have comforted the Doctor, but it did. It meant she wouldn’t do anything on purpose. He reached closer, despite her reservations. 

 

“Trust me,” he said, voice soft. Katelyn leaned forward into his touch and it did something weird to his hearts to see how quickly she trusted him, despite both their fears. Either that or the exhaustion wasn’t letting her think straight. Probably that second one.

 

The Doctor put his hand on the sides of her head, resting his fingers on her temples. He could feel the golden glow of the TARDIS woven into her mind, protecting both of them from her memories. 

 

Although, the Doctor didn’t pull at her mind, like he was sure she’d been expecting. Instead, he dumped in the best image of a full 8 hours of sleep he could conjure. Katelyn slumped forward, unconscious instantly. He caught her before she could hit the hard walls or floors of the TARDIS hallway. He shifted until he could carry her and stood up. The TARDIS opened the door automatically, with another wave of apology, and he went into the room.

 

It was chilly, even by the Doctor’s standards, and certainly unlike any bedroom he’d ever seen. Although, strangeness was par for the course with his companions, he supposed. 

 

The Time Lord set the unconscious young woman on the bed, and managed to untangle her from the coat she was still wearing. He turned and threw it over a chair in the corner. Then, the Doctor turned back to the bed, pulled back a truly astonishing amount of blankets, and slid Katelyn under. She curled into the warmth of the blankets immediately and rather adorably. The Doctor found himself brushing her hair out of her face before he could stop himself.

 

“Leave the domestics to the humans,” he scolded himself and left the room.

 

<...>

 

I woke up feeling like my stomach was trying to digest  _ itself _ in lieu of any food. That was probably a good thing, in hindsight, as if I hadn’t been about to die of hunger, I would not have gotten out of bed. 

 

The mattress was a cloud from heaven. The sheer weight of the stack of very soft blankets on top me was an enormous comfort. The pillows were smaller clouds of heaven. I did  _ not  _ want to move.

 

But then my stomach cramped again, and, with a groan, I forced myself to sit up.

 

The room was cold, which shocked me out of fuzz in my head and caused me to reflexively yank my blankets up to my chin. Everything that had happened in the last 24 hours rushed back into my head, but, for the first time, it wasn’t followed by any sort of pain. I could clearly remember exactly what has happened last night, right up until the Doctor very helpfully knocked me out.

 

When I tried to search for more, like why the room had upset me so much, I was meet with a golden brick wall and a gentle nudge to open my eyes. I pressed at the wall, which only made the nudge to open my eyes less gentle.

 

“OK. You win.” I whispered. The TARDIS hummed smugly. I rolled my eyes behind my eyelids. “Let’s try this again.”

 

The room that greeted my opened eyes was  _ not  _ my dorm room nor any bedroom I’d ever owned back home. The bed I was lying in was still shoved in the back corner, but that had been true of every bedroom I’d ever had or ever would have. Corners were objectively the best place to put a bed. Only one side for possibly midnight murderer to attack from.

 

The walls looked like rough cut birch wood, about six feet high. The ceiling was made of wooden planks, that looked like they had been very poorly put together, as there were gaps between the planks. When I squinted, I could sort of see stars peeking out, exactly like how the night sky looked from Earth.

 

I hummed in appreciation at the view. I’d alway wanted to paint my childhood bedroom with the night sky, but I’d never gotten around to it. The TARDIS preened at that thought.

 

The view off the foot of my bed was blocked by what I would later figure out where rows of empty bookshelves. Everything in the room was barebones, waiting for a personal touch. I had no doubt the TARDIS could create any trinket I could ever want, but she hadn’t. 

 

I smiled. That meant every trinket I did end up with would have a story. What was the point of trinkets otherwise?

 

Across the room was a desk, the only part of the room not blank. There was a jar sitting in the middle, which was what caught my eye. I climbed out of the bed, and practically leapt across the room to it. 

 

The coat I had been worn yesterday was thrown haphazardly across the chair, which I ignored in favor of the jar. When I picked it up, it sparked, then glowed with the buzzing lights of billions of nanogenes. My chest warmed with affection and I smiled. “Hey guys.” It might have been my imagination, but I was pretty sure they condensed on my hands. I was a goner for the little balls of light already.

 

There was a note under the jar.

 

_ You shouldn’t store them in cloth _

 

  * __The Doctor__



 

 

“Well, I can’t carry a jar around in my pocket. Unless-” Before the wheels in my mind could even begin to turn, my stomach reminded me why I had gotten out of bed at all. “Fine.”

 

I walked to what I was pretty sure was a dresser and pulled a drawer open. I was greeted by pajamas of all seasons, all in varying shades of purple. I stretched and patted the wall. “You spoil me, old girl,” I told the TARDIS. She hummed back happily.

 

I pulled the 1940s dress off, glad to finally be rid of the stiff cloth, and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Then, I was off to the kitchen, able to ignore my stomach no longer. The TARDIS didn’t need to give me directions; I could smell bacon frying as soon as I opened my bedroom door.

 

I ran all the way to the kitchen and threw the door open with far more enthusiasm than was anywhere near necessary. “Bacon!” I declared, running to the stove on the other side of the room. “I love bacon.”

 

“Well that’s good, considerin’ bacon is what I’m making for breakfast,” Rose Tyler said. I turned to see she was setting some mugs down on what I assumed was the very fancy dining table. Two of the mugs were patterned, one magenta and one dark blue. They were obviously Rose’s and the Doctor's mugs of choice. The other two, one purple and a lighter blue, were probably mine and Jack’s. Barebones, like my room. The TARDIS would make them more detailed, I guessed, when she’s gotten to know us better.

 

I smiled at the TARDIS’s affirmative hum. She was as sentimental as her pilot, it seemed.

 

“Just bacon?” I teased, snapping back to the present. Rose smiled with her tongue in her teeth.

 

“Oi, now you’re complain’?” she teased right back. “I thought you said you loved bacon.”

 

“Well, yeah, but you’ve got to have some variety. It’s breakfast! Most important meal of the day!” I teased. I threw open what I thought would be a cabinet, but was, apparently the fridge. Rose burst out laughing at me. “Wh-why is the door to the fridge made of wood?” Rose laughed even harder, bracing her hands on the table to keep from falling over.

 

I finally took that time to look around the kitchen. The whole place looked like an old-fashioned kitchen. Really old fashioned. Like, around 1600 old, just with various modern appliances scattered around. Even the table Rose was setting was more old than fancy. “I-” 

 

The kitchen actually confused me. Of all the things I’d seen in the last 24 hours, the damn kitchen confused me the most. “Why - why is the kitchen… like this?”

“Don’t know,” Rose said once she’d reigned in her laughter. “This is a new. I like it though, don’t you?” I swept the room with my eyes again. Between the definitely fancy appliances and definitely fancy wooden cabinets and countertops, it really should have been kinda distressing to look at. It should have created some sort of cognitive dissonance, yet, somehow, it all worked.  _ A bit like Eleven’s first outfit. Time Lord thing, I guess. _

 

“Yeah, I do. I shouldn’t, but I do.”

 

<...>

 

I ended up making scrambled eggs to go with Rose’s bacon, which she called me taking over making breakfast entirely. Although, when Jack finally showed up, he complained like I had and figured out the toaster. I had been too afraid to try the toaster. Rose had been laughing too hard at my rant about said toaster to show me how it worked.

 

After, we three humans just sat together and talked. Well, less talked and more were talked  _ at _ by Rose Tyler, who was all too happy to explain the TARDIS to us.

 

“-and the TARDIS gets in your head, translates alien languages and things,” Rose explained. 

 

“A telepathic ship,” Jack remarked, sounding impressed.

 

“She’s like this humming,” I said dreamily, closing my eyes. If I focused, I could sort of see a thread of TARDIS wrapped around my thoughts. “She’s kind of gold?” When I opened my eyes again, I found the other two humans staring at me like I’d grown a third eye. “What?”

 

I was saved from the awkward moment, for the first and last time, by the Doctor entering the room. Rose’s eyes snapped to him immediately, but Jack took a little longer to stop gaping at me. We all said our greetings, and I tried not to show how suddenly uncomfortable I was. 

 

I failed miserably, and to make matters worse, it took maybe a minute of conversation for Rose to bring up my TARDIS comments. “Doctor, Katelyn says she can feel the TARDIS in her head, but I can’t. How can she do that?” I wanted to disappear, but since I couldn’t, I just kept my eyes firmly fixed on my mug and tried to look small.

 

“Good question,” the Doctor praised. It heard him shift on his chair, and I knew without that he was facing me now. “Do you know?” 

 

As quietly as I could, I took a deep breath and finally looked up from my mug. Jack and Rose just looked honestly curious. The Doctor was very nearly unreadable, but I’d had some practice on Nine’s face. He knew the answer. He was testing me.

 

“In retrospect, I think I do,” I admitted. The Doctor’s posture softened ever so slightly. “I… I told you, Doctor, that I was an aggressively average human because, until about two minutes ago, I honestly believed that.” I smiled at the other humans. “I just kinda figured that was what the TARDIS was like in your head, but I guess I was wrong.” I turned back to the Doctor. “I’m uh, I’m telepathic, aren’t I?”

 

That got some reactions. Jack made an ‘oh’ sound, like it was an obvious solution he had missed. Rose gasped, clearly disagreeing that it was obvious. The Doctor straighten up a little in his seat.

 

“And based on how you reacted yesterday, I’d say you’re a very specific kind of telepath.” From his raised eyebrow, tone with just a hint of hope, and questions of my species yesterday, I could guess it was a Time Lord thing. And Time Lords were-

 

I groaned and slammed my head down on the dining table. “Please tell me I’m not a touch telepath,” I mumbled into the wood. 

 

“What’s wrong with being a touch telepath?” the Doctor complained. I lifted my head from the table, but his expression really was unreadable this time.

 

“Well absolutely nothing, unless, of course, you happen to be a very tactile person with absolutely no training in  _ how to telepathy _ ,” I groaned again and buried my face in my hands. “God only knows I’ll just take someone’s hand on instinct and- No, wait-” I lifted my head. “Hold on, I was doing that all yesterday, and I didn’t accidentally read anyone’s thoughts, just emotions. And I never touched Jamie, but I could read his emotions almost as soon as I stepped out of the TARDIS...”

 

I looked over to the Doctor in some desperate hope that he knew more about this than I did, but his expression still hadn’t shifted. He just stared at me, probably trying to read if I was acting or not. We were both silent for probably a full minute before Jack cleared his throat. 

 

“Right, well, Rose,” he started. “You were telling me the TARDIS has other rooms?” Jack stood quickly and pulled Rose up with him. “How about a tour?”

 

“Hold on,” Rose tried. The Doctor finally looked away from my face and smiled at her. 

 

“No, it’s a good idea. Go on then, we’ll be along later,” he said. Rose still looked like she didn’t want to leave, but when Jack tugged on her arm she went with him.

 

After another minute of silence, I couldn’t bear it anymore. “I could be a touch empath.”

 

“No,” the Doctor dismissed immediately. “An empath couldn’t connect to the TARDIS like you did.”

 

“Is she the one keeping me from accidently reading the thoughts of everyone I touch?” I tried. “I know she’s keeping my memories blocked.”

 

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Possibly. Which memories is the TARDIS blocking?”

 

“Not the ones your hoping for,” I admitted. The plots of every episode in series one were filtering practically on loop through my mind. “Personal stuff, like my mother’s name and where I went to school. That stuff-” I paused, but I couldn’t think of a word that accurately described what had happened to me when I saw my old dorm room last night. “-hurts.”

 

“Yeah, I noticed.”

 

Silenced settled in again. God, I forgotten that Nine didn’t have quite the gob that Ten and Eleven did. He did all his thinking in his head instead of out loud, which was annoying. I had to look down at my tea again.

 

“How can you not know your telepathic?” the Doctor finally asked. Oh, thank God. An easy question.

 

“I  _ wasn’t _ back home. I just thought I was remembering really well, or something,” I explained. “Also, like I said, I was only reading emotions, not thoughts. Why is that?” The Doctor took a deep, very annoyed, breath.

 

“Telepathy takes practice. It’s hard to read someone’s mind when you’re just holding their hand or hugging them, but emotions are easy enough to read even without telepathy, if you know what to look for.”

 

“Ok, that makes sense. I was feeling Jamie’s emotions without touching him-”

 

“Low level telepathic field all around him. It’s what let him om-com and why that room was bleeding his emotion,” the Doctor rushed. “Are you always going to be like this?”   


 

“Like what?” I snapped, my head turning toward him, anger finally blooming across my chest. Anger felt good, so I clung to it. “Curious, confused, and a little scared about a new ability I have? Yeah. If I suddenly woke up and knew how to play the damn tuba you can be sure I would question that too.” 

 

The Doctor opened his mouth to snark back, but never got the chance, because the door to the kitchen slammed open.

 

“Have you seen the liquor cabinet?” Jack Harkness shouted.

 

<...>

 

It being literally minutes after breakfast, I had no desire to raid said liquor cabinet with Jack, nor any desire to be in the room while the Doctor told Jack what he could and could not drink. Rose was nowhere to be found, so I took to wandering the TARDIS halls. 

 

She seemed to have taken to me much more than her thief had, seeing as every corner I turned lead me to increasingly unexpected and delightful rooms. 

 

The TARDIS started simple with the pool. It was probably the nicest pool I had ever seen, but I had no desire to swim, so it was on to the next.

 

The next room was the library, which was the biggest one I had ever had the pleasure to gaze upon. I probably could have spent weeks in that room alone, but something like excitement was buzzing through my mind from the TARDIS, so I spared a moment to inhale the smell of books then dashed out into the hallway again. 

 

Next, she showed me to a very boring, very quiet room. Or at least, it was a boring room, until I realized what the room was. The room, I realized, wasn’t quieter than anywhere else, but it was  _ quieter _ . “Oh, Zero Room. OK.” A buzzing sort of pressure I hadn’t even realized I was feeling was completely gone. “That is weird.” The feeling came back as soon as I stepped back out. “Cool. Next room!” 

 

That was a general media room, seperate from the library. The television in that room was probably the size of my bed. If I sat on one of the couches or chairs in the room and watched something, the actors would have been very nearly to scale with real life. A good room for relaxing in after an adventure, I decided, and dashed back out of the room.

 

For hours, I ran through the TARDIS hallways, laughing and delighted, only slowing to catch my breath at various points before taking off again. I saw several courts for various sports (which all looked nearly unused), got a quick glance at a laboratory, and a long look at an art gallery. I didn’t realize how much time I’d spent exploring until the door I opened lead me back into the kitchen. 

 

“I’m not-” my stomach growled before I could finish my sentence. “Ok, guess I am. Thanks.” Eager to get back to exploring, I just made myself a sandwich and downed a few glasses of water before walking back to the door.

 

The TARDIS apparently only had one room left she wanted to show me, as on the other side of the kitchen door wasn’t a corridor, but a garden. Well, less garden and more sprawling field of various wildflowers with grass paths between them. About what could generously be called halfway to the other side of the room, a stream almost big enough to be called a river cut across the landscape. The almost river was bracketed on either side by some kind of willow leaning over the water, providing shade. The branches hung low, however, making me think I could probably climb up and sit in the branches. 

 

Without really thinking, I stripped off my sweatpants and shirt and tore down toward the river. I hadn’t really wanted to swim when I’d seen the pool earlier, but now I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more than dive in. 

 

<...>

 

Rose Tyler thought she was well prepared by now for the craziness that came with traveling with the Doctor. She prided herself on how casually she could accept aliens and time travel and nanogenes and whatever. But things had changed  _ a lot _ in the last day-ish, more than Rose had prepared herself for.

 

Jack Harkness was fine. Well, he was  _ fine _ , but what Rose really meant was that he made sense. Jack fit into her admittedly bizarre understanding of the world. He had a backstory she could understand and sympathize with. He’d helped save the day, with no promise of living to see the next.  Yeah, he was an unstoppable flirt, but Rose was inclined to believe that he was a good man, whatever he may think of himself.

 

Katelyn Laurin was not fine. She seemed a sweet enough girl, but she just didn’t  _ fit _ . She’d just appeared in the control room. On the  _ TARDIS _ . She said she’d snapped her fingers and the doors just opened. The Doctor had said nothing could get through those doors without a key and, judging by how the Doctor how reacted, Katelyn did not have a key.

 

This morning, she’d come running into the kitchen, and Rose had thought maybe she’d been misreading the whole situation. Katelyn had been confused and bewildered by the TARDIS, like a human would be. She was just an ordinary human girl, and the mystery of how’d she’d gotten onto the TARDIS didn’t really matter, because she wasn’t a danger.

 

But then, she was a telepath, apparently. Like Gwyneth, the psychic girl from Cardiff. That was fine, that fit. It was a little weird, certainly not to be expected, but it  _ fit. _

 

And Katelyn had some sort of connection to the TARDIS. She certainly seemed to play favorites, so the idea that she would have a special connection with a telepathic newcomer.

 

Odd, but the Doctor had said the ship was sentient. 

 

_ The Doctor.  _ He’d hidden it fine from the “newbies”, but Rose could tell how much breakfast had shaken the Doctor, how much Katelyn had shaken the Doctor. If only he would talk to her, but when Rose had found him in the console room earlier, he’d just waved her off, telling her he needed to do immediate repairs. 

 

_ Fine,  _ Rose had thought stubbornly.  _ If one half of the problem’s gonna be a stubborn twat about it, I’ll just ask the other half.  _

 

That was how Rose found herself wandering previously unexplored corridors of the TARDIS, looking for Katelyn. After a few hours, and a stop in the kitchen for lunch, Rose found a corridor with just one door in it.

 

She was just about to push the access panel on the side to open it when the very person she’d been looking for nearly launched herself out of the door. Rose stumbled a few steps back out of shock, and stared. 

 

Katelyn’s brown hair was wet and matted to her face. Her clothes were mostly dry, with patches slowly soaking through around her chest and thighs. She had bits of mud patched on to her arms and was grinning like an absolute maniac.

 

“Rose!” Katelyn exclaimed, delighted. “What are you doing here?” It took a minute for the words to sink in. 

 

“I was - what were you doing?” Rose deflected. Katelyn stepped aside and gestured into the room. Rose looked at the sprawling field of what appeared to be wildflowers and a river in the distance.

 

“I was swimming,” Katelyn said simply. Rose blinked.

 

“You know there’s a swimming pool, yeah?”

 

“Yup. Saw it earlier. Wasn’t in the mood to swim then. Know what I’m in the mood for now?” she asked, still with that mad grin. 

 

It was probably a testament to how strange Rose’s life was now that that was her moment of sudden clarity. She had laughed in the face of death. She had thought quickly and saved them. She had slotted so well into the ‘team’ that Rose had just mentioned her completely unprompted to Jack. Katelyn Laurin reminded Rose of the Doctor, and the Doctor wasn’t always proud of who he was.

 

“What?” Rose indulged, like she would for the Time Lord. 

 

“A shower.” Katelyn stepped out of the room, patting the door, and went to slid by Rose. “We can talk after, since you clearly want to.” Well, that was different from the Doctor.

 

“Yeah, sure, how about the… I don’t know. The game room,” Rose offered. Katelyn nodded and ran a hand through her hair, scowling when her hand came away covered in river gunk.

 

“Might be awhile on that talk, Rose,” Katelyn apologized. “Not only do I want to take a  _ thorough  _ shower, I haven’t had any time to explore my ensuite.” She skipped, actually skipped, down the corridor. Rose watched her go, feeling somehow fond already. 

 

<...>

 

“Oh, hey, Jack.” Jack looked up and over to the door of the room. Katelyn stood in the doorway, hair dripping wet and dressed in new pajamas. She looked confused, as if  _ he  _ were the one intruding on  _ her  _ solitary.

 

“What are you doing here,” Jack managed to not slur. Katelyn strolled over to a cabinet, opened it, and gestured widely at the hundreds of decks of playing cards.

 

“Was gonna meet Rose for games and conversations,” she said. “Why was this your room of choice for getting drunk?”

 

“It was the room that would open,” Jack said from behind his latest glass of… something. He’d sort of stopped paying attention two shots ago. “Penny for your thoughts,” Katelyn looked over from the cabinet and offered him a small smile. He was not fooled for a second.

 

“I’ll take a shot instead,” Katelyn joked. She grabbed one of the decks of cards and walked over to where he was sitting on the floor. Jack just shrugged, pretending to take her request seriously, and poured whatever he’d been holding into one of the many shot glasses on the table. “I-I was kidding.”

 

“I’m not,” Jack said, pushing the shot closer. Katelyn eyed the glass with clear trepidation. “I want to hear those thoughts, and I just get a feeling this is a conversation you need to be drunk for.” 

 

“I-” Katelyn started, then snapped her mouth shut. “I was gonna say I’m not of legal drinking age, but I don’t think that exists on the TARDIS.” Jack nodded at the drink. Katelyn blushed a little. “I have to wait for Rose. I promised.”

 

“You have to Rose to take a shot?” Jack pressed. Really, he just wanted to see her reaction to what he’d just poured her, and drunk Jack was not a patient man. 

 

He watched her stare at the glass for a good long while, before she shrugged and downed the whole things with one toss. He would have been impressed if not for about a tenth of a second after. She coughed and sputtered a few times. He shouldn’t laugh. He did.

 

“Jack Harkness, what the  _ fuck _ did you just give me,” Katelyn demanded, through coughs. But, Jack was laughing too hard to even try to answer. He’d actually meant to get her to talk, but now he was having fun. Glaring, she snatched the bottle he’d set down. 

 

She stared angrily at the label. When she turned her glare to the ceiling, Jack could guess the letters stubbornly refused to translate. “Oh, I see, ganging up on me now are we?” 

“Who’s ganging up?” came Rose Tyler’s voice from the doorway. Jack was still laughing, although it was clear from Katelyn’s sour expression, she couldn't see how this could still be funny. 

 

Gasping more than he should have been, Jack told Rose what had happened. She laughed lightly, sat down next to Katelyn on the floor, and snatched up the bottle. “It’s just hypervodka,” Rose dismissed.

 

“Oh!” Katelyn said in mock relief. “Oh, of course! It’s just hypervodka! My bad!” Jack erupted into renewed laughter. Then Rose was laughing too, which was a bit unfair, Jack supposed. 

 

Katelyn had clearly had something important in mind to talk about, something he wanted to talk about, and here they were, making fun of the fact that she couldn’t take a shot. It was at that moment he realized he was maybe already too drunk to have that conversation. 

 

“That is the single most disgusting thing I have ever had the displeasure of tossing at my taste buds,” Katelyn continued, unprompted. “And I was once prescribed medication so gross I was told by a medical professional to take it with chocolate syrup.” 

But really, with an anecdote like that, what  was he supposed to do. Stop laughing?

 

<...>

 

A few hours later, halfway through a game of blackjack, one  _ very _ drunk Jack Harkness remembered why he’d offered me the shot in the first place.

 

“Cocktail for your thoughts?” Jack slurred, pushing a glass across the table to me. It was a light green color, with a stream of what looked like caramel still dissolving. “No hypervodka, I promise.” I glanced at Rose, who had put down her cards like she’d been waiting for this moment the whole time. 

 

I shuffled my own hand awkwardly. If it had just been the Captain and I in this room, I would have happily explained that I was pretty sure the Doctor wanted me literally anywhere but on the TARDIS. The Doctor hadn’t liked him at first either. Even as drunk as he was, he would understand. 

 

I had promised Rose this conversation, it was just that she was a bit of an unknown variable. I’m sure she would defend the Doctor, but I’m also sure that she wouldn’t tell me I was wrong. If anyone could read the Doctor, it was Rose Tyler. The question was, in the hours of today I’d spent exploring the TARDIS, had the Doctor explained me to Rose? Would she be just as put off, afraid even? Would she, in her infinite compassion, treat me exactly like she had treated the Doctor?

 

I took the drink and took a tiny sip.

 

It was really sour, tasted vaguely like apples, and burned a little on the way down. Nice. “I don’t think the Doctor likes me,” I said before I could regret it. Jack made a face that I immediately focused on instead of whatever Rose was doing.

 

“Oh what’s not to like, the plucky attitude, siding with me over him, could have been lying about knowing you’re a telepath-”

 

“Yes, thank you, Jack. That was exactly the reassurance I needed.”

 

“Not the best start, is all I’m saying.” Jack was remarkably elequient for a man spilling more on the table than he managed to pour in his glass. 

 

“Besides, the worst that could happen is the Doctor’d drop you back home,” Rose said earnestly. She smiled and grabbed my hand to reassure me, and she probably would have. “There was this one bloke-”

 

“I don’t have a home to go back to,” I admitted quietly, turning my head to Rose. Her smiled disappeared instantly, and she brought her other hand up to hold my one in both of hers. “I mean, physically, it’s still there, I assume, but I’m-” My voice cut off of its own accord. Jack, even drunk as he was, moved around the table and took my other hand. “I’m lost,” I managed, before the pain shut my voice off entirely.

 

Rose squeezed my hand and offered a small smile. “Well, guess we’ll just have to make sure you stay, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so late and still so short. I wasn't happy with any of the drafts of this chapter, and then I lost the whole weekend to school events. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading! See you next week.


	4. Four Month's New

_ I paced awkwardly backstage, truly unprepared for this. There was no script and I hadn’t had  _ any  _ time to study, but I guess it shouldn’t have been too hard.  _

 

_ “Are you ready?” the white haired woman wearing the headset asked. She was usually all smiles and encouragements, but it was showtime. Everyone knew Mrs. Fralik got testy around showtime.  _

 

_ I nodded numbly and walked with what was entirely false bravado onto the stage.  _

 

_ The lights were momentarily blinding, but then my eyes adjusted. The audience was all strangers, sad or angry eyes fixed on me. I had the feeling I should recognize at least one of the faces staring back at me, but I just didn’t.  _

 

_ I settled center stage, and promptly forgot what I was doing there. As if they could read my mind, the crowd immediately started booing and taunting me. _

 

_ “You can’t remember me?” my mother cried. _

 

_ “She can’t remember anything!”  _

 

_ “Of course you forgot me!” my favorite uncle shouted. _

 

_ “What about your life?” _

 

_ “How could you forget you purpose?” my drama teacher hissed from backstage. _

 

_ “She can’t even remember who she is!” Suddenly, there was someone standing in front of me, holding their arms out, protecting me from the crowd. I couldn’t remember anything about them, why they would want to protect me. “Why would see be able to remember us?” _

 

_ The voices rose to a cacophony so chaotic I could no longer pick out phrases or faces. I knew one thing. These were the people I’d loved, the people I had lost, the people I had left behind, and the people who had lost me. _

 

_ And I didn’t even have the decency to remember them. _

 

<...>

 

It was about a week after Katelyn appeared that the she came wandering into the console room while the Doctor was doing repairs. He heard her padding up the hallway long before looked. When he did look, he stuck just his head out of the grating, ready to scold her for not getting anywhere  _ near _ the eight hours of sleep humans needed. Then he actually saw her.

 

Katelyn was barefoot, in her pajamas, one of the many blankets from her bed held tightly around her shoulder like a cloak, like protection. Her hair was an absolute mess, and her face wasn’t much better, streaked with tears already shed. Her tired eyes drifted over the room, confused, like this was the last place she’d intended to be.

 

“Sorry,” she croaked. “I wasn’t aiming for the console room.” Her throat was scratchy when she spoke, either like she’d just woken up, or she’d just had a long cry. Or both.

 

“Where were you aiming for?” the Doctor asked, more quietly than he’d intended. He was starting to think his TARDIS’s soft spot for this particular (and dangerous) human was affecting him somehow.

 

“Nowhere really.” She was so tired, her eyes kept blinking closed. “Had a nightmare. Just wanted to wander.” The Doctor watched Katelyn with some amusement as she swayed under the weight of her exhaustion, before her words sank in.

 

“Nightmare?”

 

“‘S nothin’. Too tired to remember it now. I’m gonna go back to bed now.” She turned and left, stumbling a little on the way. The Doctor just shrugged and went back to his ‘important repair work, Rose’.

 

That first time, the Doctor didn’t notice, because he didn’t want to, how her voice wavered on ‘nightmare’ or how the TARDIS pinged in quiet worry or how Katelyn didn’t seem all there at breakfast the next day, like she hadn’t actually gone back to sleep. 

 

She’d recovered by lunchtime anyway. Otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to run fast enough to avoid getting arrested. Apparently on Qunain, Jack’s approach to greeting the locals was ‘inappropriate’ and ‘worthy of the death sentence’, which even the Doctor thought was just a bit harsh.

 

<...>

 

A week and a half after waking up in a different reality, while Jack and I were still adjusting to TARDIS time, I invited him into the Media Room.

 

“What’s this?” Jack asked. He walked over to his designated chair in the and flopped down. 

 

“Besides my latest attempt to work around a very strange case of jet lag-” I gestured to the show I had set up on the giant TV. “-Star Trek: The Original Series,” I told him, readjusting the popcorn bowl in my lap. “Because, as a friend, if I hear you confused about ‘Mr. Spock’ one more time I will drown myself in the pool.” 

 

Jack laughed and waved his hand in the way that was “play” on a telepathic ship. We settled in for a long night.

 

<...>

 

_ “Katie, Katie, look at the baby one!” My little brother tugged my hand harder, so I turned to look where he was pointing. _

 

_ In the giraffe enclosure was one creature half the size of the others. I gasped, delighted, and ran to get a closer look. I was sure I felt my little brother’s hand in mine as I watched the baby walk ever closer, but when I turned to talk to him, he was gone. _

 

_ The crowds towered over me, suddenly dark and faceless. I turned in desperate circles, but there was nothing and no one. “Mom?” The shadows grew even taller, looming and terrifying. “DAD?”  _

 

_ I ran through the shadows, getting nowhere, because there was no way home. I was so, so lost. Everything was the Void. The ground in front of me vanished and I fell- _

 

Right onto the Media Room floor. Jack jerked upright in his chair and looked over to me.

 

“Welcome back. You ok down there?” he asked, clearly amused.

 

“Bit bruised, but yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, taking off my glasses to rub my nose where they dug in. Jack turned more in his chair, putting the popcorn bowl he’d stolen onto the floor, and looked confused. 

 

“You’re crying,” he informed me. I reached up and touched my cheek. My finger’s came away wet and shaking. I sniffled.

 

“So I am. Was it a  _ really _ emotional episode?” I joked, still crying for some reason. Jack’s expression shifted from confused to genuinely worried.

 

“You fell asleep four episodes ago,” Jack said. 

 

“Oh,” I said quietly, wiping my cheeks with my sleeves. “It was probably just another nightmare. I don’t even remember it.” Jack looked skeptical, probably because I was still crying. “I’m not lying, Jack. I’ve had a lot of nightmares on the TARDIS; I can’t remember any of them.” “Oh,” I whispered, so quiet I was sure Jack couldn’t hear me. Like I couldn’t remember the things that hurt.

 

“If you say so,” Jack said with a shrug. “One more episode or…”

 

“Nah, I think I’m gonna head off to bed,” I dismissed with a fake yawn. “Night, Jack.”

 

“Night, Katie.” I flinched at the name, for some reason.

 

I trudged back to my room slowly.  _ Of course _ my nightmare were about my missing memories. How had I not thought of that before? They were the only two things I couldn’t seem to remember.

 

When I got to my room, I collapsed onto my bed, already knowing I wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night. That’s how these nightmares worked. I had them, I forgot them, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

 

<...>

 

“The thing about nightmares is you can never really remember why they scare you,” I sniffled. “You wake up, heart racing, but in the real world of your bedroom, suddenly giant snakes or being killed with pin needles seem silly.” I laughed bitterly. “Those were both real nightmares, by the way.”

 

I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked. “You might remember the nightmare for a few minutes, but then it’s gone. You’re blood stream is still flooded with adrenaline, and falling back asleep seems impossible, so you don’t, you don’t even try.”

 

It was waking up from another nightmare about the people I’d lost that finally made me snap. I hadn’t slept right in a nearly month, I couldn’t remember anything about home other than  _ this wasn’t it _ , and the only person who could help me didn’t seem to care.

 

I started crying in earnest again, frustrated that I couldn’t remember the nightmare, because I’d woken up screaming, but I wasn’t scared.

 

“I hate this,” I hissed to the empty air of my bedroom. “I hate that this is who I am now. I HATE BEING HERE!” I shouted. “I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!

 

“I HATE THAT I’M ALWAYS ANGRY OR SAD. I’m confused and  _ alone _ , and everything is  _ wrong _ . I hate that no one will help me. I hate that I can’t even REMEMBER enough to grieve.” 

 

The TARDIS hummed in pained sympathy, a faithful listener to my midnight rambles. I shifted on my bed and pressed my back to the TARDIS wall. 

 

“I know. It’s not your fault.” She’d tried letting tiny memories back in. She’d succeeded in several small ways. Now, I could remember the impersonal facts of my life, like the fact that’d I’d been a History major or that my favorite color was purple, but not much else. She’d tried to give me those other memories back too, but they always made me go… catatonic, for lack of a better word.

 

It annoyed the TARDIS almost to the point of anger, which was a bit sweet of her. She was easily my best friend in this world.

 

I sniffled a few more times before crawling out of bed and wrapping myself in a blanket. There was no point trying to sleep again. I’d just wander the TARDIS corridors until I could justify going to breakfast.

 

Three weeks in, that was my life. Nightmares, nearly every night, that allowed me three, sometimes four hours of sleep, then endless wandering the corridors. 

 

Sometimes, the TARDIS tried to force me into the room the Doctor was in, but that never got us anywhere, except making the TARDIS very annoyed (She’d often retaliate by landing us a planet or a century off from where the Doctor was planning.)

 

Also, I started passing out in the middle of shows or reading more often. Like the college student I used to be, I survived mainly off of caffeine and nihilism. It worked fairly well, all things considered. Nobody on Team TARDIS had really had a chance to get to know me before I’d gone into depressed mode. None of them questioned when that was 50% of my personality. 

 

I hated that that was who I had to be to survive. As a kid, I’d always thought life in a fictional world would be amazing. If you loved the world, you could live it so easily. And you’d get to meet your favorite characters, live your favorite plot points, rewrite the ones you hated. It was supposed to be wonderful. God only knows I’d spent enough time daydreaming.

 

I  _ loved _ Doctor Who. It had been a part of my life since I was 10 years old. I’d watched and rewatched every series so many times I’d almost felt guilty about it, like I was neglecting all the other potentially great shows just to watch a madman travel the universe in his blue box again and again and again. This should have been fun, or at least not completely miserable. 

 

That was the fun thing about daydreaming, I realized. Nothing ever went wrong when you controlled reality all on your own. And you could always wake up from a dream.

 

<...>

 

It was exactly a month after WWII and the empty child, when they got caught up in the Tynk rebellion of Calos Prime, that the Doctor was finally forced to confront his assumptions about Katelyn. He’d known from day one that she was kind and clever. It took until Calos for him to acknowledge that whatever he had thought was the third part of her personality was a mask so thorough that maybe she wasn’t even aware of it.

 

There on Calos Prime, sonic-less since he’d handed it to Rose, trapped in an abandoned storeroom, just the two of them, he first saw the mask shatter. 

 

“If we can just get this door open.” The door’s lock was electronic, but he’d jiggery-pokeried a battery to the door to fry the security panel. Then they could leave, get Rose and Jack, and get out. This whole rebellion was fixed; they couldn't help. “Katelyn give me the-” The Doctor flailed his arm behind him, but even after several seconds Katelyn hadn’t handed the Thing over. 

 

When the Doctor turned to just snatch the Thing instead, and found both no Thing and no Katelyn. He really did need that Thing, so he turned all the way around, and found Katelyn at the other side of the room, staring at her reflection in a floor length mirror. 

 

She was staring at herself with the kind of haunted expression humans usually reserved for seeing ghosts or similar. “Katelyn?” he asked. She reached a shaking hand out and brushed her fingers across the glass. A bit worried, the Doctor took a few tentative steps toward the young woman. She didn’t move; she barely seemed like she was breathing. “Katelyn?” The Doctor picked the Thing up from the ground as he passed it, but kept creeping toward her. “Kate-”

 

“That’s me,” she interrupted in a flat whisper.

 

“Uh, yes. Were you expecting someone-” 

 

Without warning, without preamble, Katelyn ripped her glasses off and whipped them across the room. They slammed into the opposing wall with enough force to shatter on impact. The Doctor only had enough time to look back and forth between the broken glasses and the human who had thrown them once before Katelyn punched the mirror in front of her. Seeing as how neither was she a heavyweight boxer, nor was the mirror sugar glass, the mirror only shook. 

 

“Katelyn!” She still didn’t seem to hear him and swung her fist at the mirror again. The Doctor reached forward with the hand not holding the Thing and caught her arm. He didn’t need her breaking her hand. “What are you doing?” he demanded. 

 

Katelyn turned away from the mirror and fell to the ground, retching her arm out of his grip, the haunted look not leaving her eyes. She didn’t, seemingly couldn’t, move. She seemed bizarrely calm, despite the fact that she was breathing at twice the rate that was normal for humans. He could hear her heart nearly beating itself out of her chest.

 

The Doctor reached out to touch her arm again and was immediately glad for the thick wool of her sweater. Without the barrier between their skin, the distress pouring off of her would have been like her screaming directly into his ear. As it was, her mind was only screaming in the same room as him. Not that that was much better, of course.

 

The Doctor snapped his hand back. Before he could even think of a way to help Katelyn, she blinked like a person snapping out of a trance. Her breathing evened almost immediately. “Sorry,” she shakily, standing up again. “Did you get the door open?” Except for her obvious exhaustion, she looked rather like nothing had happened at all.  

 

“No, I needed-” The Doctor held up the Thing. “What was that?”

 

“What was what?” Katelyn asked innocently. The Doctor only just barely refrained from rolling his eyes. That wasn’t even a  _ clever  _ diversion tactic. Although, the look of confusion on her face was very convincing. As was her continued silence following what he was starting to realize was not a diversion tactic. 

 

_ Oh.  _ She really didn’t know.

 

The Doctor opened his mouth to tell her, but there was a very rude explosion outside. He was immediately reminded that he had two other companions on this very dangerous planet, one of whom was prone to run toward the danger if it meant helping people. Knowing there were definitely people here to help, the Doctor begrudgingly snapped his mouth shut and went to work on the door. 

 

The sooner they were all back, safe, on the TARDIS, the better.

 

<...>

 

As soon as we were back in the TARDIS, ten seconds after the dematerialization sequence stopped trying to take the floor out from under us, Rose apparently saw fit to ask me where my glasses had gone. And because she was Rose, my grumbled “they broke” did not shut the conversation down the way I wanted it to.

 

To my surprise, it was the Doctor who came to my rescue. 

 

“I needed the glass to get a door open,” he explained lightly. “We got locked in one of the spice warehouses.”

 

I mouthed ‘thank you’ to the Doctor when I was sure Rose wouldn’t see. My anger, my grumbling, would be explained to her by now. To say the Doctor and I were often at odds would be an understatement. It was perfectly in character for me to be miffed he’d had to break something of mine, even if it was for a good cause.

 

With a wave and a begging off for exhaustion to the others, I disappeared down the hallway. My room would be a welcome reprieve from the interrogations I was getting from the other TARDIS occupants. It would also give  _ me  _ a chance to figure out what had happened on Calos Prime. 

 

It felt like what had happened back in that hospital in WWII. When I’d just needed to leave the Doctor as soon as I could. When I’d lost my touch with this reality and straight up forgotten where and when I was. 

 

That time, it had just happened. I couldn’t think of anything specific that would have triggered a ‘reality check’ like that. 

 

This time, there was a clear trigger. I’d been fine until I’d seen that mirror. Then I’d looked, seen my reflection, and had a full on existential crisis. I still looked the same as I had back home. It had been  _ devastating.  _

 

But why?

 

It should have been a comfort to see something so familiar. In fact, it usually was. The fact that the TARDIS library had a copy of my favorite book from back home had been what kept me sane the first few days. But my face just wasn’t a comfort.

 

“Bad idea time,” I muttered. I walked over to my wardrobe and rested my hand on the handle. “Can there be a mirror on the other side of this door when I open it?” The TARDIS hummed a very apprehensive yes. “Yeah, me too. Thanks anyway.”

 

I took a deep breath and threw the door open before I could second guess myself. I started shaking as soon as I caught my reflection, the same reflection I’d been looking at for 18 years. The same wavy brown hair still reached my shoulders; the same gray-blue eyes still stared back at me; the same round face covered in freckles were all still there.

 

I slammed the door shut and tried to just breath. This was _ wrong _ . This was different than how I’d felt last time. Last time I couldn’t look away, as much as I hated to look. This time, I couldn’t look at that reflection. I-I needed to look different. I needed to change what I looked like  _ right now. _

 

I ran over to my desk, scrambling for the pair of scissors I kept in a mug on top of the desk. I grabbed a clump of my hair and cut. It took a few tries to get the strands separated from the rest of my head.  _ It wasn’t enough _ . I grabbed more hair and cut again. And again. And again. And again.

 

That’s where Jack found me, half an hour later, still snipping what was left of my hair.

 

“Katelyn!” he cried. I stopped cutting and stared. He ran over and a ripped the scissors from my hand. “Katelyn what the hell are you doing?!”

 

“I couldn’t look like her anymore,” I sobbed. Jack threw the scissors across the room, away from me, like he thought I might start cutting again.

 

“Who’s she?” Jack asked gently. He ran his hand along the the side of my face. His fingers came away red. Oh, I was bleeding. I guess that was why he wanted to get the scissors away from me. “Nevermind. You’re bleeding. That’s more important.” Jack dashed over to the desk and just about tore lid off the nanogene’s jar. The tiny robots flew over immediately and healed the cuts to my skin. There wasn’t much they could do for my hair though. 

 

It was the gentle tickle of the nanogenes healing my cuts that finally actually snapped me back to normal. I crumbled to the ground immediately, covered my eyes, and started sobbing. Wordless, Jack pulled a blanket off my bed, draped it around my shoulder, sat down behind me, and pulled me into a tight hug.

 

I don’t know how long I sat there, sort of letting Jack comfort me. I only stopped crying when I had no more tears to shed. My sobs turned into hiccups which eventually just faded into nothing. Jack even gave me a few seconds after that before he spoke again. 

 

“Katelyn, what was that?” Jack asked, even more gently than last time. I got up to assess how bad my hair was now. Jack stood as well, keeping a bit closer to me than usual.

 

“I… that was…” I rested my hand on the wardrobe handle. I didn’t know how to  _ begin _ explaining my reality check to Jack Harkness without explaining what I was. And I was pretty sure I wasn’t allowed to do that. Easy lie then.

 

“I look a lot like my Mom,” I said. The Doctor was the only one who would know that was a lie. Or maybe it wasn’t a lie. Not like I would know. I pulled the wardrobe door open, but the mirror was gone. I sent the TARDIS a quick request for the mirror back, and was meet with the firmest no a telepathic time-ship was capable of. “I… There was a mirror here. I looked at my reflection and all I could see was her.” 

 

“OK,” Jack sounded confused, so I turned back around. He gave me this look like he knew I was withholding something, but couldn’t figure out what. “Why did that make you cut your hair violently?” I walked over to my desk and checked the jar. The nanogenes had all retreated back in, so I screwed the lid back on.

 

“I couldn’t look like her anymore,” I repeated, although I couldn’t be sure my mom was the ‘she’ I couldn’t stand to look like. “I just - It  _ hurts,  _ Jack. I can’t even start to move on when I still look like I did back home.” 

 

“Ok,” Jack sighed. I could tell he didn’t exactly agree with me, but he could at least follow my logic.

 

I, however, didn’t really follow  _ his _ logic when he pulled the chair out from my desk and gestured for me to sit down. “Jack?”

 

“You’re hair is a disaster,” he said bluntly. “As a friend, I’m not letting you leave this room until it’s fixed.” I sat down curiously, and Jack wasted no time in gathering the last long clumps and cutting them. I let him work in silence for a few moments before the burning question forced its way out of my mouth.

 

“Do you actually know what you’re doing?”

 

Jack had to good nature to laugh before he said “yes” in mock offense.

 

“Where and why?” I asked, delighted in this new information. Anything like that helped settle me in this reality.

 

“It’s basic Time Agent training,” Jack explained. “Gotta know how to cut your own hair in case you land somewhere without barbers. You gotta blend in.” It was my turn to laugh. 

 

“Jack Harkness, you are a 6-foot-tall, objectively attractive man who flirts with anything that appears sentient enough to consent. You have never ‘blended in’, and you never will.”

 

“You got me there,” Jack admitted.

 

Our conversation stayed similarly light, amazingly, for the next hour or so until Jack deemed my hair “as good as I can get it”. 

 

I ran my hands through my newly  _ very  _ short hair. I had never had hair this short; I’d never even  _ imagined  _ it this short.

That was good. Extreme change is what I needed now.

 

“Better?” Jack asked gently.

 

“More than I was expecting,” I admitted. I ran my hands from my hair down my face, cringing when I felt the crust of dried tears on cheeks. “Thank you.” I stood up and hugged Jack tightly. He hugged me back, but pulled away almost immediately. “What?”

“You smell like Calonese deep spice,” Jack complained. “As a friend, go take a shower.”

 

“Rude,” I teased, poking him in the chest. Jack gasped in mock offense, but backed away. “Alright then, get out of my room Harkness. Showering involves being naked, if you don’t remember.”

 

Jack waggled his eyebrows suggestively, which I rewarded by punching him in the shoulder and retreating into my ensuite.

 

The shower was already on and, I knew from experience, the perfect temperature. I stripped quickly and stepped in, letting the warm water wash away the last of the tension from the day.

 

<...>

 

Jack found Rose in the library, right where she said she’d be. She was sitting on one of the couches, chewing what was left of her thumbnail. Jack didn’t bother to greet her, instead just sitting on the couch next to her. 

 

“So?” Rose asked quietly. Jack sighed.

 

“You were right,” Jack conceded. “It’s definitely more than she’s telling us.” Jack explained, best he could, what he’d seen and heard from Katelyn. The frown Rose had been wearing from the start only got deeper as the story went on. 

 

“Something like this always happens when she and the Doctor get stuck alone,” Rose muttered, chewing on her nail again. “Even that first day. When we meet them in the hospital, she was all shaky.”

 

“Do you think the Doctor’s doing something?” Jack asked, slightly surprised Rose might be blaming the man for anything.

 

“‘Course not,” Rose snapped. “But there’s gotta be something with him that’s not with us. She never goes mental with us around.”

“I don’t know, Rose. Every time she falls asleep, she has those nightmares, and she always wakes up crying or screaming, but she never tells me why.” Rose groaned. “Which I know I’ve told you before, it’s just-”

“We have to do something!” Rose finished for him, throwing her arms up dramatically. Jack sighed his agreement.

“What can we do?” Jack asked.

“Keep her away from the Doctor,” Rose answered. “And I can’t believe I just said that.”

 

<...>

 

When my shower was done, and I was finally willing to step out from under the perpetually, perfectly hot water, I was surprised to see a small mirror above the sink. It was completely fogged up, so I couldn’t see anything, but it was still there. I got the message even before the TARDIS’s hum picked up in volume.

 

I could do this.

 

I toweled my hair dry quickly, slid on the new glasses the TARDIS had put on the counter, took a deep breath, and wiped the steam off the mirror.

 

What had always manifested in waves when my hair was long and heavy had turned into full on curls with my hair pixie-cut short. My face looked even rounder without hair framing it. Added with the thin rimmed but wide lensed glasses the TARDIS had provided, I looked the part of a librarian in some late 90s movie about a ragtag group of high schoolers. It was a good look, I decided quickly. I liked it.

 

I walked back into my bedroom, fully intending to find a new outfit and maybe thank Jack again or something, but one look at my bed and all I could think about was sleep. I had just enough energy to pull on pajamas and bury myself under the blankets before I passed out.

 

For the first time in a month, I slept through the whole night, or at least what counted as night on the TARDIS, and when I woke up, I remembered something important:

 

How to grieve. 

 

Everything got so much better after that. I settled into remembering how to grieve. Some memories still stole the breath from my lungs and sent me into a full mental shut-down, but at least I still remembered why after I had recovered. I could think about why that hurt, adjust, and work through it. 

 

I was able to remember, for starters, that I actually  _ did  _ look a lot like my mother, and that was probably why I wanted to cut my hair. I was able to remember that I got my freckles from my dad and my snark from my childhood best friend. I had a little brother who thought I’d hung the moon, who looked like my dad miniaturized. 

 

More on accident than anything else, Jack got to know me almost as well as I knew myself over the second two of my first three months. Not surprising, seeing as how I had lived in a non-TARDIS apartment with him for one of those months. And, once we’d learned that we both actually greatly enjoyed  _ Star Trek: The Original Series _ , we spent a decent amount of our down time with a monopoly on the Media Room. In the whirlwind of our lives on the TARDIS, we fell asleep on our respective couches very frequently. Nightmares still woke me up fairly frequently, and, since Jack never stopped asking what they were about, I started telling him.

 

It was nice to have a Non-TARDIS ally and friend in this world. 

 

<...>

 

“C’mon.” Rose tugged my hand again, but I stayed firmly rooted on my desk chair. 

 

“Rose, there are few things I would like to do less than go to a bar with you and your friends.” Rose gave me a pout that I knew was a fake. “It’s just not my scene, sitting around with people I barely know. Back home, I only ever went to parties my best friend hosted, and even then I hid in the corner and played on my phone.”

 

“Played on your phone?” Rose asked, probably to distract me.

 

“Opps. 2005, right? Give it a few years,” I dismissed, then went back to trying to build a Lego monument I’d picked up a few days ago from the Cultural History Museum of the first Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It would go nicely on my shelf next to the guide book I’d also picked up at that museum. “And I’m not going, Rose.”

 

“Come on. Leave the TARDIS for once-”

 

“Rose, we went to the sun festival on Contraxis IV yesterday.”

 

“-Get some Earth air in your lungs-”

 

“I just spent a month on Earth with Jack helping a Neanderthal adjust to 21st century life.”

 

“-We’ll have a girl’s night-”

 

“Rose, there is nothing you can say to make me go.”

 

<...>

 

The music was loud, the people were rude, and I didn’t feel quite alone enough even shoved in a booth in the back corner. I hated being here, hated it with every fiber of my being, but Rose was having the time of her life with her friends, Jack had disappeared with a guy 20 minutes ago, and I couldn’t very well leave without at least one of them. 

 

_ Well,  _ the other part of my brain argued.  _ You could leave, but even now, just shy of you third month here, the Doctor still hasn’t  given you a TARDIS key. _

 

I got the message pretty clearly, not that it was a hard message to get. I was not to be trusted on my own. I needed a chaperone at all times, and not giving me a key was an easy way to do it. I didn’t doubt the TARDIS would open the doors for me, key or no, if it really mattered, but the Doctor didn’t need to know that.

I looked over to where Rose, extensively my chaperone for the night, was laughing happily with her friends and sighed. I didn’t know why she and Jack kept doing this. Every time there was a hint of a chance I would be left alone with the Doctor, one of them would pull me away. Jack would say he wanted to finish the episode we’d fallen asleep on, or Rose would call for ‘girl time’ and pull me to the pool.

 

Their reasons had never been particularly strong, but they were getting extremely flimsy as of late and especially tonight. Rose very well knew I hated anything that even resembled a party. She’d seen my panic the one time she’d convinced the Doctor to take us to a fancy ball on Wherever.

 

(I generally tried to remember the name of every planet we stopped off on, but I’d been a bit busy trying to remember how to breath to really listen to the Doctor’s explanation about the planet and the ball.)

 

“Hello, love.” I turned away from watching Rose. Lost in my musings as I was, I hadn’t noticed the man sliding into the booth across from me until he’d spoken. Even from across the table I could smell the alcohol on him. I resisted the urge to sigh tiredly only through  _ great _ effort. Just when I thought my night was at its worst. 

 

“Listen friend,” I sighed. “I just want to be alone. Literally anyone else in this bar would be a better person to flirt with tonight.” 

“Ooo, American,” he practically purred. A dalek could have come through the bar door and shot me, and it would have improved my night. “That accent’s gonna do me right in, it is.”

 

I stood up quickly, deciding that moping in front of the TARDIS doors or out on the streets sounded better than moping in here. “Yeah, my accent’s not gonna do shit for you, buddy.” I patted the table as I stood, but made no move that could even be tangentially interpreted as flirting. “I’d suggest going home, because I don’t even need a breathalyzer to know that your blood-alcohol level is above the legal limit.”

 

Thankfully, as I walked away from the table and out of the bar, the man took my rejection at face value and didn’t follow me. I glanced back as I was leaving and saw him sidle up to a different woman sitting in the next booth.

 

I waited until I’d been walking for a few minutes before texting Rose, telling her I was going back to the TARDIS, but to enjoy her night. I hoped she wouldn’t follow me.

 

<...>

 

The TARDIS was only a few minutes walk away from the bar, so I looped around the block a few times, hands in my pockets. It was a bit chilly, although I had no other idea when the Doctor had landed us. He hadn’t really said, just gestured out the door and climbed under the console to tinker. 

 

I knew it was London, 21st century, pre-2007, but I didn’t know London and I didn’t remember 2006 so it was a toss up whether I was safe or not. I didn’t think the Doctor would let Rose out of his sight anywhere that was intentionally dangerous, but London was a big city at night, so one could never really know. 

 

It was on my third loop around that I noticed something weird. There was a shop that was still open, even this late at night. Curious, I ducked in.

 

Immediately, I realized it was an antique shop. It was mostly empty, like it had either just opened or was about to close, but it was still clearly an antique shop. They just have this feeling when you walk into them, like history is jumping out under your fingers, demanding to be recognized. The ordinary history of everyday lives lived by everyday people, but no less important than the history taught in classes. 

 

I picked up a book, some collection of poetry, and thumbed through it. Then, I sneezed, because there was a lot of dust in that book. Behind me, someone giggled. I jumped and turned around and found an older woman smiling at me, hand held over her mouth. Her white hair was piled up in an intricate bun on top of her head. Her brown eyes were warm with mischief. She looked remarkably alive for her age.

 

I must have been staring, because the woman dropped her hand with a sheepish look.

 

“Oh, I am sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to scare you,” the woman spoke with a thick New York accent. When she smiled, her whole face crinkled, and her eyes lit up with enthusiastic joy. “You’re just adorable. You sneeze like a kitten!” she very nearly squealed. I tried not to stare at her. 

 

“S-sorry.” Why had I said that? “I mean, it’s fine. I was just-” I put the book down. “I was just browsing a bit. Why are you still open? It’s really late.” 

 

“It’s best to keep late hours, I find,” the woman said cheerfully. “Well, one never knows when a bright young woman will wander in.” I blushed a little. The woman looked me up and down once in a way that should have been a bit creepy, but I just felt so comfortable around her that it didn’t bother me. It was confusing, however, that when she locked eyes with me again, hers were misty.

 

“Are you alright?” I asked, worried. She waved her hand dismissively.

 

“Quite. A bit lonely perhaps.” She got a faraway look in her eyes. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen my family,” she whispered. My heart hurt for her.

“Me too, actually,” I admitted. The woman walked over to a nearby chair, sat down, and patted the chair next to her.

 

“Would you like to talk about it, dear?” she asked gently, in the way only someone who understands loss can.

 

“No,” I said. I really didn’t fancy having a reality check in this poor woman’s antique shop. “No, I would not.” Without another word, I walked over and sat down. “Would you?” She laughed, then sobered immediately. She suddenly looked a million miles away and a hundred years old.

 

“I miss them,” she said quietly. “It’s my fault that we got separated, although I don’t regret what I did.”

 

“How very enigmatic of you,” I responded with just a hint of sarcasm. The store was silent for a moment. “Do you think you’ll ever see them again?”

 

“Yes,” she breathed, relief and joy radiating off her. “I expect I’ll see them quite soon, actually.” She was smiling like she’d just told a joke. “What about you?” I laughed bitterly.

 

“Oh, I don’t think I have a cat’s chance in hell of ever seeing them again. They’re… I’m…”

 

“A long way from home?” the woman offered. 

 

“How’d you know?” I asked, throat too tight to speak very loudly. 

 

“Your accent, of course.” There was that sparkle again. “I’ve got something for that.” The woman stood quickly, with far more grace than I expected from someone her age, and walked over to a counter. I stood and followed.

 

The counter was covered in jewelry. Most of it was garish, and rather ugly, because that’s what people sold to antique shops. The things they no longer wanted. 

 

The woman rummaged around in a box for a bit, then laughed and pulled out a long silver chain with a large oval locket on the end. It was beautiful, ornately carved in a way that looked like how constellations are displayed in children’s encyclopedias. It was also remarkable untarnished for how old it looked. The woman regarded it fondly for a moment before placing it in my hand.

 

“I… um. Thank you, but I don’t have any money,” I said, although I already didn’t want to give the locket back. I was taken with the piece of jewelry already. 

 

“Consider it gift then.” The woman reached out and closed my hand around the locket. “Put a picture of your family in it, so you can remember them even this far from home.” Her eyes sparkled with such kindness, that I didn’t have the heart to correct her.

 

Although, I thought as I turned the the locket over in my hand a few times, maybe I could still use it somewhat like she suggested, even if it would never hold a picture of the family I’d left behind. If I left it empty, and wore it anyway, it could server as a reminder that I was alone in this world, a physical manifestation of my grief. 

 

My phone rang in my pocket, reminding me that a world existed outside of this strange little antique shop with it’s equally strange owner. I mumbled an apology to the woman and pulled my phone out. Rose was calling, and that meant I had to answer.

 

“Hello, Rosie,” I sing-songed, hoping that would hide all the other emotions running through me. “What’s up?”   


 

“Where are you?” Rose nearly shrieked. I yanked the phone away from my ear. “The Doctor nearly took off without you!” My stomach dropped.

 

“I was - I’ll tell you when I get there. I’m on my way.” I shoved my phone back into my pocket and turned to say goodbye to the woman, but she was gone. “Ah…” I spun in a complete circle, but found nothing but the nearly empty antique store. “Um…” I walked to the door slowly, thinking maybe she might pop back out if I just moved slowly enough. When I made it halfway out the door without her reappearing, I realized she wasn’t going to. “Goodbye!” I called back into the store and starting running toward the TARDIS, afraid of staying here much longer lest the Doctor  _ actually _ take off without me.

 

<...>

 

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of adventure after exhausting adventure and, before I knew it, I was halfway through my third month in the Whoniverse (and I am never saying that again), the only moment of note being on a trip to Ancient Rome. A trip on which I had to remind Jack that flirting with a Vestal Virgin was an offense punishable by execution without trial.

 

“How could you know that?” Jack had asked, amused. “I can barely remember that and I was trained for this.”

 

I had blushed, vaguely embarrassed that I apparently knew more about history than an ex-Time Agent. “It was my major in college, back home. Only got a year into it, but you know.” The Doctor had shot me a look.

 

“What was your minor?” he had asked. I had mumbled it too quietly for even a Time Lord to hear. His mouth had twitched toward a smile, which meant I’d finally been found out. “What was that?”

 

“Anthropology,” I had mumbled.

 

“And if you’d gone to Graduate school-” the Doctor had started, cheeky.

 

“I would have gotten a doctorate in Archaeology,” I bit out before the Doctor could finish. “In my defense, I didn’t think time travel existed.”

 

I was expecting him to go to town teasing me with that information. I mean, Jack and Rose were already hiding smiles. The Doctor's… distaste, to put it mildly, for archaeologists was well known to all of us at that point, and we usually all had fun watching him blow up at documentaries. 

 

To all of our shock, the Doctor said nothing about the fact that I had wanted to be the single most embarrassing job for a time traveler. He just shook his head at me and moved on, resuming his lecture about Roman architecture that I was the only one really listening to. 

 

The Doctor brought it up a few times over the weeks, but only during the lighter moments, like when he was calling all humans apes or telling Jack to maybe tone it down a bit. It had me hopeful, properly hopeful, for the first time. Maybe the Doctor wasn’t afraid of me anymore.

 

By the end of my third month, I felt like a real companion. Jack and I had essentially equal standing on the TARDIS. I still hadn’t been given a key, but at that point I figured it was more forgetfulness than malice. It was either that we hadn’t really sat still long enough for him to fish out a fourth key from wherever he kept them, or I just hadn’t really needed one yet. It was rare for me to get separated from the group. It stopped worrying me.

 

Then, at month four, everything went to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beyond sorry this chapter took so long to come out. It was a bitch to write and school has also slammed me recently. Anyway, thanks for sticking with it! The next chapter is already mostly written, so this shouldn’t happen again… for a while. See you next week!


	5. 9-13-2006

DISCLAIMER: I have never been to London. Any inaccurate descriptions of the city can be chalked up to the the fact that I am a broke ass college students who cannot afford to travel. Sorry and thank you.

  
  


Four months to the day of me joining this world, I woke up from sleep feeling undeservedly anxious. I had no real reason to be, as far as I could think. 

 

Sure, it had only been a week since I’d been Kidnapped, threatened, and nearly killed by a group of rogue Sernox hellbent on using my telepathy to finish building their planet-wide mind control machine, but that was done and over with. The Doctor had saved me, the Sernox were completely in the custody of the Shadow Proclamation, and I was currently as safe as one could get in my bedroom on the TARDIS. 

 

In fact, the kidnapping by the Sernox had actually had a small benefit, in that I’d had plenty of time to figure out how to block people from getting a hold of my telepathy. I was fairly confident that I had the mental defense of a champion, as evidenced by the fact that the Sernox  _ hadn’t gotten shit  _ from me in the week that they’d had me.

 

It had, of course, also had the negative effects of emotional trauma and the complete and utter destruction of my tentative ‘friendship’ with the Doctor, but one has to try and look at the positives in such situations. 

 

I paced around my room for a bit, but the anxious feeling didn’t go away. Not a nightmare then; nightmares faded. To kill time while I was thinking, I brushed my teeth, finger combed my hair, and got dressed, locket included. Since by the time I was done with all that I still hadn’t figured out way I was a ball of anxiety (well, more anxiety than usual anyway), I decided to ask the TARDIS. She had a tendency to know things.

 

“What day is it?” I asked, staring the pacing again. The TARDIS hummed back weakly. While not an answer to my question, that was new. I stopped pacing. “Are you ok?” She hummed an affirmative, but still sounded… tired, for lack of a better word.

 

That was when it hit me. The show had never said how long it was between  _ The Doctor Dances  _ and  _ Boom Town.  _ At least, it hadn’t in any source I’d ever found. I guess it had been four months.

 

One thing I did know, for absolute certain, if this was indeed the day before  _ Boom Town,  _ was that this was my last chance to give Nine a longer time in the realm of the living. After Cardiff, we’d have one adventure, and then it was the transmat to the Game Station and a Dalek fleet approaching earth and  _ The Parting of the Ways  _ to  _ Born Again _ .

 

I was halfway to the console room before I was even aware that my feet were moving.

 

When I got to the last corridor, I waited in the hallway for a full minute, just watching. This was a terrible idea. I could feel it in my bones that this was a terrible idea, but I had to do it. I had to do  _ something  _ or I’d never be able to live with the guilt. I squared my shoulders, fake it ‘til you make and all that, and took the last few steps into the console room.

 

“Don’t stop to refuel yet.” I spoke quietly, but the Doctor still jumped from where he was under the console. I wasn’t particularly surprised. Damn near everything I did seemed to scare the man since my slip during my rescue from the Sernox. 

 

“Why not?” He almost sounded disinterested, but I was smarter than that. He’d stopped tinkering, after all.

 

“You… don’t… need… to,” I tried. Given the TARDIS’s behavior earlier, I didn’t even convince myself. The Doctor popped up from where he was doing god knows what under the console.

 

“Why not?” he insisted. I bit my lip.

 

“I can’t tell you.”

 

“Meaning-” The Doctor climbed up and replaced the grating. “You’re trying to change an event on my personal timeline.” He crossed his arms over his chest, defensive.

 

“Not change,” I argued. “Just… move. Delay, if you will.” The Doctor stepped toward me, never uncrossing his arms. “Shift, if you… won’t.” He stopped maybe an inch away from me.

 

“I’m not going to do that.” I had to lean back to look him in the face. Damn my 5’2” status.

 

“But-”

 

“No. We need to refuel.”

 

“But, if you just-”

 

“I’m going to Cardiff to refuel.”

 

“Doctor, just-” I was raising my voice. I didn’t want to raise my voice. Why was I doing that? 

 

“I will not have us stranded in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of nowhen, because you want to  _ shift _ my personal timeline.” He wasn’t shouting, exactly, but I could see the Oncoming Storm brewing in his eyes. As if that settled it, he backed away and went back to the console.

 

“Can’t you just listen to me for once!” I was shouting, my voice shaking. “I’m trying to help you!” A tiny part of brain registered that the shouting was bad. The rest of my brain was focused on trying not to cry, because that would definitely be bad. This argument needed logic over emotions.

 

“Why would I listen to advice when you can’t even tell me why?” The sadness that had originally fueled me to come in here and change his course was replaced with anger.

 

“People listen to you without reason every other day,” I argued in a mumble. The Doctor scowled, so that had  _ definitely _ been the wrong thing to say. “You  _ know _ I can’t tell you your personal future. You tell me that all the time!”

 

“I don’t-”

 

“It’s 50% of every conversation we’ve ever had!” The Doctor turned away from me, and started pressing buttons on the console. “It’s like ‘Hello, Katelyn, thanks for making breakfast, by the way, never tell me any of the things you know about my future’!” I clenched my hands into fists at my side. 

 

“You don’t always listen!” The Doctor flipped a lever with far more force than necessary.

 

“Name one time-”

 

“What’s Canary Wharf?” He almost sounded calm again. Dread settled like a stone in my stomach, but it didn’t replace the anger I felt. Of course he’d fixate on my one slip up, on the very thing that had gotten us to this point in the first place.

 

When the Doctor had finally gotten to me in the Sernox ship, I was exhausted, hungry, and pretty certain I was going to end up dead in the next few minutes. It had been an easy slip, the first thing I could think of to help the Doctor. And Rose, since she was also someone I liked. 

 

“That was an accident! I thought I was going to die-”

 

“So you wanted to warn me-”

 

“I wanted to save-” I slapped my hand over my mouth to try, foolishly to keep to situation from going from ‘terrible’ to ‘unsalvageable’. When the Doctor’s glare only intensified, I realized with a few skipped heartbeats that we might already be at ‘unsalvageable’.

 

“You wanted your last words to rip a hole in space-time!” he spat, still poking at the console.   
  


“Canary Wharf might not be a fixed point! I just-” The Doctor looked at me with barely disguised fear under his anger.

 

“You just want to rewrite my life?”

 

“NO!” I screamed, emotion finally overruling logic. “WHY DO YOU HATE ME?” At the volume I screamed that, it was impossible to hide the shaking in my voice. Tears were blurring my vision, so I couldn’t read the Doctor’s face anymore. Not that I could ever really read him. “WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MAKE YOU SO AFRAID OF ME?”

 

The Doctor threw on last lever, and the TARDIS landed with a thud. I hadn’t noticed he’d been actually piloting. He didn’t look up from the console, didn’t even lift his hands. “If you don’t already know, you’re not safe on my TARDIS.” He gestured to the door with his head. “Out.” My heart stopped. No. No. Not this. Anything but this. 

 

“Doctor-” I croaked, suddenly desperate to salvage the situation, anyway I could.

 

“Out,” he said with more force. My heart shattered in my chest, and a strange numb feeling spread through my veins. I took a few shallow breaths, forced my tone calm, and managed to speak around the lump in my throat, something that I found a little too easy when I was broken. Grief was a feeling I was rather used to, after all.

 

“Ok,” I whispered. “Fine. Ok then. I’ll… I’ll go pack a bag.” I didn’t, couldn’t look at the Doctor’s face, so I kept my eyes firmly on my bare feet as I stalked back to my bedroom. 

 

My room was nice and warm, much warmer than usual, probably the TARDIS’s way of telling me not to leave. I had to ignore it, grabbing my backpack from where it hung next to the door and walking over to my dresser. My emotions shut down when I went into ‘packing mode’, finely honed from years of family trips and being to lazy to pack anything until the night before. It served me and the others pretty well when we’d accidentally get trapped on a planet-

 

Right, I didn’t need to worry about that anymore.

 

I managed to fit way more than I should have in the backpack, probably enough clothes to last me a week or so before I’d need to find a laundromat. I threw together a toiletry bag, trying very hard not to think about brushing my teeth in a public bathroom. Maybe I could guilt the Doctor into giving my enough money to stay in a hotel for a day or two. 

 

Then again, that would require actually speaking to the Time Lord, something I never planned to do again.

 

I slung the backpack over my shoulders and took one last look at my bedroom. I spotted the jar of nanogenes on my desk. I was halfway to picking them up when I paused. Not like I could really use them anyway. 

 

I walked to the door and pressed my forehead to the wall for the last time. “Do me a favor, old girl?” I asked quietly. She hummed a little louder. “Never let any of them into my room. Let Jack and Rose forget me. Never let the others know I even existed.” I blinked, and the door was gone. I patted the wall in thanks, my voice gone, and dragged myself back to the control room. 

 

I just kept walking until I was at the doors. It took a lot longer than it did the first time that day, another sign the TARDIS didn’t want me to leave. Still, she let me.

 

When I got to the console room, I didn’t look at him. I wouldn’t. I could tell he wasn’t, wouldn’t be, looking at me. I hesitated with the door half open, just for a second, wondering if he’d at least give me the courtesy of telling me which planet he’d dropped me on and/or which century he’d dropped me in, but he said nothing. I bit back hundreds of bitter retorts and left.

 

As soon as I was outside, I ran. I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing the TARDIS whoosh and groan away for the last time. I ran and ran and ran, until the sheer sorrow of what I was running from threatened to take my legs out from under me. I stopped, simply because I had to, and dropped to the ground under a tree. 

 

When I took a second to look around, it looked like I was in a park. The tree I was sitting under looked like some species of oak tree, so I decided that I was on Earth, probably. I had to, for the sake of my sanity. The skyline of the city I could see off in the distance to my left, however, was unfamiliar. Not that I had actually seen the skyline of every city or even most cities on Earth. 

“Well, at least he dropped me somewhere pretty,” I said to the air, far too used to having someone to respond. Another sweeping look around revealed no people. “And empty.” I reached up to play with the locket around my neck. “Good one, Doctor.”

 

I sat there for a God only knows how long, just wallowing, too…  _ everything _ to even cry. I had nothing now. No family, no friends, no home, no future, no hope. I was as empty as my locket. That was the damn point of the locket. The Doctor didn’t know that, of course, but he’d still dumped me out into wherever and whenever without so much as a goodbye.

 

Well, the Doctor does hate goodbyes. And me, it would seem. 

 

What finally startled me out of my funk was a pressure at the base of my skull. I reached to touch it, but there was nothing there, which left only the terrifying possibility that someone or something telepathic was trying to track me. The terrifying thought that some faction of the Sernox had found me again flashed through my mind. I tried to throw up some mental walls, but I could only give half a thought to running before the pressure settled into the telepathic equivalent of holding my hand, which was confusing enough to convince me not to. That was decidedly  _ not  _ a Sernox strategy. They’d been a bit more hands-on.

 

It was only a minute, at most, before the presence pulled away in favor of pounding footsteps in my direction. I looked up and saw a blond woman, a little over five and half feet tall, with a white coat billowing behind her, running toward me. I blinked a few times just to be sure that was really what I was seeing. I stood up quickly with half a mind to run, but then she was on me, wrapping me in a hug and spinning me around.

 

“D-Doctor?” I asked, too stunned to do anything.

 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping me and cupping my face. “I told you I was going to-” The stupid wide smile faded from her face. She just looked at me for a long time, before that ‘mystery to solve’ frown settled. “How old are you?” she asked quietly.

 

“I- 18?” I breathed. She let go of my face, turned around and dug in her coat for something. “Doctor?” I heard rustling paper. She took a deep breath, and turned back around.

 

“Are you ok?” she asked, reaching for my face again. I backed away.

 

“No, of course I’m - I-I don’t understand.” I nearly choked on the words as tears filled my eyes. God, I was so confused. She - he  - had just dumped me, forever, in a place and time that he hadn’t even told me about. Why was she acting like we were best friends? The Doctor took a cautious step toward me, as if I might run if she got too close too quickly, which I honestly might have. “What’s going on? Where am I? When am-” 

 

The weight of everything that had happened came crashing down on me all at once. I would have fallen over if the Doctor hadn’t surged forward and caught me. Not really able to think straight anymore, I clung to the back of her coat and sobbed into her shirt. I was dimly aware of her moving us down to the ground, pulling me into her lap, and wrapping me in a tight hug. I knew she was talking to me, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a tiny voice told me she was speaking Gallifreyan if it wasn’t being translated. It was pretty, that lost language.

 

Halfway through pouring out my soul through my eyes, I heard more footsteps, and the Doctor talking to other people in a distinctly non-Gallifreyan language. 

 

Eventually, all my tears were spent, and I came back to reality. The Doctor had one arm firmly around my waist, and one on the back of my head, holding me to her. “Better?” she asked quietly.

 

I hiccuped and sniffled a few times before I could speak. “Yeah, a bit,” I managed through a dry throat. “But-but I’m still really confused. Wh-what are you doing here?” She smiled down at me fondly, which didn’t help the confusion, then smiled over my head. I followed and saw three people that I vaguely recognized as Thirteen’s companions. 

 

“We were going shopping,” she said cheerfully.

 

“Yeah, and sorry to interrupt,” the younger of the two men, Ryan, I think, said. “But could we still do that? If we’re going to an ice planet, we’ll need coats and stuff.”

 

“But the wardrobe-” I started.

 

“Shopping, yes!” The Doctor jumped up, forgetting I was in her lap. I tumbled onto the ground, hard. “Oo, sorry.”

 

“Not the worst thing you’ve done to me today.” I winced as soon as I said it, but the Doctor didn’t look in the least bit offended. She offered me her hands, then helped me to my feet. 

 

“Shopping!” she declared again, pulling me away from the tree. I had just enough time to grab my backpack. “Right, ATM. We need money.” 

 

“Why were you in a park if you were going shopping?” I asked, just to focus on something that wasn’t the ache of loss in my chest or the buzzing of confusion in my head. 

 

“We kept asking her the same thing!” the girl, Yaz?, shouted. 

 

“I wasn’t aiming for the park,” The Doctor answered both of us, still running. “The TARDIS bumped the coordinates… Again.” 

 

She didn’t let go of my hand until we ran out of the park and up to what I could only assume was an ATM. Panting, I watched her sonic the machine with practiced efficiency, and a truly absurd amount of bills slide into the payout. With excited speed, she separated the pile into four smaller ones and passed three of them to her companions. “Right then, off you go. Back to the TARDIS before sundown.” They turned and walked away as soon as the Doctor was done talking. She pocketed the last stack and held her hand out to me.

 

“I - What?” My brain was having trouble forming coherent thoughts. It was almost harder while the other humans were walking away. “Where are we going?” Apparently too impatient to explain, the Doctor took my hand and started pulling me in some direction.

 

“We’re going shopping, weren’t you listening?” I dug my heels into the pavement.

 

“No,” I said as strongly as I could. “No, you need to explain to me what the  _ hell _ is going on before I’m going anywhere with you.”

 

When the Doctor turned around to look at me again, I could see the weight of the thousands of years of life in her eyes. It startled me how quickly she’d shifted, how open she’d decided to be, so suddenly and completely. She grabbed my other hand.

 

“What’s going on is you have so little in this universe. This morning, you lost even the few things you thought you’d had, because some daft man in a box was afraid of you,” the Doctor explained quietly. “You have nowhere to go, and you don’t even know where you are. Today is the worst day of your life.” 

 

“Yes,” I answered, even though it wasn’t a question.

 

“Well, now  _ I’m  _ the daft ma-” She paused, looking confused. “Time Lord,” she decided. “Now I’m the daft Time Lord in the box, and I’m  _ finally  _ going to do something about that.”

 

“With shopping?” I asked. I don’t know why I felt the need to argue, but I did. There was so much, and it was overwhelming me again. I could feel the ‘reality check’ coming again. It had been a while since I’d had one of those. Did I deserve this? Of course I-

 

_ Stop that, _ a voice soothed in my head. I jumped back, snatching my hands back from the Doctor’s grip. “Sorry, forgot we don’t do that yet.”

 

“Yet?” I squeaked, my voice much higher than I wanted or intended it to be. “Is this what we’re like in the future?” I saw her reaching for my hands again, so I clutched them to my chest and backed up a few steps. “All… touchy and in each other’s heads and-” My voice caught, and if I’d had any tears left, I’m sure I would have been crying again. “What would make you change your mind? What am I to you?”

 

The Doctor pulled her arms back and stuck her hands in her pockets. I could see her trying to condense what she wanted to say into something that wasn’t a speech. “So much,” she decided on. “Spoilers.” She looked so  _ old _ , so many years of loss written on her face, and despite my anger and my confusion, my heart broke for her. 

 

I realized something in that moment. In a way, the Doctor and I were the same. We had both lost everything, no chance of getting it back. We both knew far more about the world that surrounded us than the world around us did. Thirteen and I had simply switched places. Instead of me knowing her future, she knew mine. I had even reacted the same, with fear, by pushing her away.

 

I understood, so I made a decision. I locked that image, that broken look, into my memory. If this was to be the Doctor’s future, regret and compassion, than it was my future too. If this was what my rejection, my confusion, my sorrow, did to a being so completely ancient and powerful, then let if be my acceptance, my knowing, my happiness that fixed it. Always. Up and down the Doctor’s timeline. For as long as I lived.

 

I walked forward, and put my hands on either side of her head, fingers on her temples. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I forgive you,” I whispered. Eyes closed, I tried to send my sincerity through the telepathic link. It took a second, but the Doctor hugged me, so I dropped my hands and hugged her back. 

 

“I know,” she whispered.

 

<...>

 

The Doctor should have felt better,  _ fantastic  _ even _ ,  _ now that Katelyn was gone. He had no reason worry about her now. She wasn’t dangerous while she was physically away from him. There wasn’t a vindictive bone in her body either, so he doubted she’d track him down and try to take revenge. And now she was away from him, away from his timeline. There was nothing she could do. He was  _ safe. _

 

But the Doctor didn’t feel better. In fact, he felt about as far from  _ fantastic _ as he could get. He didn’t… he never just abandoned people like that. No matter how dangerous or disruptive they were. He’d dropped companions before, recently even, but he always left them in a place they could be happy, a place they’d either requested to stay, back where he’d picked them up from, or something in the middle. 

 

And what had he done for Katelyn Laurin? Dropped her in the right year, on the right planet. Not even in her home country. And what had he left her with? A backpack. That was  _ it.  _ He hadn’t even given her a goodbye.

 

The Doctor had barely put the TARDIS back into the Vortex when Jack walked into the console room and any chance of him compartmentalizing that guilt metaphorically flew out the proverbial window. Jack was still in his jimjams, looking around the room curiously.

 

“Lose something, Captain?” The Doctor tried to sound nonchalant, picking at buttons on the console in a decidedly chalant way. 

 

“No, it’s just…” Jack looked around the room as if whatever he was looking for was hiding up in the coral struts. “Have you seen Katelyn?”

 

“No,” the Doctor denied, probably a little too quickly. “Sure she’s not still asleep?” Jack shook his head. He must have just woken up if the usually extremely observant Captain didn’t catch that he was lying. He wasn’t doing a very good job of it. 

 

Jack shook his head. “It was her turn to make breakfast, and there’s nothing in the galley.” He looked around again, as if anything had changed in the last minute. “She’s never forgotten before.”

 

“Well, she’s not here,” the Doctor dismissed, far too quickly again. Jack’s brain must have finally turned back on, because he perked up this time. 

 

“Where is she?” Jack demanded. The Doctor squared his shoulders and crossed his arms, ready to defend himself. Jack didn’t look in the least bit intimidated or like he was planning on backing down. 

 

“Not here,” the Doctor repeated.

 

“What did you do?” Jack demanded again.

 

“Why do you care?” the Doctor deflected.

 

“Why don’t you?” Jack shot back, not deterred in the slightest. The Doctor quietly cursed his tendency lately to pick very brave companions. They always seemed to want to challenge him. “What has she ever done wrong?”

 

_ Nothing, really. Not anything in her control _ , the Doctor didn’t say.  _ By all means, Katelyn Laurin was on of the best companions I’ve ever had.  _ The Doctor knew Jack knew that she was qualified, knew she’d never made any big, obvious mistakes. He knew Jack knew that she was smart, knew she was engaged, knew she was willing to step up when needed. 

 

The Doctor must have taken too long to respond because Jack’s glare strengthened.

 

“Where is Katelyn?” he asked again. When the Doctor still refused to respond, Jack tried a different approach. “Please tell me she’s at least on Earth.”

 

“Of course!” the Doctor snapped. “What do you take me for?” Annoyingly and unwillingly, the Doctor’s bravado deflated slightly under Jack’s unflinching glare. “She’s in London in 2018, the year she left. She’ll live out a normal human life there. She’ll be happy.”

 

“No, she won’t,” Jack deadpanned. “She’ll be miserable and alone until she dies.” The Doctor flinched away from Jack, although he hid it behind the pointed jamming of a few buttons on the console. The conviction in Jack’s voice was such that the Doctor didn’t even think to try and contradict him. “You’re going back to get her.” 

 

“I can’t,” the Doctor bit.

 

“Doctor,” Jack warned.

 

“I really can’t. Next place I land, we’re stuck.” Jack didn’t look like he believed the Doctor, but it was the truth. 

 

After the war, before Rose Tyler, he hadn’t taken care of himself at all. He hadn’t wanted to. By extension, he hadn’t taken much care of his ship either. He should have refueled months ago, probably right after chasing Jack’s space junk, if was being honest.

 

It had just been so… alive on the TARDIS since then. For the first since before the war had started, the traveling, the saving worlds was  _ fun  _ again. He hadn’t wanted to stop.

 

“We’re going to Cardiff to refuel, because we have to,” the Doctor added at Jack’s scoff. “There’s a rift there, mostly closed, but exactly what we need. We’ll be there-” He flicked a few knobs and read the scanner. “-36 to 48 hours.”

 

“Then you’re taking us back to 2018 and we’re finding Katelyn,” Jack insisted.

 

The Doctor only nodded, pretending to still be interested in the scanner. 

 

In that moment, he could convince himself that he was only agreeing to go back and get Katelyn because Jack Harkness was a persuasive man when he wanted something. Of course, if the Doctor wanted to think about it, Jack’s persuasiveness had never convinced him before. 

 

<...>

 

London was beautiful from the top of the London eye, a city of 8 million people laid out in patchwork before me. I’d never really thought a city was beautiful before. This universe contained so many wonders.

 

“I never got to see London back home,” I said without turning around. The Doctor had flashed the physic paper right when we were boarding and managed to get us a whole carriage all to ourselves, which meant I could say whatever I wanted without getting weird looks from strangers. I planned to take full advantage of that. 

 

“I know, you told me,” the Doctor teased. I rolled my eyes, smiling a tiny smile despite myself. A small part of me still wanted to be angry at them, but she was just being so sweet, and I  _ had  _ already forgiven them.

 

“Well, from my point of view, I haven’t told you yet,” I mock snapped, still enthralled with the city beneath me. We were about a third of the way to the top.

 

“Time travel,” she mused. “You just can’t keep it straight in your head.”

 

“Pfbt,” I agreed. “Who needs linear time anyway? I left that back home.”

 

“Back home…” The Doctor trailed off, seemingly confused.

 

“Do I need to remind you again that time travel did not exist in my old universe?” I teased, still looking out the window. The Doctor hesitated on her response, like I’d noticed she’d been doing all day when she’d almost let future information slip. It startled me when she decided to go on. 

 

“Nooo,” she said slowly, like she still wasn’t sure she wanted to say this. “It just… when you told me last time, you didn’t call your old universe ‘home’.” 

 

I turned so quickly my locket rose up out of my shirt and slapped into my shoulder. “Why would I do that?” The Doctor ignored my question, looking at the locket with something suspiciously like pity in her eyes. “What?” I snapped.

 

She blinked, like she’d hadn’t realized she’d been staring. “That locket. I forgot you were wearing it.”

 

“Of course I’m wearing it. That’s usually why one has jewelry.” I started playing with the chain. “This is a little more than just a necklace though,” I muttered to myself. It wasn’t a quiet enough mutter apparently, since the Doctor’s expression shifted from the pity to something more like regret.

 

“A portable reminder that you’re alone,” the Doctor said mournfully. I just stared. She’d just quoted almost exactly the words I had thought when I’d been gifted the damn thing.

 

“How do you know that?” I asked. “You’re not supposed to know that.” The Doctor smiled gently, which was an expression I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to having pointed at me.

 

“You told me,” she said simply. 

 

“I seem to tell you quite a lot.”

 

“I told you quite a lot too,” she said, clearly having fun with the tenses. “It helps you settle. Well-” She got a faraway look in her eyes. “It helped you settle. I’m pretty sure you’re all settled now.”

 

A few pieces of a puzzle I hadn’t even realized I’d been trying to solve slid suddenly into place. “Wait you’re like 3000 years old. How the hell am I still around?”

 

“Oh, look!” The Doctor jumped up from bench she was sitting on. “You can see St. Paul’s Cathedral from here!” I didn’t bother to hide when I rolled my eyes, but I didn’t bother pushing either. I’d find out eventually, after all. 

 

<...>

 

Twelve hours, almost as many tourist spots, and two good meals later, Katelyn was finally properly tired. The Doctor had been more than happy to just lead the young woman around all day, hoping for her to smile the blinding smile that she was used to in her time. It hadn’t come yet, but she had a good feeling it was about to.

 

“Where are we going now?” The Doctor didn’t need to look behind her; she could hear the yawn in the younger woman’s voice, could feel her exhaustion through their clasped hands. 

 

“Somewhere you can sleep.” The pair rounded one more corner, and Katelyn gasped. The Doctor stopped to let her run past toward the beautiful blue box that she knew Katelyn thought she would never see again. She watched the young woman drop the bag of touristy knick-knacks in favor of throwing her arms around the TARDIS. The Doctor beamed as she walked closer and could hear Katelyn damn near singing as she told the TARDIS how beautiful she was and how much she loved her, ect. 

 

Unable to resist, the Doctor snapped her fingers. The TARDIS doors swung open, and, to the Doctor’s delight, Katelyn wasted no time in running in. She waited to hear that gasp she knew was coming, then jumped inside, leaned on the doors, and watched. Katelyn circled the console just like the older her had when she’d seen it the first time. 

 

“Oh, you’ve outdone yourself this time!” Katelyn spun a few more times. “I love it. Oh, I’m-” Katelyn swayed. “I am very tired.” She leaned on the console. “The hammock’s new.”

 

“Hammock?” The Doctor walked over to where Katelyn was already climbing into a cloth hammock that had definitely not been there when she left this morning. The Doctor laughed. “Oh, I switched the jump seat out for it,” she joked.

 

“Good switch,” Katelyn slurred. 

 

By the time the Doctor had closed the distance to her, she had already fallen asleep. Katelyn always looked young when she was sleeping, but right now she looked… all those years, all those adventures, all those losses, even the emotional tax of the last day were just gone. The Doctor let out a gentle sigh at the sight.

 

She knew she shouldn’t, given how Katelyn had reacted to telepathy earlier that day, but the Doctor found she couldn’t really stop herself. She pressed her fingers the young woman’s temples. She could feel the haze of sleep, but the golden glow of TARDIS prevented her from going any further. That was absolutely fine in the Doctor’s books. She didn’t want to invade Katelyn's memories, just wanted a reminder what her mind so… untainted by time felt like.

 

A sudden knock at the TARDIS doors startled the Doctor. She walked over and cracked the door open to Yaz, Ryan, and Graham loaded with a few bags each. She held a finger to her lips. “Come in quietly.” Her companions shifted in and drifted to the halls that led to their rooms. Each lingered on the hammock for a few seconds, but Yaz and Ryan moved on without a word. The Doctor made a mental note to thank them all profusely later.

 

Graham lingered at the edge of the hallway. “Doesn’t she have a bedroom?”

 

“Yeah,” The Doctor answered immediately. She pulled the letter out of her coat pocket. It wasn’t the original paper, of course. That was probably tucked firmly in the leather jacket she hadn’t worn in millennium. “I’m from way in her future. Her room might shock her a bit.” Graham shrugged his acceptance and went down the hallway. The Doctor looked at the paper in her hand, then at the bags she had moved to under the hammock. “Oh. I write it now. Of course”

 

The Doctor really should have realized earlier today, when she’d payed for the notebook that she was writing in now. How could she forget the garish paper, the faded red, white, and blue of the British flag. Katelyn had laughed when she’d seen it, calling it ‘cheesy’ before proclaiming that she must have it. It  _ was _ excessive, the Doctor noted as she wrote the letter she’d written to himself before. But that pattern was why she sent the whole notebook with the letter, so he would have the stupid paper, and every time they saw that pattern, they would remember.

 

<...>

 

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding when I felt the TARDIS land. That same crippling, overwhelming feeling of dread came over me. I couldn’t move from where I was standing. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t. “Don’t leave me,” I gasped. “I-I can’t-” The Doctor came over to me and threaded her fingers through mine. 

 

“I  _ am not _ leaving you,” she said firmly. The Doctor pulled me toward and then out the TARDIS doors. “I’m just dropping you off.” She swung our arms between us then gestured out widely. “Now, where are we?” Oh, distraction. Distraction was good.

 

“Well.” I tried to ignore the crack in my voice and made a show of looking around. “The air is cold, but not biting, so I’m gonna guess early fall.” I looked around again, realization settling in. I turned back to the Doctor with look that I hoped was both searching and sardonic. “Are we in Cardiff?” She nodded. “September, 2006?” 

 

“And I am about to park the TARDIS-” The Doctor pointed to an area across from where we were standing, near that giant fountain in the center of the town, the one with Jack’s little slice of Torchwood tucked underneath. “-right there to refuel. And you-” She turned back to me and gestured to hold my hand out, then slapped the garish notebook she’d bought me yesterday in my open palm. 

 

“-are going to march right up to that box and shove this in the face that kicked me out.” The Doctor laughed at the confidence in my tone, which made me deflate a bit. 

 

“No. You’re gonna walk up to that box, slowly, give that notebook to the face that kicked you out, then get thoroughly mothered by one Rose Tyler,” the Doctor corrected. I smiled, because that certainly sounded like Rose. The Doctor dropped my hand, and pushed me gently forward toward the fountain. “Go on then. Your life awaits.”

 

I spun around and hugged Thirteen one more time. “See you later,” I called, running toward the spot where I knew Nine would be parking the TARDIS. 

 

I only really made it few feet before fear stopped me in my tracks. I walked over to a bench on the edge of the area, sat down, and slapped my face lightly.  _ Get a grip. You just had some pretty complete proof that he’ll let you back in. _

 

_ Let you back in to what _ , was my next thought. There was no TARDIS by the fountain yet. If I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could hear the sound of 13’s TARDIS dematerializing. She was making sure she didn’t cross her own timeline.  _ That’s taking a lot longer than it should,  _ I thought, playing with the notebook in my hands.  _ And it’s getting louder again.  _ I opened my eyes and snapped my head up. 

 

There it was. 

 

Just like the Doctor had said, I walked over very slowly, counting each step. I wondered if he was watching me on the scanner inside, if that’s how she’d known, or if she just knew me well enough to make the guess. I twisted the notebook around in my hand. It was grounding, in a way, my ticket back on the TARDIS. With a deep breath, I raised my hand and knocked. 

 

It was Jack who opened the door. He had his mouth open, a sparkle in his eyes, obviously ready to say something witty. Whatever he was going to say died when he saw it was me. “Katelyn,” he breathed.

 

“Jack.” I wanted to sound like I was fine. I failed miserably. He pulled me into the TARDIS  and wrapped me into a hug.

 

“The Doctor said-”

 

“The Doctor says a lot of things,” I interrupted into Jack’s shirt. I, quite frankly, didn’t want to know what lies the Last of the Time Lords might have spun. “Where is he?”

 

“Right here.” I pulled away from Jack. The Doctor was leaning against the console, arms crossed, face unreadable. “How did you get to 2005? I left you in 2018.” I swallowed the bitterness I felt rising, and held out the notebook. “What’s that?”

 

“A message,” I said weakly. That piqued his interest. The Doctor uncrossed his arms and took the notebook from my hands.

 

“From who?” He turned the notebook around a few times, not once opening it. I felt the TARDIS’s humming slowly sliding back into my subconscious. I felt myself relax.

 

“I have this feeling that you’ll know when you read it.” Neither of us got a chance to say anything else, because that was when Rose came bouncing into the console room, still in her pajamas. The Doctor pocketed the notebook with a lingering look at me at went about pushing buttons. It only took Rose a second to notice I was there.

 

“Katelyn!” Rose ran over and hugged me. “I thought-” She pulled back. “You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Did you sleep?” I laughed.

 

“Yeah, in my clothes.” Rose gave me a look. “It was a long day.”

 

“Right then.” She turned me around and pushed me in the general direction of my bedroom. “You. Shower. Change clothes.”

 

“Yeah, sure thing  _ Mum _ ,” I joked, running back toward my bedroom.

 

<...>

 

The Doctor waited for Jack and Rose to disappear down the hall toward the kitchen to pull the notebook out of his pocket again. The paper reminded him of Rose’s T-Shirt, he thought stupidly. He looked around one last time to make sure his companions weren’t in the room, and finally opened the notebook.

 

 

_ Doctor, _

_ You just very nearly made one of the worst mistakes of your life, and trust me, you’ll thank me for returning her someday.  _

_ She has already forgiven you. For everything you have done and will do. She will always stand by you when you need her, and sometimes even when you don’t. So don’t lose her.  _

_ The universe doesn’t often grant us second chances, so make the most of it, yeah? _

 

 

The note wasn’t signed, but it was written in circular Gallifreyan, which was frankly signature enough.

 

<...>

 

After my shower, and changing into flannel pajamas for comfort, I started unpacking my backpack of the random knick-knacks. I’d purchased a lot on my guided tour of old London town. The Doctor had happily dragged me along to every major landmark she could. It was certainly a nice day, if a bit touristy. 

 

Actually, I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed that plain old planet Earth day until I was unpacking the knick-knacks. Filling out the shelves in my room with silly little trinkets, each with a story and a usually a smile associated, was the only way I could have really recovered from the sheer despair. I snorted at the memory of how this day started. 

 

“Talk about emotional whiplash, eh?” I said. The TARDIS hummed agreement back at me. “You know, it’s really nice to have someone respond to my random comments. I didn’t think I’d enjoy having someone in my head this much.” The TARDIS hummed a vague sort of amusement, but wouldn’t tell me why when I asked. “Oh, now you’re being - hold on.” I pulled a small box that I couldn’t remember buying out of my backpack. “What’s this?” The TARDIS just keep sending that amused feeling, which was not an answer, so I opened to box to spite her.

 

Inside the box was a bracelet that I knew I hadn’t bought. For starters, it was far fancier than any jewelry I would have bought for myself. The whole band was a gleaming polished silver, inlaid with what looked like tiny glass beads or gems down one side from the joint to the clasp. There was a large, TARDIS blue gem on the other side of the joint.

 

Unable to stop myself, I pushed the gem like a button, only to discover that it actually pressed in. I lifted my thumb and pressed again. Not seeing any change, I leaned against the wall, trying to figure out what the button did. After a few seconds, the TARDIS, who was apparently irritable when low on fuel, got annoyed with my stupidity and shocked me. “Ow, what was that fo- ooooooooh.” I caught sight of the nanogene jar sitting on my desk. Every time I pressed the blue gem, the whole jar lit up and shook, like the nanogenes were trying to get out.

 

I checked the box again, and figured out why the TARDIS had been so annoyed that I hadn’t realized what the bracelet was for. There was a note pressed in the bottom, written on the paper from that notebook. It was a simple explanation of how the bracelet worked, programming instructions for how to add new species into the nanogene’s database, and instructions on how to build a charging port for the bracelet that would be compatible with the nanogenes. 

 

“Better not tell Rose they have batteries. She’ll throw a fit.” The lights in my room flashed a few times. “Are you laughing?” I asked the ceiling. The lights flashed again. “You are! It wasn’t even that funny!” I laughed too, more because I wanted to than from any humor. 

 

After a little bit, I let out a sigh a sank down to lay on the hardwood floor of my room, ready to just rest. “Hey, old girl?” The TARDIS hummed back. “Not that I’m complaining, but why do you like me so much?” The TARDIS dimmed the lights in the room, which got the message across to me pretty clearly. “Alright fine. I’ll just figure that out for myself then, since you’re being  _ so _ helpful.” The lights flashed back on. I threw my hands over my face to block the assault. 

 

“Oh, now you’re just being petty.” The TARDIS was apparently very annoyed with me, because she didn’t give me the few minutes it would have taken to parse it out myself. She flashed me a picture of an orange sky and the words ‘I understood’. “Oh, well then. Of course. I-” The TARDIS cut me off by flashing me a warning that she’d be closing the hallways tomorrow, then settled back to a hum at base of my skull, and didn’t say anything else. 


	6. Boom Town

A day and a half later, after we’d all had breakfast and the Doctor had stopped staring me down whenever we were in the same room, there was another knock on the TARDIS doors. Jack ran over and threw the door open. “Who the hell are you?” I heard him ask.

 

“What do you mean, who the hell am I?” I heard Mickey answer, annoyed. “Who the hell are you?”

 

“Captain Jack Harkness. Whatever your selling, we're not buying,” Jack shot back.

 

“Get out of my way!” Mickey elbowed his way past Jack and into the console room. I nudged Rose toward him from my place curled on the floor. I would have been on the jumpseat, but we humans had come into a console room in utter chaos this morning, and the jumpseat was currently covered in bits and bobs.

 

“Don't tell me. This must be Mickey,” Jack sounded far more upset than he was. At Mickey, at least. It hadn't taken me long to figure out that Jack was holding a tiny grudge, for my sake. Rose was too, although when I’d told them to let it go, she had.

 

“Here comes trouble!” The Doctor said cheerfully from where he was standing on scaffolding and repairing something. “How're you doing, Ricky boy?”

 

“It's Mickey!” He was scowling too. Everyone but me was mad at the Doctor, it seemed. And I was the only one with a good reason.

 

“Don't listen to him, he's winding you up,” Rose said with the tone of someone who’d said that exact phrase a hundred times.

 

“You look fantastic.” Mickey was smiling again. Rose walked forward the last couple of steps between them and hugged him. 

 

“Aw, sweet, look at these two.” Jack dropped his anger for the opportunity of a perfect line, as Jack Harkness was wont to do. He looked over to where the Doctor was standing. “How come I never get any of that?”

 

“Buy me a drink first,” the Doctor deadpanned.

 

“You're such hard work,” Jack sighed.

 

“But worth it.” I decided to look up from my lap. There were repairs to be done, and I had two fully functioning hands.

 

“Speaking of hard work-” I tried. 

 

“No,” the Doctor said firmly. I just dropped my head again, not willing to argue. I was on shaky ground as is.

 

“Did you manage to find it?” Rose asked.

 

“There you go,” Mickey answered after a moment.

 

“I can go anywhere now,” Rose said with confidence.

 

“I told you, you don't need a passport,” the Doctor said.

 

“It's all very well going to Platform One and Justicia and the Glass Pyramid of San Kaloon-” I smiled at that. I had been here for San Kaloon. We’d nearly been murdered by giant vultures and Jack had accidentally gotten engaged to the region's princess. Good times. “But what if we end up in Brazil? I might need it. You see, I'm prepared for anything.” I could hear the tongue-touched grin in her voice, didn’t even need to stop studying my boots.

 

“Sounds like your staying, then,” Mickey said, dejected. There was a long silence, then Mickey sighed. “So, what're you doing in Cardiff? And who the hell's Jumping Jack Flash? And-” Mickey finally seemed to notice me, which maybe was deserving of me looking up from my boots. I waved, which seemed to be enough for now. “I mean, I don't mind you hanging out with big-ears up there-”

 

“Oi!” the Doctor defended.

 

“Look in the mirror,” Mickey countered. “But this guy, I don't know, he's kind of-” Mickey almost seemed taken with Jack already. I snorted to myself. That was a couple that would last, at the absolute most, ten seconds.

 

“Handsome?” Jack offered

 

“More like cheesy.” And the moment was gone.

 

“Early twenty first Century slang.” Jack walked over to stand next to where I was sitting. “Is cheesy good or bad?” I looked up at him and smiled. He’d been trying so hard to make me feel better, to make me feel included.

 

“I’m from America and about a decade in the future,” I reminded him. “You’re asking the wrong person, Jack.”

 

“It's bad,” Mickey said instantly.

 

“But bad means good, isn't that right?” Jack tried.

 

“In certain contexts,” I agreed. “Not usually in that tone.”

 

“Are you saying I'm not handsome?” The Doctor climbed down from the rigging, looking ridiculous with the headlamp he was wearing.

 

“We just stopped off. We need to refuel,” said Rose, the only mature person in the room. “The thing is, Cardiff's got this rift running through the middle of the city. It's invisible, but it's like an earthquake fault between different dimensions.”

 

“The rift was healed back in 1869,” the Doctor interjected. He gave Rose a full faced smile. I smiled weakly at the sight. 

 

“Thanks to a girl named Gwyneth, because these creatures called the Gelth, they were using the rift as a gateway but she saved the world and closed it,” Rose said with pride. Mickey looked a bit out of his depth.

 

“But closing a rift always leaves a scar.” Jack had apparently been silent for too long, and decided to jump in. “And that scar generates energy, harmless to the human race-”

 

“-But perfect for the TARDIS,” the Doctor said again. “So just park it here for a couple of days right on top of the scar and-”

 

“-Open up the engines, soak up the radiation-”

 

“Like filling her up with petrol,” Rose enthused. “-and off we go!” Mickey did not look amused. He even looked past them to me, but I just shrugged fondly.

 

“Into time!” Jack shouted. The three high fived, grinning like maniacs. It was hard not to join them.

 

“And space!” They all shouted together.

 

“My God, have you seen yourselves?” Mickey did not seemed amused. “You all think you're so clever, don't you?”

 

“Yeah,” the Doctor said without hesitation.

 

“Yeah,” Rose agreed with a nod. 

 

“Yep!” Jack reached forward and lightly slapped Mickey’s cheek. He reeled back, clearly not enjoying any part of this. 

 

“And what about Sulky McScowl back there.” It took me a second the realize Mickey was talking about me. I pulled myself up from the grating.

 

“Oh, I’m only clever on Thursdays,” I joked.

 

“It is Thursday,” Mickey deadpanned.

 

“Oh, in that case…” I walked over to the others and smirked. “Yup.” I popped the “p”. Jack threw his arm around my shoulder. “Katelyn Laurin, by the way.” I offered my hand, which Mickey seemed reluctant to shake. 

 

The Doctor apparently took that moment to decided that was quite enough of Mickey Smith on his TARDIS and started pushing us all out. “Should take another twenty four hours,” he said, closing the door. “Which means we've got time to kill.”

 

“That old lady's starring,” Mickey said, pointing. Indeed, there was an older woman looking at us in confusion and slight disgust.

 

“Probably wondering what five people could do inside a small wooden box,” Jack joked, slapping his hand down on the Doctor’s shoulder and chuckling at his own joke. I scrunched up my nose.

 

“Gross. Don’t include me in your fantasies, Jack,” I protested. 

 

“What are you captain of, the Innuendo Squad?” Mickey made it should like an insult, but Jack just made a gesture and walked over to me proudly.

 

“Yeah, and she’s first lieutenant,” Jack offered, throwing an arm over my shoulders again.

 

“We should get badges,” I joked. 

 

“And lunch,” Rose grabbed my arm and started pulling us in a random direction.

 

“Wait, the TARDIS,” Mickey interrupted. “We can't just leave it. Doesn't it get noticed?”

 

“Yeah, what's with the police box?” Jack finally asked. “Why does it look like that?”

 

“Four months and finally, he asks,” I said to the air.

 

“It's a cloaking device,” Rose answered, bumping me with her hip.

 

“It's called a chameleon circuit. The TARDIS is meant to disguise itself wherever it lands.” The Doctor patted the time-space ship fondly. “Like if this was Ancient Rome, it'd be a statue on a plinth or something. But I landed in the 1960s, it disguised itself as a police box, and the circuit got stuck.” He was smiling his smug little ‘I’m the smartest person here’ smile. I bit my tongue around a witty comment.

 

“So it copied a real thing? There actually was police boxes?” Mickey asked.

 

“That’s the part of that explanation you find the strangest?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, on street corners.” The Doctor ignored me. “Phone for help before they had radios and mobiles. If they arrested someone, they could shove them inside till help came, like a little prison cell.” He smiled at the box fondly again.

 

_ Ironic that you spend so much time in it, Thief,  _ I didn’t say

 

“Why don't you just fix the circuit?” Jack offered.

 

“I like it, don't you?” the Doctor asked.

 

“I love it,” Rose enthused.

 

“It’s iconic,” I whispered, hopefully too quietly for the Doctor to hear.

 

“But that's what I meant,” Mickey said smugly. The Doctor’s smile faded. “There's no police boxes anymore, so doesn't it get noticed?”

 

“Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race.” The Doctor advanced on Mickey in a way that would terrify certain races into submission. Mickey just looked mildly miffed. “You put a mysterious blue box slap bang in the middle of town, what do they do?” He paused for effect. “Walk past it. Now, stop your nagging. Let's go and explore.”

 

“What's the plan?” Rose skipped over and linked her arm through the Doctor’s. I looked away from it all, which only Jack noticed. He tugged me along with the group, despite how much I honestly just wanted to hide in the TARDIS. 

 

“I don't know. Cardiff, early twenty first century and the wind's coming from the... east.” The Doctor actually sounded happy for a down day. “Trust me. Safest place in the universe.”

 

<...>

 

The restaurant we’d picked to eat at was nice. All the walls were windows, which was extra nice. Jack was telling ridiculous stories, which was even nicer. Everyone was smiling and laughing; I could almost forget yesterday.

 

“I swear,” Jack was saying. 

 

“You're lying through your teeth!” the Doctor argued.

 

“Six feet tall and with big tusks,” Jack insisted. Rose was hysterical with laughter, trying to talk over him, but Jack wouldn’t stop. “I mean, it turns out the white things are tusks and I mean tusks! And it's woken, and it's not happy.”

 

“How could you not know it was there?” the Doctor insisted. Jack was not deterred.

 

“And we're standing there, fifteen of us, naked.” Jack leaned forward to emphasize the last word.

 

“Naked?!” Rose was smiling stupidly wide. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe, much less comment.

 

“And I'm like, oh, no, no, it's got nothing to do with me. And then it roars, and we are running. Oh my God, we are running! And Brakovitch falls, so I turn to him and I say-”

 

“-I knew we should've turned left!” Mickey interrupted. Everyone laughed loudly at that. The Doctor even shook Mickey’s hand, which must have meant it was a good day.

 

“I don't believe you. I don't believe a word you say ever. That is so brilliant. Did you ever get your clothes back?” Rose asked. I managed to breathe.

 

“Oh, c’mon Rose. Clothes have never been his priority,” I argued. Jack shook his head.

 

“I just picked him up, went right for the ship, full throttle. Didn't stop until I hit the spacelanes. I mean, I was shaking. It was unbelievable. It freaked me out, and by the time I got fifteen light years away I realized I'm like this-”

 

“And I was having such a nice day,” the Doctor said suddenly. None of us had noticed him getting up and snatching a newspaper. He showed us the cover, which dropped the smile immediately off of Rose’s face. I frowned too, but I’d known this was coming.

 

“And?” Mickey asked, confused.

 

“Slitheen,” the Doctor and Rose said together. Mickey scowled. 

 

“C’mon, we’re going to handle this.” The Doctor was already nearly out the door when the rest of us followed. 

 

“What’s a Slitheen?” Jack asked.

 

The Doctor started explaining what had happened six months ago in London, pausing only to breath. When we got outside, I peeled off from the group. That got the Doctor to stop.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

 

“Well, you don’t want me to interfere,” I said, failing to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “I was just gonna head back to the TARDIS and stay out of the way.” The silence that followed that was heavy. Jack and Rose kept looking at each other, than back and forth between the Time Lord and I. Mickey just looked confused. Eventually, the Doctor walked back to me, grabbed my hand, and started pulling me in the direction he’d been walking before.

 

“You don’t have a key,” he reminded me. “Come on.”

 

<...>

 

“According to intelligence,” Jack started, already striping off his outer layers. It was warm in the town hall we’d tracked Margaret back to. “The target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family, a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, masquerading as a human being, zipped inside a skin suit. Okay, plan of attack-” I watched the Doctor give Jack his ‘excuse me?’ look. It was nice to have it pointed at someone else for once. “We assume a basic fifty-seven fifty-six strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor. Doctor, you go face to face. That'll designate Exit One, I'll cover Exit Two. Rose, you Exit Three. Mickey Smith, you take Exit Four. Katelyn, stay here. That’s exit five. Have you got that?”

 

“Excuse me.” Jack looked at the Doctor like he’d actually forgotten he was there. “Who's in charge?’

 

“Sorry. Awaiting orders, sir.”

 

“Right, here's the plan.” The Doctor paused for a long time, then smiled. “Like he said. Nice plan. Anything else?” Jack was nearly smirking.

 

“Present arms.” We each pulled out a cell phone, circa 2004. I tried not to scowl at it; The buttons were so tiny.

 

“Ready.” The Doctor.

 

“Ready.” Rose Tyler.

 

“Ready.” Mickey Smith.

 

“Ready.” Me.

 

“Ready.” Jack Harkness. “Speed dial?” When we had all affirmed, Jack smiled. “See you in hell.” Then the others took off to cover their exits. I wondered if I should just make my way to the alley I knew she’d end up in already, or…

 

I looked up and down the hallways the others had run, but they were all out of view already. With a shrug, I took off out the front door, and ran toward the alleyway. I was already halfway there when “Slitheen heading north” came out of the cell phone in my hand.

 

I was already in the alley when the others came running up from the other side. Margret didn’t stop running when she saw me, just scowled and started pressing her teleporter together. “Here I am!” Mickey called, finally bursting out of his door.

 

“Mickey the idiot,” the Doctor said, unnecessarily. 

 

“Oh, be fair,” Rose said. “She's not exactly going to outrun us, is she? ‘Sides, Katelyn’s cut her off.” That was when Margaret pushed a button on her teleporter and disappeared.

 

“She's got a teleport! That's cheating!” Jack shouted. “Now we're never going to get her.” 

 

“Oh, the Doctor's very good at teleports,” Rose explained. Said man held up the sonic screwdriver with a cheeky smile and pushed a button. Margaret reappeared, running away from me this time. She skidded to a stop, and started running back toward me, disappearing again. The third time that happened, she stopped running in front of the other four, panting. I walked up behind her, effectively trapping her in between us.

 

“I could do this all day,” the Doctor said smugly. 

 

“This is persecution,” the Slitheen growled. “Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?”

 

“You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.”

 

“Apart from that.”

 

“You succeeded in killing several people, including but not limited to the Prime Minister of Great Britain and the woman whose skin your wearing,” I added. Rose gave me a very confused look. The Doctor must not have covered one of those specific details in his explanation to Jack earlier. Oops.

 

But wait… that meant the Doctor  _ still  _ hadn’t told Rose, which meant he hadn’t told Jack either. They didn’t know what I knew. They didn’t know what I  _ was.  _ They didn’t know why the Doctor hated me, why he was afraid of me, why he had kicked me out. 

 

It shocked me, in a way. The Doctor hadn’t explained to me why he didn’t tell Rose straight away, but I could parse it out. What I couldn’t wrap me head around why he wouldn’t tell her now.

 

No wonder they were so mad.

 

<...>

 

“So, you're a Slitheen, you're on Earth, you're trapped. Your family get killed but you teleport out just in the nick of time. You have no means of escape. What do you do? You build a nuclear power station. But what for?” I was barely listening to the Doctor’s explanation. 

 

“A philanthropic gesture,” Margaret lied through her teeth, even though she almost sounded sincere. “I've learnt the error of my ways.”

 

“And it just so happens to be right on top of the rift.” The Doctor wasn’t buying her lies either. I walked over to a desk and sat on it, swinging my legs.

 

“What rift would that be?” The Slitheen almost sounded confused. She was a much better actor this time around.

 

“A rift in space and time,” Jack enunciated. “If this power station went into meltdown, the entire planet would go-” Jack gestured in and made an explosion noise. 

 

“This station is designed to explode the minute it reaches capacity,” the Doctor agreed.

 

“Didn't anyone notice?” Rose asked, in near disbelief. “Isn't there someone in London checking this sort of stuff?”

 

“We're in Cardiff,” Margaret spit. “London doesn't care. The South Wales coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice.” She took a breath, ready to continue her speech, but paused. “Oh. I sound like a  _ Welshman _ . God help me, I've gone native.”

 

“But why would she do that? A great big explosion, she'd only end up killing herself,” Mickey pointed out. He was getting better at this, I noted.

 

“She's got a name, you know,” Margaret sneered.

 

“She's not even a she,” Mickey said, rolling his eyes. “She's a thing.” 

 

“Mickey, that’s xenophobic,” I said, having been quiet too long. “Slitheen clearly have a similar concept of gender-”

 

“She's clever,” the Doctor interrupted. He reached forward, knocking the diagram of the nuclear power station aside and pulling up what honestly just looked like a plastic board covered in wires. “Fantastic,” he breathed.

 

Jack just stared for a moment, awestruck and, knowing Jack, probably a little turned on. “Is that a tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator?”

 

“Couldn't have put it better myself.” Jack snatched the extrapolator from the Doctor.

 

“Oo, genius!” He walked over to Margaret, as if to show it to her. “You didn't build this.”

 

“I have my hobbies. A little tinkering,” she answered the not question. I watched the Doctor catch sight of the poster for the project, and felt ice settle in my stomach. 

 

“No, no, no. I mean, you really didn't build this. Way beyond you,” Jack said. The Doctor walked closer. I wondered briefly if he didn’t actually speak Welsh and was waiting for the translation to kick in, or if he was just stunned. I’d have to ask the TARDIS how the translation circuit worked.

 

“I bet she stole it,” Mickey accused. 

 

“It fell into my hands,” Margaret defended.

 

“Is it a weapon?” Rose asked, suddenly worried.

 

“It's transport.” Jack launched into an explanation that would have made the Doctor proud, but I didn’t pay attention. I was watching the letters on the poster shift to the English translation, wishing something could be done to change them. But there they were, meaning I had done - would do - nothing.

 

“It's a surfboard,” Mickey summed up, sounding surprised it could be that simple.

 

“A pan-dimensional surfboard, yeah,” Jack said.

 

“And it would've worked,” Margaret the Slitheen admitted. “I’d have surfed away from this dead end dump and back to civilization.” 

 

“Hey!” I argued, snapping my head back to the group. “Level 5 planet we’ve got here. Hardly a dead-end dump.” I paused, realizing for all the times I’d heard those words, I didn’t really know what they meant. “I think. Remind me to read that.”

 

“You'd blow up a whole planet just to get a lift?” Mickey asked, ignoring my little side rant.

 

“Like stepping on an anthill,” she said, right into Mickey’s face.

 

“Bad analogy.” I crossed my arms. I took a lot of willpower to focus on her instead of the poster. “All stepping on an anthill does is block the entrance. Ants are smart You wouldn’t kill any ants.” That got me some weird looks from the other humans. “Also fuck you, maybe?” I added for good measure. That got some better responses.

 

“How'd you think of the name?” the Doctor asked, a little too quietly. He’d translated it. 

 

“What? Blaidd Drwg?” Margaret scowled. “It's Welsh.”

 

“I know, but how did you think of it?” He actually sounded confused, worried. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t think he’d appreciate anything from me.

 

“I chose it at random, that's all.” She sounded sincere. I believed her. “I don't know. It just sounded good.” She paused, walking toward the Doctor. “Does it matter?”

 

The Doctor turned around slowly, his face creased with worry. “Blaidd Drwg.” He looked at Rose.

 

“What's it mean?” she asked.

 

“Bad Wolf,” the Doctor and I breathed at the same time. He gave me a look of barely disguised terror. I looked away.

 

“But I've heard that before,” Rose realized. “Bad Wolf.” The words echoed around my head. We were too far from the TARDIS. “I've heard that lots of times.” I suddenly realized that I couldn’t really see anything. My breath started coming in gasps. 

 

“Everywhere we go. Two words following us…” The Doctor trailed off, and it took me a solid 30 second to realize he was looking at me. “Katelyn?” 

 

“Information overload,” I choked out. “I just-” I tumbled off the desk and ran from the room, nearly smacking into the door on my way out. I wanted to get at least a room between the others and me, but my legs were just not having it. I only managed to wedge myself in the far corner of the next room over from where we’d been when my body gave out completely. I had just enough strength to pull myself into a ball before the full meaning of “BAD WOLF” crashed into me.  _ The Parting of the Ways _ . I had failed. There was no delaying it now.

 

Even with my eyes pinched closed, I saw a hundred strands of pink energy, coming from all directions, but all pointing in one.  _ Rose Tyler _ . I saw her crouching over me, aglow with orange light. She reached out to touch me, but the Doctor appeared suddenly over her shoulder, a swirling spot of navy blue in the sea of pink, and yanked her back. When he spoke, it sounded like he was ten miles away and underwater.

 

“I’m sorry, Rose. You can’t. She’s an untrained touch telepath. If you touch her, whatever’s going on in her head will be going on in yours too.” 

 

“But it was those words.” Rose still sounded a bit like she was underwater, but she was maybe only a few feet away. “How could they do this to her? How can they be following us?”

 

“Never mind.” I could vaguely see the Doctor pulling Rose away, the colors retreating back into the room. “We can talk about it later. Things to do.” 

 

Then they were too far away for me to her them anymore. They were still underwater; I couldn’t make out words, trapped in my own head, until-

 

“Raxacorico-” Rose was trying really hard.

 

“-fallapatorius,” the Doctor finished like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

 

“Raxacoricofallapatorius!” Rose cheered at that. The Doctor cheered back. I could feel their joy from where I was curled up in a ball. The world around me started to feel like reality again, even if my brain was still screaming that it wasn’t.

 

“They have the death penalty.” The emotional whiplash from that statement was enough to snap me back on my feet. “The family Slitheen was tried in its absence many years ago and found guilty with no chance of appeal. According to the statutes of government, the moment I return, I am to be executed. What do you make of that, Doctor?” She paused, but no one said anything. “Take me home and you take me to my death.” 

 

“Not our problem,” I choked out, before fainting.

 

<...>

 

They probably made a very strange sight, the Doctor thought, walking back to the TARDIS. The Lord Mayor of Cardiff, a six foot tall man in a leather jacket, one young adult man carrying a circuit board, one young adult woman fumbling with a key, and one adult man carrying one very unconscious barely-an-adult woman walking with purpose toward a small blue box. It was a mercy that the sun had set and the area around the TARDIS was generally clear of people, but still the Doctor had never wished so hard for a perception filter in his life. 

 

“This ship is impossible,” Margret gasped as soon as she was inside. He went to the console immediately, checking to see how much time they had left on refueling. “It's superb. How do you get the outside around the inside?”

 

“Like I'd give you the secret, yeah.” The Doctor went to fiddle with some piece of the console he’s been working on earlier, just to give his hands something to do. From the corner of his eye, he watched Jack set Katelyn down gently on the jump seat and Rose shrug her jacket off to lay across the younger woman. They were both looking at her with worry. While refueling, the TARDIS had closed all her hallways, which meant no bedrooms and no medbay.

 

“I almost feel better about being defeated.” Oh yeah, the Slitheen was still here too. “I never stood a chance. This is the technology of the gods.”

 

“Don't worship me.” The Doctor kept looking at Rose, who was checking Katelyn’s temperature. “I'd make a very bad god.” He had to look away from the two women. “You wouldn't get a day off, for starters. Jack, how we doing, big fella?”

 

Jack had taken the extrapolator from Mickey, who was standing to the side uselessly, and was hooking it up to the underside of the console. “This extrapolator top of the range. Where did you get it?”

 

“I don't know,” Margaret said in a tone that told the Doctor she both knew and didn’t want to say. “Some airlock sale?”

 

“Must've been a great big heist,” Jack accused. He turned to the Doctor. “It's stacked with power.”

 

“But we can use it for fuel?” The Doctor just wanted to get out of here, leave this whole thing behind him, run like he always did. 

 

“It's not compatible, but it should knock off about twelve hours.”

 

“How can it knock off twelve hours if it’s not compatible,” Katelyn grumbled. Rose shushed her. The Doctor’s chest didn’t warm with relief that she was conscious, no sir. She was dangerous, and he _didn’t care_.

 

“Then we're stuck here,” the Doctor very nearly didn’t complain. “Overnight.” He looked over to Katelyn, who had more fully woken up, and was trying to get upright despite Rose trying to keep her down. “Without the medbay,” he whispered.

 

“ _ I'm _ in no hurry,” Margaret said.

 

“We've got a prisoner,” Rose said, giving up on keeping Katelyn down. The Doctor smiled lightly, looking back at the console. “The police box is really a police box.”

 

“You're not just police, though.” Did that creature have to ruin every good Rose moment? “Since you're taking me to my death, that makes you my executioners.” She paused. “Each and every one of you.”

 

“You… deserve it,” Mickey sneered, although even hr didn’t sound very sure of what he’d just said.

 

“You're very quick to say so,” Margaret said almost cheerfully. “You're very quick to soak your hands in my blood, which makes you better than me, how, exactly?” Mickey just glared.

 

“That’s the biggest false equivalency I’ve ever heard.” Everyone turned to look at Katelyn. She was still paler than usual, but her voice was firm, like she’d already recovered from her… reality check… attack. If she kept having those he was going to need to name them. “You’re a serial killer at best, and a genocidal maniac at worst,” she continued. “You did it for a profit and you’re not sorry.” The Doctor noticed that Katelyn’s knuckles were white on the seat under her, but she made no move to get up. “Any regret you feel now is just retrospect on how poorly executed your plan was. Personally, I won’t lose any sleep over this.”

 

Margaret turned to the one person willing to convict her. “But can you look me in my eyes and send me to my death?”

 

Katelyn leaned forward, and it took a decent amount of the Doctor’s effort to not back away. Her eyes were the picture of controlled fury. Hers was a mirror of his face, when he did this, the twin of the Oncoming Storm. Another reason he didn’t trust her. “Those aren’t even your eyes,  _ Margaret. _ ”

 

<...>

 

I was honestly surprised at my own conviction, since no one else seemed quite so certain. Mickey and Rose had left the TARDIS, unable, I guess, to stay in a room with a creature that was being sent to her death. The Doctor was staring at the scanner. I knew he was watching Mickey and Rose, trying to convince himself he wasn’t jealous, he wasn’t in love. I also knew he was failing.

 

“So, what's on?” Jack asked, knowing perfectly well the Doctor was not watching TV.

 

“Nothing, just,” the Doctor slid the scanner away and walked over to me. “You feeling alright now?” I tried for a reassuring smile.

 

“Yeah, just a little thirsty-”

 

“I gather it's not always like this,” Margaret interrupted. “Having to wait.” The Doctor turned away from me quickly and went back to repairs. Jack was still picking at the extrapolator.

 

There was silence for a long time. “I bet you're always the first to leave, Doctor,” Margaret picked back up. “Never mind the consequences, off you go. You butchered my family and then ran for the stars, am I right? But not this time. At last you have consequences.”

 

_ His entire life is a consequence,  _ I didn’t say.  _ He destroyed his own people, and he has to live with that. Can you imagine that pain? _

 

“How does it feel?” she taunted. 

 

“I didn't butcher them,” the Doctor said casually. 

 

“Don't answer back,” Jack said lightly. “That's what she wants.”

 

“I didn't,” the Doctor said to Jack. “What about you?” he said, ignoring Jack. “You had an emergency teleport. You didn't zap them to safety, did you?”

 

“It only carries one.” She almost sounded sad. I almost wanted to comfort her. Then I remembered why her family had died. “I had to fly without coordinates. I ended up on a skip in the Isle of Dogs.” The Doctor chuckled. “It wasn't funny.”

 

“Sorry,” the Doctor lied. He looks back and forth between Jack and I, who are both trying not to smile. “It is a bit funny.” We all laughed at that, even Margaret. I didn’t really get the joke, but it felt nice to laugh, so I did.

 

“Do I get a last request?” Margaret asked once we’d all calmed down. Jack’s smile dropped immediately, but I couldn’t see the Doctor’s face to know about him.

 

“Depends what it is,” he deadpanned.

 

“I grew quite fond of my little human life. All those rituals. The brushing of the teeth, and the complicated way they cook things.” Margaret paused, as if in fond recollection. “There's a little restaurant just round the Bay.” That caught the Doctor’s attention; he turned around. “It became quite a favourite of mine.” The Doctor walked over slowly, the way he does when he’s skeptical, and leaned on the railing.

 

“Is that what you want, a last meal?” he asked

 

“Don't I have rights?” our prisoner countered.  

 

“Oh, like she's not going to try to escape,” Jack said. 

 

“Except I can never escape the Doctor, so where's the danger?” Margaret spat. Both men still looked like they believed her maybe about 15%. “I wonder if you could do it?” she taunted. “To sit with a creature you're about to kill and take supper. How strong is your stomach?” 

 

“Strong enough,” the Doctor said, hesitating only a second.

 

“I wonder. I've seen you fight your enemies. Now dine with them,” Margaret challenged. Even I could see her game, and also see that she really thought she was going to win.

 

“You won't change my mind.” The Doctor smirked. 

 

“Prove it.” The Doctor rose slowly and started to walk away from her.

 

“There are people out there. If you slip away just for one second, they'll be in danger.” The Doctor said it with a tone of finality. 

 

“I’ll come with you,” I offered. “I’m no use in here anyway.” The Doctor gave me a pointed look, and I shrunk back into the jumpseat. Of course he didn’t want me.

 

“You’re not going anywhere until I know you’re not going to faint again.”

 

I blinked, any retort I had prepared dying. He was worried about me?  _ No, _ I decided after a second. He was worried I’d be a distraction, let Margaret escape.

 

“I've got these,” Jack offered. He held up two bracelets that he’d been keeping God knows where. “You both wear one. If she moves more than ten feet away,” Jacks made a noise, which startled Margaret. “She gets zapped by ten thousand volts.” Margaret looked almost impressed. I tried very hard not to think about why Jack had those.

 

“Margaret,” the Doctor said, chipper. “Would you like to come out to dinner? My treat.” 

 

“Dinner in bondage.” I tried not shudder. I failed. “Works for me.”

 

<...>

 

For about an hour, I just let Jack work in silence. With my eyes closed, I kept trying to feel for the golden glow of the TARDIS in my head, but she just wasn’t there, like she was sleeping. I guess it was hard for her, when extensive repairs were in progress. 

 

When that failed, I worked on trying to not feel anything with my mind, which is a little bit like trying not the think about something. It didn’t take me long to give up and slam my decent walls back in place.

 

“You wanna know something funny?” I asked the TARDIS ceiling.

 

“OK,” Jack responded from where he was replacing some loose wiring under the console. “Tell me.”

 

“Before I came here, I had fainted one time in my life, when I was 17. I just, fell over in my bedroom, back home, but I couldn’t remember falling. Still don’t know why I did that. But since coming here, I think I’ve fainted or been knocked unconscious, like 10 times. That’s more than twice a month.” I turned my head to look at Jack. “17 years I went without fainting, and look at me now.” I laughed dryly, and Jack had the courtesy to chuckle. 

 

“Personal question,” he started.

 

“No promise I’ll answer,” I shot back. He shrugged and went back to work.

 

“Where was home for you?” Jack asked gently. I sighed and shifted on the jumpseat, hoping I didn’t come off as shaky as I felt.

 

“It’s the TARDIS now, obviously, but before it’s…complicated,” I decided. The Doctor hadn’t told him, and I barely had the Time Lord’s trust as is. I didn’t want to push it. “Technically, I was born in Michigan, in the American Midwest, which you knew, but…” I paused, trying to find the right words. “I’m not sure you’d even believe me.”

 

“I’m from a tiny peninsula on a human colony on a planet that hasn’t been discovered yet,” Jack countered. He crawled from under the console and starting sticking wires into the extrapolator. Alarm bells went off in my head, but I couldn’t see why. Everything seemed fine to me. “Try me.” I laughed.

 

“Oh, if only my life story were that simple.” 

 

Jack opened his mouth, probably to say something like ‘you think my life is simple?’, when the extrapolator started making a weird noise and flashing. My eyes widened when the memories came flooding back. 

 

The console sparked, rarely a good thing, and Jack stumbled back, hands over his face. I tried to get up from the jumpseat, but a particularly massive spark forced me back. Jack jumped back up and ripped the wires off the extrapolator so it wasn’t connected to the TARDIS anymore. It didn’t help. The overhead lights started trying to give me a seizure.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” I hadn’t heard the Doctor come in.

 

“It just went crazy!” Jack defended.

 

“It's the rift,” the Doctor said, running circles around the console, trying to do some form of damage control. “Time and space are ripping apart. The whole city's going to disappear!”

 

“It's the extrapolator,” Jack explained. I finally managed to get to my feet and over to the guys. I didn’t understand a thing that was happening with the machinery though. “I've disconnected it but it's still feeding off the engine! It's using the TARDIS. I can't stop it!”

 

“Never mind Cardiff, it's going to rip open the planet,” the Doctor read off the scanner.

 

“What is it?” Rose was here now too. I was already running toward her. “What's happening?”

 

“Oh, just little me,” Margaret taunted. The Doctor moved immediately, but he was too late. Margaret ripped the arm off her skin suit and made a grab for Rose. I just managed to push her out of the way, behind Margaret, so the Slitheen grabbed me instead, lifting me off the floor. I grabbed at the hand around my throat on instinct. Not like I could do anything.

 

“One wrong move and she snaps like a promise,” Margaret growled. The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks. Oh, excellent. He at least didn’t want me dead. That probably shouldn’t have reassured my as much as it did. 

 

“I might've known.” The Doctor actually looked surprised. I didn’t remember him looking surprised in the episode. Of course the Slitheen was playing some kind of game. Was he surprised I had saved Rose? Of course I had saved Rose. Was he an idiot? Well, an obvious yes on that one.

 

“I've had you bleating all night, poor baby.” Margaret dropped me enough so I could walk, and forced me forward. “Now shut it. You.” Jack turned. “Fly boy.” Jack looked offended through his glare. “Put the extrapolator at my feet.” Nobody moved. Margaret tightened her grip on my neck. I yelped at the huge claws digging into my skin. Jack didn’t wait for permission to lift the extrapolation from where he’d been working on it and putting in at her feet. I suppose he didn’t think he as going to get it from the Doctor. “Thank you.” She loosened her grip just enough that I could breathe properly again. Jack was glaring with a look to rival the Doctor’s Oncoming Storm. “Just as I planned.”

 

“I thought you needed to blow up the nuclear power station.” Rose had run the long way around the console, and was standing behind the Doctor and Jack. I managed a smile at her. She didn’t return it. For his part, Jack looked like it was taking most of his willpower not to attack Margaret.

 

“Failing that, if I were to be arrested.” Margaret drew the last word out, and ran her still suited hand over my hair. I gagged. She pressed on my throat harder. “Then anyone capable of tracking me down would have considerable technology of their own. Therefore, they would be captivated by the extrapolator. Especially a magpie mind like yours, Doctor.”  _ Mind _ . God, now I was an idiot. “So the extrapolator was programmed to go to plan B.” 

 

She yanked at my hair, which was a mistake on her part. I channeled the pain through my hands, a trick up picked up from the Sernox. Margaret dropped me. I was moving as soon as I hit ground, but even then I was too slow. Margaret snagged the back of my shirt, pulled me to her again, and stood on the extrapolator. “Well, now they’ll never understand how they died. How very clever of you.” She gripped my neck hard enough, I was sure, that it would leave bruises. I only just managed to gasp in a few breaths. “Stand back,” she spit to the others. “Surf's up.” 

 

The TARDIS console flashed green a few times before snapping open. I looked before I could stop myself. A bright light poured out, and despite the fact that I was still very much being choked to death, I felt suddenly at peace.

 

“Of course, opening the rift means you'll pull this ship apart,” the Doctor said calmly. 

 

“So sue me,” Margaret said confidently.

 

“It's not just any old power source. It's the TARDIS. My TARDIS. The best ship in the universe.” If I had to give a color to the calm in my mind, it would have been gold.

 

“It'll make wonderful scrap,” Margaret spat.

 

“What's that light?” Rose asked. I finally noticed that she wasn’t just standing behind him, but was clinging to the Doctor’s jacket. Aw, sweet. Look at those two.

 

“The heart of the TARDIS,” the Doctor explained. “This ship's alive. You've opened its soul.” I gave half a thought to channeling the calm into Margaret’s hand instead, but was too distracted to try. It felt so familiar, so nice.

 

“It's... so bright,” Margaret breathed,, captivated. I couldn’t help but agree. I also found I couldn’t look away. The typical background hum of the TARDIS in my mind became a full on song and I was crying, but I didn’t know why. 

 

“Look at it, Margaret,” the Doctor encouraged. 

 

“Beautiful,” she whispered. Margaret dropped me. Completely of someone else’s will, I took a step toward the light. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back, covering my eyes. The calm feeling snapped away, but the song stayed.

 

“Look inside, Blon Fel Fotch. Look at the light.” The Doctor’s voice was coming from above me. He had pulled me back.

 

There was a long beat of silence. The Doctor kept his hand over my eyes the whole time. Finally, Margaret whispered, “thank you,” and the song in my head reached its crescendo. I heard something hit the ground, and the Doctor’s hand was gone from my eyes.

 

“Don't look. Stay there. Close your eyes!” I heard a sound almost like a groan, and the song faded back to a hum in the back of my mind. I fell to my knees.

 

“Now, Jack, come on, shut it all down. Shut down!” I opened my eyes with a mind to help. “Katelyn, eyes closed, stay there.” I snapped my eyes closed. “Rose, that panel over there, turn all the switches to the right.” I heard buttons being pressed and the console sparking for a good thirty seconds before everything calmed down. I could tell the lights had come back up, but I still didn’t open my eyes.

 

“Nicely done.” The Doctor’s voice was getting closer. “Thank you, all.” I felt hands on my face, and almost pulled away. “You, eyes open.” When I opened my eyes, I was greeted with a very concerned look from the Doctor. I ignored the emotions that look gave me and smiled to reassure him. He took the briefest second to study my face, then dropped his hands to my neck. I winced at the smallest pressure. “No talking until I can get a better look at that.” He smiled back and dropped his hands.

 

_ Can’t speak,  _ I signed in ASL, before remembering the TARDIS did not translate sign language. I gave the Doctor a thumbs up instead.

 

“What happened to Margaret?” Rose asked. The Doctor stood back up, pulling me with him.

 

“Must've got burnt up,” Jack said, not a hint of pity in his voice. “Carried out her own death sentence.”

 

“No,” the Doctor said immediately. “I don't think she's dead.” 

 

“Then where'd she go?” Rose asked.

 

“She looked into the heart of the Tardis. Even I don't know how strong that is.” I decided not to comment that the Doctor honestly might have just missed that tidbit in How To Fly A TARDIS: 101. “And the ship's telepathic, like I told you, Rose. Gets inside your head. Translates alien languages.” The Doctor looked down at the empty skin suit on the ground. “Maybe the raw energy can translate all sorts of thoughts.” The Doctor squatted and dug around in the body suit for a minute before pulling an egg out. “Here she is.” Jack and Rose kneeled to get a closer look. 

 

“She's an egg?” Rose asked, affronted. 

 

“Regressed to her childhood.” 

 

“She's an egg?” Jack seemed more confused about the ‘egg’ part of that equation than the ‘she’s an’ part.

 

“She can start again. Live her life from scratch,” the Doctor explained. Rose tapped the egg, trying to convince herself this was real. “If we take her home, give her to a different family, tell them to bring her up properly, she might be all right!” 

 

“Or she might be worse,” Jack warned. 

 

“That's her choice.” 

 

“She's an egg,” Rose deadpanned. 

 

“She's an egg,” the Doctor agreed. 

 

“Oh, my God, Mickey,” Rose said suddenly. She ran out of the TARDIS, and I did not miss the disappointed look on the Doctor’s face as she was leaving. 

 

I stretched my hands out, and the Doctor passed my the tiny Raxacoricofallapatorian and busied himself with cleaning up all the exposed wiring. Jack joined him, after checking himself that I was ok. 

 

I contented myself to curl on the jumpseat and cradle the egg in my lap. It was cute in a weird, distinctly alien way, and I had a sudden urge to pet it. Humans. We’ll pack bond with anything.

 

It was only a few minutes before Rose came back in, much more subdued than when she had left. “We're all powered up,” the Doctor said without looking up from the console. “We can leave. Opening the rift filled us up with energy. We can go, if that's all right.” 

 

“Yeah, fine,” Rose lied. I walked over and offered a hand, keeping the egg tucked to my side with my other arm.

 

“How's Mickey?” the Doctor asked, clearly not actually caring. 

 

“He's okay. He's gone.” I didn’t miss the wave of regret Rose accidentally sent over out linked hands. I must have been  _ really _ tired if I couldn’t block something that simple.

 

“Do you want to go and find him?” The Doctor gestured to the door with his head, then made eye contact with Jack. “We'll wait.” Jack gave a ‘really?’ look. 

 

“No need. He deserves better.” I squeezed Rose’s hand, trying to reassure her without words that she  _ was _ better. I hated not being able to talk. Maybe I should teach the others ASL.

 

“Off we go, then,” the Doctor said, ignoring the awkward air. “Always moving on.” 

 

“Next stop, Raxacoricofallapatorius,” Jack offered. “Now you don't often get to say that.” 

 

“We'll just stop by and pop her in the hatchery.” The Doctor gestured to the egg on my  hip. “Margaret the Slitheen can live her life again. A second chance.”

 

“That'd be nice,” Rose said quietly.

 

<...>

 

Minutes later, on our way to drop the egg off, once Jack had finally convinced me to put the egg down, as soon as the TARDIS had reopened her hallways, the Doctor had dragged me to the medbay. He was scanning the bruises on my neck with some device and scowling the whole time. 

 

I, personally, was so goddamn uncomfortable that I was honestly prepared to just deal with the bruises and any consequences thereof if it meant getting away from scrutiny of his gaze. Why couldn’t Jack or Rose have followed us in here?

 

Finally, the Doctor pulled back and tossed the device onto a counter. “You’re fine to talk. All the damage is external.”

 

“She’s an egg,” I blurted. The Doctor just froze for a moment, then turned and gave me a look that was almost fond, but definitely confused. “Everyone else said it,” I defended, slightly sheepish. The Doctor just shook his head and continued digging around in a cabinet. Eventually, he handed me a pill of some kind and glass of water.

 

“Take this.” I did. “It’s a painkiller-” A bolt of warmth shot up my my throat from my stomach. I shuddered at the sudden change. “Also heats up the iron in your blood to create an internal heat to-”

 

“I just took a pill that made my blood into a heating pad?” The Doctor rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

 

“If you want to take all the fun out of it,” the Doctor complained. 

 

“Me? Take the fun out? Never!” I said, jokingly affronted, which only made the Doctor roll his eyes again. “I just summarized what surely would have been a speech into a sentence. Now we have time for jokes and… stuff. If anything I  _ add  _ fun.” The Doctor laughed at that. I tried not to show exactly how relieved I was that he was laughing at my jokes again.

 

I hopped off the bed I’d been sitting on, ready to leave the room and finally get more than a sip of  _ goddamn water _ . Unfortunately, in that exact moment, the Doctor had taken a step toward me, so when I actually slipped from the bed, I just awkwardly crashed into his chest. 

 

Any apology I had planned died before it reached my lips when the Doctor’s response to the awkward moment was to  _ hug me _ . Any following coherent thought died when I realized exactly how much I had needed that, and hugged back. 

 

Acceptance, friendship, from Rose was nice, brilliant even. It was something I’d expected and leaned into hard when the grief got particularly bad. But she was a being made of near pure compassion. I hadn’t really had to work for her, no one had.

 

Acceptance and friendship from Jack was nice, wonderful, if I really thought about all he’d done for me. But we’d bantered for two minutes and that had been enough for him to basically adopt me as a sibling. I didn’t have to work for his trust when I’d shown him he had mine right from the beginning.

 

Acceptance from the Doctor? That was something I  _ needed, _ like a physical itch I’d finally managed to scratch. It had been hard; it had taken way more work than I had ever expected. I failed, and yet aced, apparently, my second chance. 

 

Even with all that in mind, I should have been embarrassed how quickly I melted into the Time Lord’s embrace, how tightly I hugged him back. It should have been uncomfortable or weird when I turned my head to listen to his heartsbeat. I should have been confused when he didn’t pull away. 

 

I wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are coming up for this stressed as shit college student, so after this chapter I’ll be taking a two-week hiatus until my semester is over. Assuming the next chapter after this isn’t as much of a bitch as ‘Four Month’s New’ was, the next update will come on April 27th.


	7. As Close to Home

Dropping Blon Fel Fotch (not longer Passameer-Day Slitheen) at a nursery on her planet was surprisingly easy and less surprisingly very stealthy. We had to drop her off without anyone noticing, and we had to register her in the nursery’s computing system so as not to arise suspicion. It took a while, meaning it had been about 18 hours since the last time I or Rose or Jack had slept. As such, the Doctor allowed us humans a night of rest after our romp around Raxacoricofallapatorius, and then it was off into time and space again. Team TARDIS, always on the run.

The next morning, even though it was still technically my turn, Rose insisted on making us breakfast alone as thanks to me for saving her life. Of course, I told her she didn’t need to bribe me with food to want to keep her alive, which made her roll her eyes. My protest was more for show than anything else, of course. It was nice to be thanked, plus Rose was a pretty good cook.

The Doctor didn’t come in for breakfast, which wasn’t too unusual. He rarely, if ever, slept at night, so we just assumed most mornings he ate before we humans had even woken up.

Jack didn’t seem to think the Doctor’s absence was as completely benign as I did. He sat a bit closer to me than he usually did, and seemed kind of tense the whole meal. Rose did not. She seemed to think by now that the Doctor randomly dumping me in 2018 had been temporary insanity, or something similar, on his part. As far as I was concerned, Rose had it right. In my mind, the Doctor was forgiven, and my abandonment didn’t warrant thinking about anymore.

Because the Doctor never even came in to the galley, we all gathered in the now wireless control room. The Doctor must have cleaned up while we were sleeping, which made sense. Floating in the Vortex, what else was a bored Time Lord to do?

Speaking of, the Last of the Time Lords was circling around the console in what was obviously a pace. I tried to have a silent debate with the others over why this definitely weird behavior was happening, but seeing as I was the only telepath, and no one was looking at me, I really just ended up debating myself.

After almost a full minute of the Doctor pacing and us humans standing in awkward silence, the Doctor stopped pacing and sighed. The TARDIS hum in my head spiked, almost excited. It occured to me the Time Lord and the Time Ship might have been having a mental debate of their own, and that the ship had just won.

After another few seconds of silence, Rose gave in. “What the plan then? Where’re we going?”

“Well, I was thinking Japan, Kyoto, maybe sometime in the 14th century, but-” The Doctor crossed the space between us in in two steps. I could feel Jack bristle protectively behind me, but I knew the Doctor wasn’t mad. I’d been on the receiving end of his glares before, and he was not wearing one now. “-I owe you an apology. Where do you want to go?” I pointed to myself, since my brain seemed to forget every word in every language. “Yes, you.”

“I… um…” My brain apparently short-circuited. “You don’t need to apologize,” I said. The Doctor crossed his arms, and leaned back against the console. He expression would have been exasperated if his eyes weren’t so soft. Woah. What the hell had been in that message Thirteen gave me? Or was this just because I’d saved Rose yesterday? I hadn’t even really saved her. She would have been fine, just bruised.

“Yes, he does,” Jack argued from behind me.

“I already-” I started.

“I for one want to see where our mystery girl will take us,” Rose teased, sliding her arm over my shoulders and beaming. Even the TARDIS buzzed reproach and insistence in my head.

I looked around the console room, completely taken aback. I… This was what I had wanted at the beginning. This was what I had wanted when I thought about this as a kid. This was what I had wanted when I’d first started watching Doctor Who. It was nothing short of surreal that it was happening now. I was stunned, to say the least.

The Doctor huffed impatiently after about two seconds. “Hey!” I protested. “Cut me some slack here. All of time and space I’ve got to choose from. You could’ve given me a warning last night! That’s a lot of opt-” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

The Doctor saw the exact moment I made my decision, and made a face. I understood the warning easily. Any place you remember from your world might not exist here.

“Um… It’s not anything fancy or exotic, but there’s this one place…”

<...>

Katelyn was up and out the TARDIS doors before the Doctor even had a chance to check that he’d gotten the flight right (not that he would have), or before any of the rest of them had gotten the chance to stand up. When he heard her scream on the other side of the doors, he was terrified that he’d gotten them very, very wrong, but then Katelyn came running back in, and he knew he’d gotten it right for once.

Katelyn was beaming, smiling wider than he’d ever seen her smile. She ran toward and then threw her arms around the Doctor. He hugged her back. “It looks exactly the same,” Katelyn whispered, so the others wouldn’t hear. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” the Doctor whispered back. He admitted to himself that the TARDIS had been in the right in their argument. It was better having Katelyn pick their destination. Kyoto would have been fine, but it wouldn’t have gotten this reaction out of her.

Katelyn pulled back from the hug with wild eyes, excitement quickly taking over her entire person. “We-we need-” Katelyn all but threw herself at the nearest coral strut and climbed up to the raised pathway above. The Doctor watched, completely bemused, as she pulled three blankets out from god only knows where and tossed them down to the main console room floor.

“Wh-where did you hide those?” the Doctor sputtered. “I was up there yesterday!” He was up there last night too, and there had been no blankets.

“Yep!” Katelyn said cheerfully, climbing down from the pathway. The TARDIS tinkled a laugh in the back of his head. “Good luck finding the ones I hid in the galley.” Katelyn’s face lit up even more. “We should have a picnic!” she declared, before dashing down the hallway.

“Wh-why would she have blankets in the galley?” the Doctor asked the room, genuinely astonished, once again, at how humans worked. Both the other humans shrugged. OK, apparently that was just how Katelyn Laurin worked. He needed to start paying attention to that.

<...>

Bigger-on-the-inside backpack loaded with all the supplies I could think we could need for the day, I stepped out of the TARDIS doors and out into a blast of hot, heavy air.

Camp Willow Brook was exactly the same in this world as it was in the one I had left. The TARDIS was parked next to the giant, gnarled Black Willow tree that gave the camp it’s Romantic name, the one campers stood in front of to sing when all we really wanted to do was eat, the one I had gotten yelled at for climbing when I was eight. I ran my hand along the bark fondly. How many years had I stood by this tree?

  
Across the meadow from the Willow tree was the Lodge, the place where campers finally got to sit down and eat, where we would congregates on rainy days, where we would watch a movie lying on the dirty hardwood. The bathrooms hadn’t been renovated since 70s and the kitchen was new in the 90s. The foundation was iffy and years of campers had probably caused structural damage jamming to Bohemian Rhapsody. The outside hadn’t been painted in years and the doors didn’t really close anymore. But so many of my treasured memories had been made in that place.

Behind the Lodge would be the annoyingly steep hill up to the cabins. The cabins were in much the same shape as the Lodge, except with slightly newer shower heads in the showers and much better fans. Sleeping in the Lodge was torture, but sleeping in the cabin was actually pretty nice. I wasn’t sure I could convince myself to sleep in them tonight though. Perhaps in the cabins there were too many memories.

Down the worn dirt path to our left was the first lake I ever fished in, overstuffed with seaweed (which was absolutely disgusting to land on when you jumped in) and lilypads (which were too dense to swim or paddle through). Although, it was fairly easy to avoid the patches, as the lake water was very clear most of the time. It also made fishing easy, if you weren’t too much of a soft soul to refuse to even bait a hook, like I was.

“Why June, 2007?” Jack asked, snapping me back to the present. He’d left his coat behind and generally looked very relaxed. It made my smile even wider to know that my friend was just as happy to be here as I was. In fact, my cheeks were starting to hurt and tears were prickling in the edges of my eyes, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I was here.

“It’s a summer camp,” I explained slowly, as if Jack were very stupid. “If we’re going to do today right, we had to come during the summer.” I turned in a circle again, still scarcely able to believe I was here. “But we don’t want to run across any children-” I paused, very nearly letting the secret slip. “Especially me. Timelines and what not.” I looked back at the group. “Camp was closed for 2007. Temporary budget cuts. We couldn’t even hire a caretaker. We’ve got the whole place to the four of us. No chance of being caught trespassing”

“I was expecting you to pick Disney World,” Rose mused, cheeky as always. “It’s beautiful here.”

“I know. Wait ‘til you see the sunset over the lake tonight,” I sighed. “Also, I’m picking Disney next time,” I shot back, only barely remembering to be cheeky right back. There was a moment of silence, so I turned to look at the others. Rose was smiling at me in that knowing way of hers; Jack was just smiling; the Doctor looked a bit confused. I mirrored the Time Lord’s expression. “What is it?”

“Who is this new confident woman and what has she done with our Katelyn Laurin?” Jack teased. I felt my face scrunch up in even more confusion.

“This is what I’m always like?” I said, my voice spiking at the end. Rose shook her head.

“This is what you’re like on the TARDIS,” Rose corrected. I locked eyes with the Doctor.

“Why do you look as confused as I feel? Am I not always like this?” I asked. The Doctor shook his head.

“Katelyn, I’ve never seen you this comfortable,” he responded. I paused for a moment, then shrugged. This was, is, and had always been my happy place. Maybe I was more confident here than anywhere else in public. Or maybe it was just that I knew the day was only going to involve me and three people that I knew well, two of which I was very comfortable around already. As far as I was concerned, it didn’t matter why, only that I was feeling very comfortable.

“Let’s not waste my good mood then!” I announced to the others.

<...>

We started off with a hike around camp, in which I got to show off that I do actually have a good sense of direction when I’m at least a little familiar with my surroundings.

“Careful, there’s poison ivy everywhere,” I mumbled, stepping to avoid a third patch in twice as many steps. Earlier, I had opted for shorts, to counteract the fact that it was 80 fucking degrees Fahrenheit. It had turned out to be a Mistake™, as I now had to watch every step, instead of just remembering to wash the pants I would have worn.

“How do you what’s poison ivy?” Rose asked. “Also, why don’t we want to touch the poison ivy?”

I simply pointed to a patch and told her “If the leaves are three, let it be” as I had been taught as a child. The Doctor immediately launched into a much longer and more complicated explanation that I completely ignored. I hadn’t gotten poison ivy in the first 18 years of my life with little more to go on than what I’d told Rose, so I certainly wasn’t going to bother learning now. Not when I could devote so much more attention the the world around me.

I’d forgotten how much I loved the simple, standard beauty of the American midwest. I’d grown up here, after all. This place was my normal. Just like the down day in London with Thirteen, I hadn’t realized how much I had needed this day. The whole morning, I kept trailing off mid-sentence, because I was so re-captivated by the world around me. I honest to God nearly cried when I heard a chickadee call, which was embarrassing to explain to the others.

“I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed all this,” I said, wiping at my misty eyes. Jack came over and hugged me. “And if I don’t stop crying I’m gonna miss more of it.” I felt more than heard Jack’s chuckle, but I heard Rose and the Doctor’s laughs.

I also learned (although I’d always sort of expected) the Ninth Doctor had trouble with a down day when he couldn’t also just whisk Rose away. It was his usual move on days where the running was minimum and voluntary. He would leave me and Jack behind, and the two of us would giggle at the not-couple together. All through the morning the Doctor was figgity and constantly blurting out information about whatever plant or animal we were standing closest to.

Around noon, we humans decided we’d have enough sweating and swatting at mosquitoes (the one thing I had not missed) and wanted to go swimming. The Doctor retreated to the TARDIS almost immediately, probably not wanting to wear anything less than two layers.

<...>

Katelyn shrieked and swam to the other side of the lily pad free area. Rose sat upright on the dock just in time to see Jack pop up from underwater and immediately start cracking up.

“JACK HARKNESS, YOU CLASS A MOTHERFUCKING!” Katelyn screamed so loud it almost echoed across the lake. Rose covered her mouth to hide her laugh. Jack was doing no such thing, laughing as hard as Rose had ever seen him. “DON’T LAUGH AT ME YOU JACKASS!” Katelyn kept screaming.

Jack was laughing so hard that he didn’t notice Katelyn swim over and sweep her arms through the water. For his prank, Jack got a mouth and noseful of lake water. It was Katelyn’s turn to laugh and Jack’s turn to fling indignant curses, the loudest of which was ‘tiny Murondian gremlin’.

It struck Rose that this might be what having siblings was like. She rather liked it, like she loved most of the things life with the Doctor had introduced her to.

“What happened here?” the Doctor asked. Rose looked over her shoulder to see the Time Lord coming up the dock to where she was sitting and smiled.

“Jack swam under and grabbed Katelyn's ankle. Katelyn splashed him back.” Rose looked back out to the water where it looked liked the shorter, smaller Katelyn was now trying to dunk the taller, stronger Jack. She was not having much luck, but damn if that meant she would stop trying. “I think they’re at war now.”

The Doctor smiled his ‘silly little apes’ smile and sat down next to Rose. “And why have you chosen neutrality?” Rose scowled.

“Seaweed,” she said darkly. “Is the worst.” It was a shame too. Rose was fairly baking on the dock. The lake’s water had been cool and clear and absolutely wonderful. Clear enough, in fact, that she really should have seen the patch of seaweed her feet had had the misfortune of landing on. Clear enough that she’d been able to watch Jack’s entire underwater approach on Katelyn. Clear enough that Katelyn should have seen it too, had she not been explaining the difference between water snakes (not deadly) and water moccasins (also snakes, but very deadly) to Rose.

The Doctor laughed. “So I’ve heard.”

“VICTORY!” Katelyn cried. The two on the dock turned back toward the water. Katelyn had managed, somehow, to get Jack’s legs out from under him and shoved him under the water. He popped back up, sputtering and coughing, cursing Katelyn everytime he managed to get an actual breath in.

Still laughing her victory, Katelyn swam over to the dock and climbed out of the lake. Rose passed her her towel, trying very hard not to show how she was laughing. Before Katelyn could grab it, Jack climbed on the dock right behind her, grabbed her, and threw her back into the lake.

“REVENGE!” Jack declared.

Rose finally let loose the laughter she’d been trying to hide. She laughed so hard she fell on her back on the dock and completely missed Katelyn’s outraged expression when she popped back out of the water and shouted some very creative obscenities at Jack.

“That was just cruel, Captain,” the Doctor said, smiling. “I think I’m on Katelyn’s side on this one.”

“Well, you can’t always be right,” Jack responded. When Katelyn pulled herself out of the lake this time, she immediately ran to the shore end of the dock. “I could still get you over there,” Jack warned.

“And I know where you sleep, Harkness,” Katelyn shot back. The two people with American accents glared at each other for a minute before bursting into laughter. Everyone walked over to where Katelyn was standing. Rose handed Katelyn her towel, for real this time, and the young woman wrapped herself in it.

“So,” Rose began. “Lunch?”

<...>

Well into the evening, after lunch and running all around camp like I was a toddler again and then dinner and my favorite sunset in the entire universe (in any universe), we were finally setting up to spend the night. I’d wanted to camp. Properly camp, not return to the TARDIS or go to the cabins to sleep. Jack, as he usually was, was all in to camp with me, and Rose was always up for new experiences, so she was camping too.

In the last, fading lights of the day, we started setting up our camp on a hill overlooking the lake. I was already crying internally at the thought of all the mosquitos. The Doctor claimed the sleeping tents we were using were completely bug resistance, but I knew those buzzy little fuckers better than him, and I was sure I’d end up with at least five bites by morning.

Jack was lighting a fire in the premade fire pit, while Rose, the Doctor, and I were setting up the tents we humans would be sleeping in that night. The team of Rose and the Doctor had managed to put up two whole tents in the time it had taken me to get the main supports up for mine.

After everything was sent up and the fire was roaring, I started digging around in my backpack. “What’s in the bag of activities now?” Rose acked, tongue in her teeth. I made a show of yanking out a bag of marshmallows so fast I nearly threw them behind me.

“S’mores, bitches!” I cheered. I tossed the bag onto the picnic table next to the campfire and dug around for the other two ingredients of the classic American camping snack/dessert. My favorite childhood snack, in fact. I’d even learned how to make them in a microwave during the winter months.

Rose picked up the bag of marshmallows and grinned. “I’ve always wanted to try s’mores.”

“One of the things we got better on this side of the Atlantic,” I cheered. Rose’s eyes sparkled with mischief across the fire. I fought down a smile.

“Unlike your spelling,” Rose teased. “Or your slang.”

“I’ll give you the ‘u’ in favorite, but I draw a line at ‘centre’,” I responded. “It makes no sense.”

“It comes from French originally,” the Doctor informed us. “Centre is pronounced ‘San-Truh’, while in english you pronounce it ‘Sen-Ter’. It's all about origins of words.” I paused in my marshmallow preparation and scowled.

“God damn it,” I sighed, scrunching my face in annoyance. “I hate that that was a logical argument. That means I can’t dispute it.” Out of the corner if my eye, I caught Jack and Rose exchange a look.

I could guess what they were thinking. They were probably nearly as glad as I was that the Doctor and I were getting along now. Or maybe they were just waiting for something to happen and for us to snap right back to where we’d been two days ago.

They had nothing to fear from my end. My day with Thirteen had finally shown me that I had also been part of the problem. I hadn’t considered the situation from the Doctor’s side. The Doctor hadn’t trusted me, and I’d always resented him for it. I thought he’d trust me if he’d just get to know me.

But of course I trusted me. I had the benefit of existing in my own head. I knew I was a good person; I knew I was about as stubborn as a human being could be; I knew there was nothing that would ever cause me to betray the Doctor. The Doctor had not been in my head, and for good reason. My head held dangerous information, dangerous for good and bad people to find. At least I knew how to protect it now.

Jack made a confused face. For a brief, somewhat terrifying, second, I thought I’d said some of my musings out loud, but then he spoke.

“Aren’t you supposed to get sticks for these?” he asked, holding up a marshmallow between two fingers and squishing it.

“If you want.” I pulled a marshmallow fork out of the backpack. “I, for one, am going to enjoy the wonders of modern technology. Or” I paused, having a thought I somehow hadn’t had before. “I guess ancient technology for you. God, that’s weird to think about.”

I speared a marshmallow and squatted next to the fire. I tucked the marshmallow end of the stick in at the bottom and rotated it very slowly. I had a well developed, methodical approach to roasting my marshmallows. Unlike Jack, who just stuck his stick right into the flames. The marshmallow almost immediately burst into flames and fell off the stick.

“Good to know there’s at least one thing I'm certifiably better at than all of you,” I said, not looking away from my marshmallow. I had a method, thank you, and I was not going to stray from it.

Halfway through our second s’more each, mostly made by me, Rose perked up again. “Wait! Aren’t we supposed to tell scary stories or something right now.” .

“If you want,” I offered. I shrugged, trying to not to show how much I didn’t want. I think I failed trying not to look nervous as I started cleaning up what was left of the s’mores supplies.

“Katelyn, are you afraid of ghost stories?” the Doctor asked, highly amused and not bothering to hide it. I felt my face flush red, and didn’t respond, which was probably not the best response.

“What?!” Jack cried. “No way! Our Katelyn, afraid of ghost stories?”

“Shut up!” I cried reflexively, apparently reverting to being in Middle School.

“You weren’t afraid of a raging Slitheen yesterday,” Jack said.

“You ran at her,” the Doctor said like he still couldn’t believe it.

“I’m not scared,” I lied. “I just don’t like them.” The Doctor’s expression shifted, taking on that spark of mischief that Rose and Jack had been wearing all day. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“I’ve got a good one,” the Doctor started. I shrunk back down to where I’d been sitting before. I was sure it was a good story, which meant it would be very scary, which meant I didn’t want to hear it.

“Go on then,” Rose prompted.

The Doctor launched into his story which I did my very best to ignore, and failed entirely. I checked out into my tent after the Doctor’s story, frankly too scared to have my back exposed to the darkness of camp a moment longer.

Jack and Rose told a story each, that I was slightly more successful in ignoring, then the Doctor checked out to. I heard him say he was going on a walk, then heard his footsteps retreat toward the forest. I wasn’t really that surprised that the Doctor wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Although, I had been rooting for him to end up sharing a tent with Rose. God only knows the two of them deserved some alone time before the shit that was about to go down tomorrow.

Oh, brilliant. That thought definitely wasn’t going to help me go to sleep.

<...>

By the time the Doctor came back from his walk around the property of Camp Willow Brook, the fire had been put out, and at least two of the humans had tucked themselves into their tents. When he went over to check, it was the purple tent that was empty.

Katelyn was down at the lake. The Doctor found her sitting curled up on the end of the dock, her knees pulled up to her chest, just staring out at the dark water. He paused for a moment to observe her. Even sitting, alone, well into the night and in a forest of all places, she looked more at peace than he’d ever seen her. Her posture was relaxed, even as she grabbed a rock from what he realized was a pile next to her. She threw it sideways, and the Doctor watched the rock skip once before sinking.

He watched Katelyn fail to skip two more rocks before speaking. “You should be sleeping,” he said just loud enough that she would hear. Not loud enough that he might wake up the others sleeping on the hill. Katelyn started, which made the Doctor smile a smile he probably shouldn’t have smiled.

“Tried that,” she said quietly. “Didn’t work.” She didn’t move, beside relaxing back to her peaceful posture, and didn’t turn around, even as the Doctor walked over the creaking wood and sat next to her. “I can’t stop thinking.”

The Doctor huffed a laugh. “Trust me, I know. What are you thinking about?”

“Yes,” Katelyn laughed. “But mainly how long it’s been since I was here.” She stretched and fell back so she was laying down on the dock. “It’s 2007. Last time I was here was August 2018 in a different universe. It’s been -11 years, Earth time. But for me it’s been…”

Katelyn was silent for long enough that the Doctor looked over at her. She was staring at the stars, clearly trying to blink back tears, but definitely failing. “Katelyn?”

“How long ago did we celebrate Rose’s birthday?” she asked, so quietly the Doctor was sure he wouldn’t have heard it if he’d been human.

“A week,” the Doctor answered immediately. Katelyn fished around in her pocket for a while, before pulling out the lighter she’d used to light the fire earlier in the night. She flicked it on, then blew the fire out. “What was that for?”

“Today was my birthday. I’m 19 now.” She paused, and he could see all the conflicting emotions dancing across her face. “Always thought it would be nice to spend my birthday here.” She rolled over and fixed her eyes on where the TARDIS was almost visible. “I wonder if she knew.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” the Doctor admitted. The old girl had been insistent that Katelyn choose the destinations of this trip. He hadn’t wanted to let her choose, just in case wherever she decided to go was a place that didn’t exist in this universe. He’d had several plans, Kyoto had just been the one he’d settled on.

“I’d put money on it,” Katelyn said. “She made me Willow Brook as a room.” Surprised, the Doctor looked over to the TARDIS as well.

“She dotes on you,” the Doctor said. It wasn’t a new revelation of his, but knowing that his TARDIS had made Katelyn her own, special, non-bedroom room certainly confirmed it. He had a guess as to why, and it was one of the reasons he’d been so terrible to her.

“I know she does.” Katelyn turned back around on the dock and sat up. “But no more than she dotes on you.” Katelyn’s eyes sparkled with mischief, like she knew she was laying bait, and really wanted him to take it.

The Doctor was struck, not for the first time, by how well this little human knew him. He was saddened, for the first time, that he practically didn’t know her at all. That was his fault, through and through. He hadn’t wanted to get to know her, hadn’t wanted to start treating her like a companion, because he was… afraid. Always the coward, him. Running whenever it was an option.

He must have taken too long to respond, because Katelyn dropped her eyes and picked up another stone and flicked it out over the water. It skipped twice and then sunk.

“Why are you throwing rocks at the lake?” the Doctor asked. Katelyn sighed.

“They’re not supposed to sink,” Katelyn mumbled. “I just can’t get the trajectory right for them to skip.” The Doctor grabbed a stone from the stop of the pile. He studied for a few seconds, running some very quick, very simple calculations, then flicked the rock out over the surface of the lake. It skipped about ten times, making it almost all the way to the other side of the lake.

“Oh, fuck you,” Katelyn said empathically. The Doctor smile turned smug.

“It’s not that hard.”

“You show off.”

“That’s me!” the Doctor cheered.

The two laughed together for minute, which felt really nice, until Katelyn’s laugh was interrupted with a yawn. “Finally tired, are you?” the Doctor asked, slightly cheeky.

“I’ve been tired the whole time, Doc,” she said. “I just can’t relax enough to fall asleep.” The two fell silent, and just listened. They were silent long enough that the Doctor thought maybe Katelyn had fallen asleep, but then she spoke.

“Doctor?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

  
Tell me a story?” She asked it quietly, gently even, as if she were completely convinced he would say no. He looked over at her. Katelyn was curled up on her side, looking like she was fighting to keep her eyes open. It was clearly a losing battle.

“You probably know them all already,” the Doctor said, fighting his own internal battle against the fear that thought brought him. Katelyn shook her head.

“Not all of them,” Katelyn slurred. Even if he started speaking, it was hard to say whether or not Katelyn would even make it through a sentence before passing out. “I barely know anything from before the war.” Oh, she had said that before, hadn’t she? She knew his future, not his past. He had a lot of stories he could tell. “Not that I wouldn’t mind hearing a story I know.” Her eyes blinked open for a second. “Is that how you English?”

“Mostly, yeah.” Katelyn’s eyes slid back closed. “Katelyn you can’t sleep on the dock.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she mumbled. The Doctor sighed. Humans.

“Will you move if I tell you a story?” he asked. Katelyn hummed a yes. The Doctor looked back out over the water. “Once, I got stuck in 1911 with lethal Egyptian mummies, and an Egyptian god. No, the god was an alien actually. One of the Osirians. The last of the Osirians, actually. Sutekh was trying to escape his entombment and kill every living thing in existence.” The Doctor paused. “Seems quite a lot of people want to do that, for some reason.”

Now that was exactly the kind of random thought that always got a comment out of Katelyn (if not all his companions), so when it was meet with silence, the Doctor looked back over at Katelyn.

She was completely asleep, curled into a ball on the wood of the dock. She looked so young. Well, she was, he supposed, even by human standards. She was only a year younger than Rose, after all. Even though she was technically 13 years younger than Rose.

Katelyn also slept like the dead, the Doctor noted. Asleep on the dock, Katelyn barely looked like she was breathing, and even his superior Time Lord hearing could barely make out the sound of her breaths. Humans were so fragile, so transient. Do one thing wrong and they were gone in the blink of an eye. Even if you did, if they did, everything right, it was still practically only an instant and they were gone.

Maybe that’s why the humans that traveled with him were so often so forgiving. They saw how precious little time they had and didn’t waste it by holding a grudge. If only, the Doctor thought to himself, he could have learned that little lesson a few months ago. Then, Katelyn Laurin wouldn’t have had to prove how forgiving she was, because he would have had nothing to apologize for.

Well, other than putting her and Rose’s and Jack’s lives on the line about every other day, but that was pretty well out of his control at this point, if he was being honest with himself.

<...>

I swam back to consciousness slowly the next morning. The air was damp and warm, a reminder to me of why I’d never chosen to slept in tents when camping. Wait, I was in my tent? I could distinctly remember falling asleep on the dock the night before, halfway through some story about a mummy that was actually an alien or some such.

I smiled to myself. The Doctor must have moved me, the giant softie. People back home had always said the ninth Doctor was edgy. But he was the same Doctor that cheered ‘everybody lives’, that same Doctor that made shitty puns at the worst times, the same Doctor that would smile with his whole face every time something was even slightly amusing. The ‘edgy’ Doctor was the same Doctor that was incapable of saying no to one Rose Tyler, the same Doctor that saved Jack despite his initial dislike for him, the same Doctor that hadn’t let me sleep on sketchy hardwood over a lake.

The smile dropped off my face. That’s why I had wanted to give him more time in that body. I knew, I’d always known, the Doctor is always the Doctor, regardless of face, deposition, or even biological sex. But I’d wanted more time for this Doctor. And now there was nothing I could do. Unless…

I sat up so quickly I bumped my head on the top of the tent. It would be tricky. My window of time to save not just this Doctor, but possibly a hundred other lives would be tiny. I had no proof it would even work, and it would almost certainly cause my death whether it worked or not, but there was a chance. And that chance was all I needed.

Wow, when did I get so brave?

I tried not to show that I expected this to be my last sunrise when I walked down to the dock to watch the thing that gave Earth life rise over the lake where I first learned how to swim. I tried not to show that I’d just made an incredibly dangerous decision as Team TARDIS gathered around a fire in the morning to make breakfast. I tried not to show that I was already mourning the life I didn’t think I would get to live when the Doctor came out of the TARDIS to join us, and we all joked that there were other hobbies than tinkering under the console.

I think I succeeded, because no one questioned me about my mood the whole morning. Well, I guess it might just have been that it was a well established fact that I was not a morning person. The others could have just chalked my mood up to the fact that it was the morning, and I didn’t want to leave this place that I loved so much and so clearly.

But when we got into the TARDIS and took off, I nearly broke.

This was it.

This was the end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry how late this chapter was. I really have no excise other than I got lazy when school got out. I promise it won’t happen again, since this story only has two chapters left until it’s done!
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me, and see you in the next one!


	8. Bad Wolf

The whole damn world was spinning around the Doctor, making it hard, but not impossible for him to get upright. “What is it? What's happening?” he asked on reflex, no longer used to being alone. The Doctor couldn’t see really, but that didn’t keep him from crashing into whatever it was that he was crashing into. Well, he was upright now. Maybe they were- Yup, cause there was a door. The Doctor burst through said door as his knees gave out and he face planted onto the floor.

 

_ You know what,  _ he thought to himself.  _ This is fine. The floor is significantly less spinny. _

 

“Oh, my God!” said a young woman’s voice somewhere off to his left. The Doctor managed to lift his head off the ground and watch the woman approach. Unfortunately, she was neither of the two young woman he had been hoping to see. “I don't believe it! Why'd they put you in there?” The woman bent down and helped the Doctor get to his feet. “They never said you were coming.”

 

“W-What happened?” he asked weakly. “I was-” She was really doing most of the work on this whole ‘standing up’ thing, as the world was still a bit wobbly for the Doctor.

 

“Careful now,” she advised. Then she lost her grip on the Doctor’s arms, and he found himself face down in the carpet again. “Oh, mind yourself! Oh, that's the transmat. It scrambles your head. I was sick for days.” The Doctor managed to get to his feet mostly on his own this time, although the floor was still very unsteady under his feet. Or maybe that was just his feet? “All right? So, what's your name then, sweetheart?” the woman asked cheerfully.

 

“The Doctor, I think,” he responded. “I was, uh.” He kept reaching for the memory, but it stayed frustratingly out of reach. “I don't know, what happened?” 

 

“You got chosen,” the young woman said plainly. And here the Doctor had been thinking he couldn’t get anymore confused. 

 

“Chosen for what?” he had to ask. 

 

“You're a housemate. You're in the house,” the woman laughed. “Isn't that brilliant?” The… what? The Doctor finally looked around. Over in what appeared to be the living room of “the house” were two other, rather angry looking humans. They were standing in front of a TV which had a pink screen with a stylised eye on it. Hold on… did he recognize that?

 

“That's not fair,” the man complained. “We've got eviction in five minutes! I've been here for all nine weeks, I've followed the rules, I haven't had a single warning, and then he comes swanning in.” Eviction. No this was definitely starting to feel like something the Doctor had seen before.

 

“If they keep changing the rules, I'm going to protest, I am,” said the other young woman in the room, the one standing by the TV. The Doctor looked around the room more, finding it garishly decorated and rather overflowing in cameras. “You watch me, I'm going to paint the walls. 

 

He’d just caught sight of a completely black window when a robotic voice called out “would the Doctor please come to the Diary Room?” He looked up toward the speakers, then behind him when an electric lock buzzed and clicked open. There was a door with that same stylized eye on it, so he stumbled over and pulled it open.

 

The best way to solve a mystery, the Doctor found, was to simply go along with it until it proved to be deadly.

 

On the other side of the door was a small room with wall covered in black soundproofing panels and a single red chair in the center. When the Doctor went and sat in the chair, a small panel opened to reveal a camera pointed directly at his face.

 

“You are live on channel forty-four thousand,” the robot voice informed him. “Please do not swear.” Oh, he had been right. He did recognize this.

 

“You have got to be kidding,” he groaned.

 

<...>

 

“I’m sorry, but you’ve got to get up.” A voice broke through the clouds in my head rather rudely. I reached out on instinct to smack the ‘snooze’ button on my phone. It was too early, or something, probably. And why did my head feel like I’d just run through 83 brick walls?

 

“Really, you have to get up,” the voice insisted. Someone’s hand found my arm and yanked me vaguely upright. The pain ebbed, the clouds taking over. Where the hell was I? “We’re on in a minute.”

 

Oh.

 

_ Bad Wolf. _

 

Of course. This was it. 

 

I let the person who’d woken me up help me to my feet, and over to the poorly lit, curved desk. I stared down at the board in front of me, memories of much earlier than the last couple of days trickling back into my head. Hold on, I knew this game. The spinny thing was familiar in a way. 

 

I kept shaking my head, trying to get what I was pretty sure was a fully functioning brain to turn back on. Something told me I was going to need it. I think… I think I could remember watching this game show on TV with my grandma?

 

“Alright,” shouted a sudden woman with a headset. Where had she come from? Oh, this was not boding well. “We’re on now in 5… 4…” She counted down the last three number on her fingers and spun out of the way of the camera.

 

“Hello viewers!” cheered a prerecorded voice from the rafters. “Thank you for joining us on channel 15, 484 and welcome tooooooo-” There was a long pause, filled only by what was surely the game’s theme song. “Wheel. Of. Fortune!”

 

Oh, fuck me.

 

This was partially a game of chance. I might die here before I even got a chance to sacrifice my life. 

 

I glanced down at the board in front of me. It was mostly the same as the board I was used to in the not deadly version of Wheel of Fortune that I was used to. The only difference was that the ‘lose a turn’ space was now the only space that said ‘bankrupt’ and the spaces that used to say ‘bankrupt’ now said ‘misfortune’. Technically the term ‘misfortune’ was vague and didn’t necessarily mean sudden death, but I could hazard a guess that you  _ really  _ didn’t want your spin to land on the two misfortune spaces.

 

I looked over to my right at the other two contestants. One was the young man who had helped me over. He was maybe a few years older than me, and shaking with nerves. He was dressed much as I was, which is to say, casually, like he hadn’t been expecting this. On his right was a much older man, probably in his sixties, dressed to the nines. He seemed more annoyed than anything, which made me even more nervous. That was the stance of a man who was certain of a win.

 

The overhead speakers started blasting canned applause. “Ladies and gentlemen, here are the stars of America’s game: Pat Droid and Vanna Droid.” Two androids rolled on stage, looking like they’d been designed in the late 1950s. They almost looked silly, not that them looking silly would help me stay calm in any way. 

 

The two droids split up and took their places. “Let’s go to the first toss up,” the Pat Droid droned immediately. “Category is Ancient Earth Phrases.” I snapped my buzzer up as the start sound effect played, so shaky it was hard keeping my thumb over the button. 

 

The screen across the way lit up with white squares. Oh, God. That was a lot of letters. No. Deep breath. How many words? 7, and one was ‘a’ or an ‘I’, cause it was only one letter. The first word was either ‘don’t’ or ‘won’t’ or ‘isn’t’ based on where the apostrophe was sitting. Ok. Maybe I could do this.

 

The letters started blinking in. A ‘D’ at the beginning. That word was don’t then. A ‘W’ in the last word. A ‘K’, no, two ‘K’s on the middle words. OH!

 

I buzzed in. The other two contestants spun to look at me, surprise written on both their faces. “Katelyn,” the Pat Droid said.

 

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” I announced, managing to keep my voice from shaking as much as my hands were.

 

“Correct,” droned the Pat Droid. Across the room, the formally still Vanna Droid clapped politely. “That’s one safety net for you.” Another sound effect. “Let’s find out about you. 

 

“Katelyn Laurin, from-” The Pat Droid made an ungodly error sound that very nearly made me laugh. How could one track and label a transmat from the Vortex after all? “You’re-”

 

“I’m a full time student,” I blurted before the android could make another error noise. “I travel through ti- I travel around and spend my time learning about human history.” It wasn’t strictly a lie, although it certainly wasn’t the whole truth. And maybe it would account for the error noise in the other’s minds. If the transmat had picked me up on a border or something, it would make that noise? Probably? “I travel with some friend, and our- my tutor. The… he’s a doctor,” I finished lamely, unsure what I’d end up saying if I just let my mouth run its course.

 

“Hm, very interesting, Katelyn,” the Pat Droid said in a very uninterested way. It’s head jerked to look at the old man. “Now to Aringod. Dr. Aringod Rockefeller is from level 400 of the New York Skyline. What do you do?” The old man, Aringod, remember his name, stood a bit taller and squared his shoulders.

 

“I work at a law firm. I have seven degrees, including law and history.” He turned and gave me a dirty look at that last word. I shrugged back. Sorry, buddy, but one of us had studied the 21st century and one of us had lived through it. “I also teach at Harvard V in my spare time.”

 

“Fascinating,” the Pat Droid deadpanned. He snapped his head toward the young man, who was still trembling with fear. “Hello, Quentin. Quentin Matthews of the NCR zone. What do you do?”

 

“I-I” Poor Quentin was crying now. He knew he wasn’t getting out of here alive. “I dropped out of school halfway through my 14th year. I needed to get a job to support my family and I-I-I never finished school. Oh god.” Unable to stop myself, I reached over and grabbed Quentin’s hand. The least I could do was show him a tiny hint of compassion in his final minutes. He looked over at me, honest confusion written on his face, under all the tears. I didn’t smile at him, though. Under the current circumstances, how could he read a smile as anything but sinister?

 

“What a life,” the Pat Droid said. “Anyways, onto the next round. Another toss up. The category is 82nd Century Song Lyrics.” The squares appeared again, switching slowly to letters.

 

Aringod Rockefeller and Quentin Matthews. I’m so sorry. I promised to myself that I would  remember them, but I had to win. I was the one getting out of here.

 

<...>

 

Halfway through the second regular round was when I saw what the misfortune wedge did. I still had my one safety net, and Aringod had earned himself two, but lost one on his first spin this round. Quentin had none. 

 

“Quentin, give it a spin,” the Pat Droid commanded. Quentin reached over the desk and spun the wheel with as much force as he could muster. It only went around twice before landing on “misfortune”. Quentin made a strangled choking noise, and my stomach dropped into my shoes. I knew his death was coming. It had to if I was making it out of here alive. But it was still horrible, unfair, and jarring.

 

“Oh, that is unfortunate,” the Pat Droid said. “You never want that. Well, Quentin, your winnings will be sent to you family.” His whole 2,000 credits. I didn’t know exactly how credits translated to dollars, but that didn’t seem like much. “Goodbye.” Across the room, Vanna Droid lifted her hand. A panel slide open on her palm to reveal a barrel. 

 

I spun to Quentin, suddenly desperate that he knew. “I’ll remember you,” I promised in a whisper. “Quentin Matthews.” For just that last second, he looked brighter, not happy or hopeful persay, but less terrified.

 

“Thank you.” Then the beam hit him, and he was gone. Whether it was a transmat onto a Dalek ship or an actual disintegrator beam didn’t matter. Quentin Matthews was gone.

 

“Katelyn, that makes it your turn,” the Pat Droid said. “Just a reminder, the category is Colonized Planets.”

 

“I’d like to solve.” No time to grieve. Always moving on.

 

<...>

 

“Are you insane?” the Doctor emphasized, spinning back on the two remaining humans on the couch. “You just step right into the disintegrator?” Why did they look more confused than anything else? “Is it that important, getting your face on the telly? Is it worth dying for?”

 

Lynda with a Y shook her head and stood up. “You're talking like we've got a choice!” she cried.

 

“But I thought you had to apply,” he said.

 

“Don't be so stupid,” the man, Strood, replied immediately. “That's how they played it centuries back.” What?

 

“You get chosen whether you like it or not,” Lynda explained. “Everyone on Earth is a potential contestant. The transmat beam picks you out at random.” Oh, this was very bad. And worse, the Doctor couldn’t remember ever having heard of a part of human history like this. “And it's non stop,” Lynda continued. “There are sixty Big Brother houses running all at once.” She sounded close to tears.

 

“How many?” the Doctor asked, unbelieving. “Sixty?”

 

“They've had to cut back,” Strood said, calm and… disappointed? Disappointed over  _ fewer deaths _ ? “It's not what it was.”

 

“It's a charnel house!” the Doctor shouted. Right, ignore Strood. He turned back to Lynda. “What about the winners? What do they get?”

 

“They get to live,” she responded.

 

“Is that it?” the Doctor asked. This was getting worse by the second.

 

“Well, isn't that enough?” Lynda countered. While the Doctor certainly didn’t agree with that sentiment, he also had no time to argue it. 

 

“Rose is out there,” he explained, as if these people knew her, as if they knew how much he- “She got caught in the transmat. She's a contestant. Time I got out.” As if he hadn’t been trying to do that before. But now, now it was so much more important that he did. “That other contestant, er, Linda with an I. She was forcibly evicted for what?”

 

“Damage to property,” Lynda with a Y answered quietly.

 

“What, like this?” The Doctor pointed the sonic screwdriver at the camera in the corner, hoping to overload it. After a second it sparked and all but exploded.  _ There _ , he thought, walking back over to the couch and dropping down onto it. He’d done his part. Now to wait.

 

<...>

 

“The Doctor, you've broken the House Rules,” the robotic overhead voice announced.  “Big Brother has no choice but to evict you.” The Doctor made a cheering motion, and looked over at Lynda. She looked back at him like he was insane. “You have ten seconds to make your farewells, and then we're going to get you!” 

 

The Doctor jumped up off the couch immediately and sprinted toward the disintegrator room. “That's more like it. Come on, then. Open up!” The door did not obey.

 

“You're mad!” Lynda cried, jumping up and running over. “It's like you want to die.”

 

“I reckon he's a plant,” Strood nearly growled. By Rassilon, look at the bigger picture! “He was only brought in to stir things up.” The Doctor choose to ignore Strood. He had more important things to worry about. 

 

The door in front of him opened. “The Doctor, please leave the Big Brother house.” He ran into the white corridor on the other side without a second more of hesitation. He grinned at Lynda until the door had closed on her face. Then he looked up at the ceiling. 

 

“Come on then, disintegrate me!” he shouted far before it would have happened. “Come on, what're you waiting for?” He kept shouting until the robotic voice started droning a countdown. It hit one, then powered down.

 

“Ah, ha! I knew it!” he cried. “You see, someone brought me into this game. If they'd wanted me dead, they could've transmatted me into a volcano. They want me alive.” Extensively, he was talking to Lynda or anyone else that might have been listening in, but really he was just talking at a door. He turned around to start talking at the other door. “Now then, to get out. Maybe security isn't as tight this end. Are you following this?” he shouted at the camera on the other side of the room. “I'm getting out!”

 

<...>

 

“And we’re back,” the Pat Droid droned. “With an upset solve by Katelyn in the last round, she pulled ahead by just 200 credits. Again, the Rockefeller family will enjoy those 14,400 credits, but enough about that!” 

 

I wrung my hands together behind me, away from the camera. Yes, I had made it to the last round. But I didn’t know of this even meant I would win. If I didn’t solve the final puzzle, was that still the disintegrator beam for me?

 

The Pat Droid gestured to the new, smaller wheel we were standing in front of now. The one that didn’t tell you what you’d won until you’d won it. “Spin it.” I did so with perhaps more enthusiasm than was either necessary or appropriate, but I had to get the nerves out somehow. It stopped and I pulled out the card and handed it to the Pat Droid.

 

The theme song blared overhead as we moved over to the center of the room, in front of the desk but still across from the screen. The screen lit up. Four short words. “Category: Entities. Q, C, L, P, R, O.” The Vanna Droid walked across the screen, tapping very few of the boxes. 

 

A ‘C’ in the second word, An ‘O’ in the last two. That was it. I mean, I could hazard a guess that the third word was ‘of’, but that was it. “Give us three more consonants, and one vowel.”

 

“Um. Fu- F! T, W, and, uh, E!” I said, completely unsure. What the hell kind of category was Entities? 

 

The Vanna Droid walked across the stage again and tapped a ‘T’ and an ‘E’ on the first word (Definitely ‘The’). ‘F’ and ‘E’ joined ‘C’ on the second word (Face maybe?). The third word was confirmed to be ‘of’. The last word got an ‘E’ at the end. 

 

Wait. No. There was no way… was there? 

 

“Ten seconds on the clock, wrong answers do not count against you. Begin.” It took exactly one tick of the countdown clock for me to think, fuck it, might as well give it a shot.

 

“The Face of Boe!” I called out. The music kept going for a half second, and for that half second, I thought I had gotten it wrong. My brain started misfiring in a million direction, because I couldn't think of anything else that really counted as an ‘entity’. 

 

But then the music was overtaken by the ‘ding, ding, ding’ of success. Oh, wouldn’t this be a fun story to tell one Jack Harkness. “Congratulation, Katelyn,” the Pat Droid deadpanned. “You’ve won-” He opened the card. “-10,000 extra credits and the freedom to walk out of here.” He turned to the camera as I felt every iota of fear fade from my body. “That’s all for this episode of Wheel of Fortune. See you tomorrow night!” The theme song played one more time, then all the lights died, and the two droids slowly rolled off backstage.

 

The woman with the headset came back over to me. “Out that door,” she said, pointing. “Take the elevator down to Floor Zero and tell the secretary you’re from Wheel 14. They’ll get you your money.” She patted me on the arm in a way that probably wasn’t supposed to be as condescending as it was. “Congratulations and goodbye.”

 

I didn’t bother responding to her, just left that horrible room behind and marched out into the hallway. I tried and failed not to notice the other three rooms on this level. I tried and failed not to think about that fact that the woman had said “Wheel  _ 14 _ ”. 

 

I made my way to the elevator and pressed the call button. I needed to find the Doctor.

 

<...>

 

The sonic made quick work of the door at the far end, but the Doctor wasn’t expecting it to open the door on the other end as well. He turned around to see Lynda still standing there. Sweet Lynda with a Y. This world would eat her alive.

 

“Come with me,” he offered. She turned and looked back into the living room area.

 

“We're not allowed!” Strood scolded. The Doctor wanted to roll his eyes.

 

“Stay in there, you've got a fifty fifty chance of disintegration,” he reminded her. A bit cruel perhaps, but that seemed to be what this world responded to. “Stay with me, I promise I'll get you out alive. Come on!”

 

“No, I can't,” she breathed. “I can't.”

 

“Lynda, you're sweet,” he tried. “From what I've seen of your world, do you think anyone votes for sweet?” She didn’t respond immediately, so the Doctor held out his hand. She stared for a long moment, before smiling ever so slightly, running forward and taking his hand. Together, they ran out the other door into a room that looked disturbingly familiar. 

 

“Hold on,” the Doctor said more to himself than Lynda. “I've been here before. This is Satellite Five.” He walked over to where he remembered the lift being and pushed the call button. The door popped open immediately. “No guards,” the Doctor observed. “That makes a change. You'd think a big business like Satellite Five would be armed to the teeth.” The computer in the lift had no useful information, so the Doctor left.

 

“No one's called it Satellite Five in ages,” Lynda said, following him. “It's the Game Station now. Hasn't been Satellite Five in about a hundred years?”

 

The Doctor checked his watch. His time sense was terrible in this body. “A hundred years exactly. It's the year two zero zero one zero zero.” He kept scanning everything he could reach, because none of the information he was getting made any sense. “I was here before, Floor one three nine.”  _ With Rose _ , his brain provided, unhelpfully. “The Satellite was broadcasting news channels back then. Had a bit of trouble upstairs. Nothing too serious,” he said, in response to the confused look on Lynda’s face. “Easy. Gave them a hand, home in time for tea.” 

 

“A hundred years ago?” Lynda asked, cheeky. “What, you were here a hundred years ago?”

 

“Yep!” the Doctor replied. The door he’d been working on wouldn’t open. They probably couldn’t until the game was done.

 

“You're looking good on it,” Lynda said. Oh, if she knew how old he really was…  

 

“I moisturise,” the Doctor said, either as a dismissal or a joke. “Funny sorts of readings. All kinds of energy. The place is humming.” He tapped the sonic, but the reading stayed the same. Not an error then. “It's weird. This goes way beyond normal transmissions. What would they need all that power for?” 

 

“I don't know,” Lynda dismissed easily. “I think we're the first ever contestants to get outside.” The Doctor did not like that thought. 

 

“I had three friends travelling with me.” Don’t think about everything that could have gone wrong. Don’t think about everything that could have gone wrong. “They must've got caught in the same transmat. Where would they be?” Please say Big Brother. Please say Big Brother. 

 

“I don't know. They could've been allocated anywhere,” Lynda answered. “There's a hundred different games.” That had not been the answer he wanted. 

 

“Like what?” If they weren’t behind these doors, there was no sense trying to get them open right now.

 

“Well, there's ten floors of Big Brother. There's a different House behind each of those doors.” Lynda gestured to the doors around the floor. “And then beyond that, there's all sorts of shows. It's non stop. There's, um, Call My Bluff, with real guns.” Oh this was going downhill very, very quickly. “Countdown, where you've got thirty seconds to stop the bomb going off. Ground Force, which is a nasty one. You get turned into compost. Er, Wipeout, speaks for itself. Oh, and Stars In Their Eyes. Literally, stars in their eyes. If you don't sing, you get blinded.”

 

“And you watch this stuff?” the Doctor asked, to horrified to be properly disgusted.

 

“Everyone does,” Lynda dismissed with a smile. “How come you don't?”

 

“Never paid for my licence.” 

 

“Oh, my God!” Lynda cried, suddenly very worried for him again. “You get executed for that.” The Doctor held up the sonic.

 

“Let them try,” he challenged.

 

“You keep saying things that don't make sense,” Lynda said. “Who are you though, Doctor, really?”

 

“It doesn't matter.” His stock answer came easily to his lips, and he walked away. 

 

“Well, it does to me.” She sounded nervous. “I've just put my life in your hands.”

 

“I'm just a traveller,” the Doctor told her. “Wandering past. Then, in a rare show of complete honesty, he added, “believe it or not, all I'm after is a quiet life.” 

 

“So, if we get out of here, what're you going to do? Just wander off again?”

 

“Fast as I can,” he answered without hesitation.

 

“Cause, um, I could come with you?” He wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, so he looked over at Lynda. She was smiling shyly. Oh, was she flirting?

 

“Maybe you could,” he decided.

 

“I wouldn't get in the way,” Lynda said.

 

“I wouldn't mind if you did.” That’s usually why he took companions after all. To stop him or keep him in check. To notice the things he overlooked or ask just the right question to spark some realization. “Not a bad idea, Lynda with a Y. 

 

“But first of all, we've got to concentrate on the getting out. And to do that, you've got to know your enemy.” The Doctor started scanning the doors again, not that they were really giving hi many useful information. “Who's controlling it? Who's in charge of the satellite now?

 

“Hold on.” Lynda ran to a light breaker and turned it on. “Your lords and masters,” Lynda said. A sign lit up, right where he remembered the floor number being displayed, but now it read- 

 

_ Bad Wolf Corporation. _

 

The Doctor just stared, dread filling every cell in his body. Just when he thought it couldn’t get worse. He needed to find Rose.  _ Now. _

 

<...>

 

The elevator took its sweet time getting to my floor. You’d think this far in the future they’d have perfected express elevator technology. Finally, I heard the elevator stop on the other side of the door. Honestly, I must have been standing there for a minute at least. 

 

When the door slide open, I was no longer the only person on this floor.

 

“Jack!” I cried running forward to hug him.

 

“Katelyn!” he dropped the gun he’d made himself and opened his arms. It felt  _ really  _ nice to hug him, so I didn’t stop until the elevator started moving again. 

 

“How did you get out?” he asked. I forced myself to meet his eyes, so he’d see the shame. Maybe if he knew what I’d done, what I’d had to do, he’d miss me less.

 

“I won,” I said simply. Then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to know his side. “How’d you get out?” Jack offered me that winning smile of his that didn’t really fool me anymore and picked his new gun up.

 

“I asked nicely, of course,” Jack responded. I offered a cheeky smile back. I doubted that fooled him anymore either.

 

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it these days?” I teased. Jack laughed lightly. “Where are we going, by the way?”

 

Jack tapped his Vortex Manipulator. “Doctor’s about 10 floors down.”

 

“Good, maybe he knows where Rose is.”  _ Cause we’re running out of time. _

 

<...>

 

Jack strood into the computer room the Doctor was using with all the confidence I didn’t feel. “Hey, handsome,” Jack said to the Doctor. “Good to see you. Any sign of Rose?” Jack dropped his gun, probably because he well knew how much the Doctor didn’t like them. 

 

“Can't you track her down?” he shot back. So exactly zero luck locating Rose Tyler on the Doctor’s end. That was the only explanation for him being that hostile right out of the gate.

 

“She must still be inside the games. All the rooms are shielded,” Jack explained. The Doctor glanced up for a second, then went back to picking at the computer, hacking in the most physical sense of the word. I looked over his shoulder and offered Lynda with a Y a small smile. She smiled back.

 

“If I can just get inside this computer. She's got to be here somewhere.” The Doctor voice shook a little at the end. It made me more anxious by proxi. I  _ knew  _ he’d find Rose in time, and that even if he didn’t she’d be fine. That did not make me feel better.

 

“Well, you'd better hurry up,” Jack warned, for the first time since I’d known him, taking off his vortex manipulator. “These games don't have a happy ending.”

 

“Do you think I don't know that?” the Doctor snapped. Jack looked chastised, held up his hands in defense, and locked eyes with me. I just looked back with worry and mouthed ‘it is Rose’. Jack nodded and handed over his manipulator to the Doctor.

 

“Here you go, patch that in. It's programmed to find her,” Jack said. 

 

“Thanks,” the Doctor responded, sounding more like a reflex than anything else. Jack finally caught sight of Lynda.

 

“Hey, there,” he greeted, turning the charm up to 100 and reaching out his hand.

 

“Hello,” Lynda greeted back, taking Jack’s hand and shaking it.

 

“And I’m here too,” I said. “Katelyn Laurin.”

 

“Captain Jack Harkness,” Jack said.

 

“Lynda Moss,” Lynda said.

 

“Nice to meet you, Lynda Moss,” Jack responded. They were still shaking hands.

 

“Do you mind flirting outside?” the Doctor bit. I was honestly on his side this time.

 

“I was just saying hello!” Jack defended. I gave him a ‘are you though?’ look.

 

“For you, that's flirting,” the Doctor said, putting words to my facial expression.

 

“I'm not complaining,” Lynda said more to Jack than anyone else. 

 

“Muchas gracias,” Jack flirted (no ambiguity this time). He raised Lynda’s hand and kissed it. The moment was ruined when the computer made an angry error noise.

 

“It's not compatible,” the Doctor realized. “This stupid system doesn't make sense!” He threw Jack vortex manipulator more at than to Lynda and kicked the console. He gripped the edges of the computer. Jack reached over and helped rip off the front plate. Both men went to work getting into the system. I stood awkwardly at the back with Lynda. I’d never been great with computers.

 

“This place should be a basic broadcaster,” the Doctor started to lecture. “But the systems are twice as complicated. It's more than just television. This station's transmitting something else.”

 

“Like what?” Jack asked.

 

“I don't know,” the Doctor admitted. That was a rare thing, the Doctor admitting he didn’t know something. “This whole Bad Wolf thing's tied up with me. Someone's manipulated my entire life. It's some sort of trap and Rose is stuck inside it.” The Doctor turned suddenly to me, a wild look in his eyes. “Do you remember,” he asked. It took me a second to process the question. 48 hours ago, he’d tossed me off the TARDIS because I’d given him future information, and now he was asking for it?

 

“F-floor-” I wracked my brain, but it had been at least four months, probably longer, since I’d seen this as an episode. ‘What floor Rose was on’ hadn’t seemed like an important detail at the time. “Floor… four hundred something.”

 

“Oh that narrows it down, thanks,” the Doctor spit. I couldn’t really blame him, but he really shouldn’t blame me either.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s been too long,” I said. The Doctor turned away, glaring, probably swearing in 15 million different languages in his head, before turning back to the computer and trying again. Jack looked at me strangely, but decided now was probably not the time.

 

After some time, Jack’s vortex manipulator beeped. Displaying a three digit floor number. “Found her!” the Doctor cheered. “Floor four oh seven.” 

 

The silence lasted half a second, then Lynda shrieked in a gasp. “Oh, my God, she's with the Anne Droid. You've got to get her out of there!”

 

We all took off toward the life as fast as our feet would allow us. The Doctor pressed the floor number so hard he nearly jammed it, the leaned over and stared at the number counting up. “Come on, come on!” He refused to move away.

 

I was so scared I was almost shaking. Amazing how yesterday, when I’d made the decision to die today, I’d been so calm. Now seconds away from that death, I was worried I wouldn’t be brave enough to go through with it.

 

When the elevator door opened, however, I wasted not time is dashing out after the others. “Game Room Six, which one is it?” the Doctor called. We could just hear the game audio over the loudspeaker. God, we had  _ seconds. _

 

“Over here!” Lynda called. The others ran right up to door, but I stayed back a bit, and got ready to sprint.

 

“Stand back,” Jack said, raising his gun. “Let me blast it open.”

 

“You can't. it's made of Hydra combination,” the Doctor shot back. He was working furiously on the lock, chanting “Come on, come on”.

 

Over the loudspeakers, we heard Rose get the last answer wrong.

 

When the door opened, the Doctor was the first one in, but I was right behind him. “Rose!” he called. “Stop this game!” The only difference between us is that I was full on sprinting. “I order you to stop this game!” I heard more yelling, chaos filling the room, but I ignored it all. 

 

Run. Run at Rose. “You are the weakest link.” Dodge around her. “Goodbye.” Block the transmat.

 

<...>

 

The Doctor caught Rose in his arms and nearly crashed to the ground with the force of her momentum. He clung to her, harder than he normally would, needing to feel her in his arms. Safe. Rose was-

 

“What the hell did you do to her?” Jack shouted. The Doctor looked over Rose’s shoulder, still clinging to her. There, on the spot that Katelyn had been running to was nothing more than a pile of dust. 

 

She was gone. Dead. Like that woman, Crosby. Except, unlike Crosby, he hadn’t even seen her go. She hasn’t even screamed, she’d been ready, like she’d known exactly what she was running into. 

 

But of course she had. Katelyn had protected Rose from the Slitheen only 48 hours ago. And before that, on the day he’d met her, she’d defended Jack from him. She’d probably been planning this for days, if not longer.

 

He hadn’t been able to save her.

 

Dimly, the Doctor heard Jack yelling, screaming in rage, and the staff of this horrible place yelling back, but Rose was crying into his jumper and Katelyn was dead and he was frozen. 

 

He stayed frozen while security poured into the room, while a gun was held to his head. He moved, but stayed silent while a guard explained to him (and Rose, he supposed, since he was still holding her) who was arresting them and led them to a cell. He stayed silent, although completely congnant, while a guard patted him down and ripped the sonic out of his pocket.

 

_ Play dumb, play the mourner _ , he thought to himself, since they were no telepaths for him to communicate with. Not anymore.  _ Survive, get out. Make her sacrifice mean something.  _ Without him even communicating that plan, Jack and Rose followed suit.

 

As a team, they stayed silent during questioning (“Can you tell us the purpose of this device? Can you tell us how you got on board? Can you tell us who you are?”) They stayed silent through the mug shots, and the reading of their non-rights. No one answered the “is that understood?”, so the guard gave up, and walked out.

 

When the guard was unlocking the door, the Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand without looking, and finally turned to Jack. “Let's do it.”

 

Jack was up in an instant, like that was all he’d been waiting for. He punched the first guard out cold with one hit. He grabbed the door and threw his weight against it, knocking the guard on the other side off balance, then grabbed the top of the door frame and kicked that same guard dead in the center of his chest. He also went down.

 

Two more guard came in and were knocked down immediately, one by the Doctor and one by Jack. The Doctor grabbed the sonic off the table and started making his way back to the lift. He didn’t see Jack grabbed his gun from earlier, or Lynda take the guard's guns. He also didn’t let go of Rose’s hand. The Doctor was fairly sure he never would again. 

 

But he did once they were in the lift, taking the biggest gun from Jack. Rose gave him a worried look, but he knew she trusted him. He’d only even thought about pulling the trigger once, and there were no Daleks here. 

 

Floor 500 seemed to come much faster than 407 had. “Okay, move away from the desk! Nobody try anything clever,” Jack commanded. The employees scrambled away, but the Doctor ignored them for now. He marched right up to the woman strung up in the middle of the room. Everything about that set up screamed ‘IMPORTANT’. She would answer his questions. 

 

“Who's in charge of this place?” he demanded. The woman kept muttering numbers. “This Satellite's more than a Game Station,” he argued. More numbers. “Who killed Katelyn Laurin?”

 

“All staff are reminded that solar flares-” 

 

“I want an answer! 

 

“-Occur in delta point one.”

 

“She can't reply,” said one of the workers. The Doctor spun to look at him instead. “Don't shoot!” Oh, right, he was still holding the gun. He would like to not be holding the gun anymore.

 

“Oh, don't be so thick. Like I was ever going to shoot.” The Doctor threw his weapon at the worker. When the Doctor turned to look at the monitors, he caught sight of Rose’s face. Her eye make-up was smeared from tears, but right now she was smiling. She’d have been dead if not for Katelyn. 

 

The Doctor shook his head, grabbed Rose’s hand, and glanced at the monitors. “Captain, we've got more guards on the way up. Secure the exits.” 

 

“Yes, sir.” 

 

“You,” he turned back to the worker still holding the gun. “What were you saying?”

 

“But I… I've got your gun,” he said.

 

“Okay, so shoot me.” Rose’s hand tightened in his. “Why can't she answer?”

 

“She's um.” The worker glanced at the gun i his arms again. “Can I put this down?”

 

“If you want. Just hurry up.” 

 

“Thanks. Sorry.” He dropped the gun onto the desk. “The Controller is linked to the transmissions. The entire output goes through her brain. You're not a member of staff so she doesn't recognise your existence.”

 

“What's her name?” the Doctor asked, looking back at the poor woman.

 

“I don't know.” Did humans in the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire just stop asking question? “She was installed when she was five years old. That's the only life she's ever known.”

 

“Door's sealed,” Jack reported. “We should be safe for about ten minutes.”

 

“Keep an eye on them,” the Doctor called back. Ok, think. He needed more information! 

 

“But that stuff you were saying about something going on with the Game Station,” the worker said. “I think you're right. I've kept a log. Unauthorised transmats, encrypted signals, it's been going on for years.” Yes, good. Information.

 

“Show me.” 

 

<...>

 

“Solar flare activity in delta point zero fifteen,” the Controller droned again. The Doctor had already gotten used to ignoring her.

 

“If you're not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out,” a female staff worker demanded. “The staff are terrified.” He didn’t have time for this.

 

“That's the same staff who execute hundreds of contestants every day?” he asked.

 

“That's not our fault,” she said before he’d even finished. “We're just doing our jobs.”

 

“And with that sentence you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now back off!” he shouted. Maybe that was a little too much, because even Lynda backed away.

 

Suddenly, the power dropped.

 

“That's just the solar flares,” the only helpful worker dismissed. “They interfere with the broadcast signal, so this place automatically powers down. Planet Earth gets a few repeats. It's all quite normal.” 

 

“Doctor?” the female worker asked. 

 

“Whatever it is, you can wait,” he shot back. Rose squeezed his hand. He knew he was being a bit much, but  _ Katelyn was dead. _

 

“Doctor, I think the Controller wants you,” Rose said. He looked over and indeed, the Controller was muttering his name. The Doctor ran over, dragging Rose with him. 

 

“I'm here,” he said. 

 

“Can't see. I'm blind. So blind. All my life, blind,” the Controller nearly whispered. “All I can see is numbers, but I saw you.” 

 

“What do you want?” he demanded again. 

 

“Solar flares hiding me,” she didn’t answer. “They can't hear me. My masters, they always listen but they can't hear me now the sun, the sun is so bright.”

 

“Who are your masters?” So the human race was being manipulated… again. 

 

“They wired my head. The name's forbidden,” the Controller responded. Well, that was closer to a real answer this time. “They control my thoughts. My masters. My masters, I had to be careful. They monitor transmissions but they don't watch the programmes. I could hide you inside the games. I knew that you would find me.”

 

“My friend died inside your games,” the Doctor told her. Although, not her game, not the game she’d been dropped into. He hadn’t even asked how she’d gotten out.

 

“Doesn't matter,” the Controller dismissed instantly. 

 

“Don't you dare tell me that,” the Doctor fired back. He was mad at the controllers dismissal, but he was more disgusted that a few days ago, he had very nearly agreed with that sentiment.

 

“They've been hiding,” the Controller said, ignoring Katelyn’s death again. “My masters hiding in the dark space, watching and shaping the Earth so, so, so many years. Always been there, guiding humanity, hundreds and hundred of years.”

 

“Who are they?” the Doctor asked.

 

“They wait and plan and grow in numbers. They're strong now. So strong, my masters.” This was getting nowhere.

 

“Who are they?” he asked, more firmly this time.

 

“But speak of you.” The Controller looked down at him. “My masters, they fear the Doctor.” Oh, yeah, that narrowed it down.

 

“Tell me, who are they?” he demanded.

 

The power came back on. The Controller went back to muttering numbers.

 

Cursing internally, the Doctor spun around toward the helpful worker. “When's the next solar flare?” 

 

“Two years time,” the man announced.

 

“Fat lot of good that is.” He turned back toward the Controller.

 

“Found the TARDIS,” Jack said behind him. 

 

“We're not leaving now,” the Doctor shot back.

 

“No,” Jack agreed. “But the TARDIS worked it out. You'll want to watch this.” Interested despite himself, the Doctor turned around. Jack was not sitting at the computer the worker had been using. “Lynda, could you stand over there for me please? 

 

“I just want to go home,” she said.

 

“It'll only take a second. Could you stand in that spot, quick as you can.” Jack must have turned to charm up to 11, because Lynda moved over to where he was pointing. The Doctor glanced at Rose next to him. She looked as confused as he felt. “Everybody watching? Okay. three, two, one.”

 

A beam, exactly the same beam he saw hit Crosby, came down from the ceiling. Lynda vanishes in a puff of smoke.

 

“Jack!” Rose shrieked.

 

“But you killed her!” the Doctor said, only slightly less indignant that Rose. 

 

“Oh, do you think?” Jack said. The Doctor almost expected Katelyn’s smart reply.  _ Have a little faith, Doc,  _ or something like that. Of course it never came. 

 

Jack pushed another button on the monitor. Another beam came from the spot next to him, and dropped Lynda back. 

 

“What the hell was that?” Lynda asked, giving voice to the Doctor’s thoughts. She was alive, which meant… wait, but… wait!

 

“It's a transmat beam,” Jack confirmed. Rose gasped, understanding now too. “Not a disintegrator, a secondary transmat system. People don't get killed in the games. They get transported across space.” The Doctor figured he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn’t think he could care. “Doctor, Katelyn is still alive!”

 

The Doctor cheered and hugged Jack, because he was brilliant. Then he turned to Rose, hugging her and spinning around in a circle. Rose laughed, and for a second, everything was ok again.

 

Now they just had to find Katelyn.

 

<...>

 

It took me longer than I would have wanted to wake up, but I got to my feet as soon as I did. I saw the Dalek coming toward me with a twisted sort of joy heavy in my stomach. Rose wasn’t here; I had saved her. And furthermore, I had saved so many other lives. The Doctor didn’t care about me enough to risk Jack, Rose, and the TARDIS to rescue me. He would stay on the Game Station and have time to finish the Delta wave. If I didn’t live a day past this, then it would all have been worth it. 

 

“HA!” I shouted, right in its stupid not-face. “GUESS YOU JUST RUINED YOUR PLAN, YOU STUPID FUCKING PEPPER SHAKER LOOKING BASTARD!” Astonishingly, the Dalek stopped dead and just stared at me.

 

“You are not the human female!” it said in a rising pitch. “Explain! Explain!”

 

“Well, you dumbass trash bin, sorry to burst you real-time envelope, but I jumped in front of the ‘human female’. So you’re stuck with  _ me _ ,” I growled. I advanced on the Dalek, bravery easily and completely fueled by the thought that I was definitely going to die here, so might as well get some good lines out of it. “And you might as well just kill me now, because not only am I not gonna tell you diddly squat about the Doctor, but I will make a  _ shitty  _ human shield compared to Rose Tyler!”

 

“Affirmative,” the Dalek drawled. I held my arms out wide. 

 

“Well then. Glad we agree. Now if you would be so kind as to-”

 

“You are not a human shield.” Hold on. Was the emphasis on human just Dalek speech pattern, or was that a meaningful emphasis.

 

“Come again?” I asked.

 

“You are not a  _ human  _ shield,” it repeated. Oh. Ok. Definitely deliberate.

 

<...>

 

“She's out there somewhere,” the Doctor said to himself, running back and forth between computers.

 

“Doctor,” the Controller muttered. “Coordinates five point six point one-”

 

“Don't, the solar flare's gone,” he reminded the Controller, as if she somehow didn’t know. “They'll hear you.”

 

“-Point four three four. No, my masters, no! I defy you! Sigma seven seven-” The Controller screamed, then she was gone in the flash of a transmat beam.

 

“They took her,” he muttered.

 

<...>

 

“Look, use that.” The helpful worker handed a chip to Jack. “It might contain the final numbers. I kept a log of all the unscheduled transmissions.” 

 

“Nice,” Jack said, impressed. “Thanks. Captain Jack Harkness, by the way.” He held out his hand and the helpful worker shook it.

 

“I'm Davitch Pavale.” Finally, a name. 

 

“Nice to meet you, Davitch Pavale.”

 

“Jack,” Rose sighed.

 

“There's a time and a place,” the Doctor agreed. 

 

“Are you saying this entire set up's been a disguise all along?” the woman worker asked. The Doctor really had no idea why he’d let her stay. 

 

“Going way back,” he answered anyway. 

 

“All the way to the Jagrafess?” Rose asked. The Doctor nodded.

 

“Maybe before. Someone's been playing a long game,” he said. “Controlling the human race from behind the scenes for generations.”

 

“Click on this.” Jack handed the Doctor a remote. He pointed it in the air and clicked. “The transmat delivers to that point, right on the edge of the solar system.” 

 

“There's nothing there,” the woman observed.

 

“It looks like nothing because that's what this satellite does,” the Doctor revealed, only really coming to the realization as he said it. “Underneath the transmission there's another signal.”

 

“Doing what?” Davich and Rose asked at the same time.

 

“Hiding whatever's out there,” the Doctor guessed. “Hiding it from sonar, radar, scanner. There's something sitting right on top of planet Earth, but it's completely invisible.” He leaned forward and got to work typing. “If I cancel the signal…”

 

When the Doctor looked back up at the screen, he saw the last thing he wanted to see in all his lives. A large flying saucer was front and center on the holo-viewscreen. Then the view zoomed out, revealing more and more and more of them. There… there were so many. How were there that many? 

 

“That's impossible,” Jack said grimly. “I know those ships. They were destroyed.”

 

“Obviously, they survived,” the Doctor all but breathed. Without looking away, he fumbled and grabbed Rose’s hand again. They had nearly gotten her  _ again _ .

 

“Who did? Who are they?” Lynda asked innocently.

 

“Two hundred ships,” the Doctor counted quickly. He wasn’t sure if his hearts were still beating and he certainly wasn’t breathing. “More than two thousand on board each one. That's just about half a million of them.”

 

“Half a million what?” Davich asked.

 

“Daleks,” the Doctor whispered.

 

<...>

 

“Alert. Alert. We are detected!” a second Dalek in the room called. Wow, I must have been blind and deaf because now there were seven of them in the room.

 

“It is the Doctor. He has located us.” I tensed up again. “Open communications channel.” To my continued confusion, the Daleks did not command me to move. Instead, they congregated around the middle of the room and opened the communications channel. A screen appeared, showing what I knew to be the control room on Floor 500.

 

The first face I caught was the control room workers whose names I did not know. They was simply stunned, which was a fair reaction. I was feeling a bit stunned myself, considering I had just sat in the middle of a Dalek fleet for fifteen minutes and was still alive.

 

Over his left shoulder, Lynda with a y was terrified. She was almost shaking, yet she held her ground. Oh, her death was one of the ones I most wanted to prevent.

 

Next was Jack, whose face was such a cocktail of thoughts I didn’t even know where to begin. He was angry and determined, but under it all was relief. Relief that I was alive, more probable than not. I didn’t know how I felt about that. On one hand, I was glad my friend cared enough about me to mourn my death. On the other hand, I didn’t want him to grieve what I was sure would still be my death.

 

Rose was standing behind the Doctor, very nearly smiling at me. Her tear stained cheeks gave away the falseness of it. Brilliant Rose Tyler, trying to put on a brave face for me. I wished I could have thanked her more for all she had done for me.

 

The Doctor was the last face I picked out. He was  _ glaring _ so hard I could feel the anger radiating through the screen. For all the times I’d been on the receiving end of his glare, it had never been that intense. Good to know I’d never reached Dalek levels of hatred in his mind. When the Doctor saw me, alive, he shifted in his seat, but his expression didn’t change.

 

“I will talk to the Doctor,” a Dalek said in front of me.

 

“Oh, will you?” the Doctor said in mock cheerfulness. He smiled, but anyone who looked longer than a few seconds could see the rage in his eyes. “That's nice. Hello!”

 

“The Dalek stratagem nears completion,” the same pepper shaker explained. The Doctor fake smile dropped immediately. “The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.”

 

“Oh, really?” the Doctor challenged. “Why's that, then?”

 

“We have your associate. You will obey or the Time Lord Reborn will be exterminated.” The silence that followed that statement dragged on for a while. I even stumbled back a few steps in complete shock, looking at the Doctor on the screen, trying to communicate with my face that I had no idea what they were talking about.

 

Maybe I got through to him, or maybe he just didn’t care, because the Doctor’s glare lessened, replaced by hard set determination.

 

“No.” Everyone, every human and every Dalek, spun to look at him, all confused. 

 

“Explain yourself,” a Dalek demanded.

 

“I said no.”

 

“What is the meaning of this negative?” The Dalek almost sounded panicked.

 

“It means no,” the Doctor said in a flat tone.

 

“But she will be destroyed!”

 

“No!” The Doctor stood up so quickly his chair spun behind him. “Because this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to rescue her. I'm going to save Katelyn Laurin from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm going to save the Earth, and then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!” I just shook my head, trying to tell him to rearrange the order of that plan.

 

“But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan,” a Dalek protested.

 

Yeah,” the Doctor agreed with a manic grin. “And doesn't that scare you to death. Katelyn?”

 

“Doctor, listen to me-” 

 

“I'm coming to get you.”

 

“No! Don’t come get me!” I begged. “Stay there, start your plan. Please! I’m not-”

 

“I already abandoned you once.” The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the screen. “I’m not doing it again.” Then the screen switched off.

 

“NO!” I screamed at where the screen had been. I wanted to throw something, hit something, but everything around me was bolted down and metal. “You  _ stupid, _ sentimental old man! Why… why couldn’t you just…”

 

“The Doctor is initiating hostile action,” a Dalek said. I just sank down to the floor, too broken by the emotional tax of the day to even stand anymore.

 

“The stratagem must advance. Begin the invasion of Earth!”

 

“The Doctor will be exterminated!”

 

“Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!” the Dalek’s chanted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise bitches! Friday chapter! Boom!
> 
> In all seriousness, this chapter is taking the place of your regularly scheduled Saturday chapter, because me weekend is gonna be crazy.
> 
> Hopefully, the next chapter will be out on time next week. See you then!


	9. The Parting of the Ways

 

By the time the Daleks were finished with their ‘kill the Doctor’ pep rally, I had stood back up and moved over to one of the walls. The brief void of emotion I’d felt right after the Doctor had announced he was coming to get me had swiftly fled my soul and had been replaced with _rage_ . Why wouldn’t he just _listen_ to me for once? He was supposed to be brilliant. Couldn’t he understand what I was trying to do?

 

After a few moments of stewing in that anger, one of the Daleks turned and advanced on me. I raised an eyebrow, because nothing else cold faze me today.

 

“You know the Doctor,” it started

 

“Do I, now?” I shot back.

 

“You understand him,” it continued.

 

“Are you _stupid?_ ,” I wondered aloud.

 

“You will predict his actions,” it finished. I made a show of sighing and rolling my eyes.

 

“I said I won't tell you,” I reminded the Pepper shaker. “I’d never betray him like that!”

 

“Predict!” it demanded. “Predict! Predict!” This was not the day to test me. I know it was one of the deadliest being in existence I was staring down right now, but I couldn’t find a shred of fear to feel.

 

“Fuck off!” I shouted. I was tempted to try and kick the bastard across the room, but that would either result in it shooting me or a broken leg. At this point, though, I had no desire to die or have a broken leg, so I resorted to my tried and true method of anger management: swearing.

 

“TARDIS detected in flight,” another Dalek said before I could start getting creative with me swearing.

 

“Launch missiles. Exterminate,” ordered the Dalek before me. That Dalek would be dead in about thirty seconds, if memory serves. Then again, all these Daleks would be dead in a few hours, no matter how.

 

Strange how crisis can seem like nothing. I could see the Dalek’s working the controls, how I knew the TARDIS was being protected by a forcefield, and how I knew it would be coming any second, and yet nothing seemed to be happening.

 

It was a second after that realization that I heard my favorite sound in the whole of creation. The Daleks heard it too and turned to look. It was too late for them to do anything. The TARDIS walls were already partially around me. Oh. And the Dalek that had been standing in front to me.

 

While the TARDIS was still materializing, her occupants looked like ghosts. A very stressed ghost in Rose’s case. The Doctor was still glaring, not accepting this victory until I was safe, fully inside his TARDIS. Jack raised his new gun, ready. They must have seen the Dalek.

 

“Katelyn, get down!” the Doctor shouted an instant after the _thunk_ that signaled the TARDIS had fully materialized. I dropped to the ground immediately.

 

The Dalek noticed the Doctor and decided to take this one chance. “Exterminate!” The Dalek fired and missed, which was pretty pathetic for the deadliest race in the Universe. Jack shot back, not missing, and the Dalek exploded. I stood back up.

 

“We did it!” Rose shouted, apparently overjoyed to see me. I was still furious, so bad I could feel it boiling my blood, but when she ran forward and hugged me, I found myself hugging her back. I wasn’t mad at her, after all.

 

“‘Course you did,” I said into her shoulder. “Shouldn’t have, but you did.”

 

“Hey, don't I get a hug?” Jack asked, already walking toward us. Rose didn’t let go, just waved Jack over. He hugged us both.

 

“Welcome home,” Jack said quietly.

 

“We thought you were dead.” Rose’s voice was shaky, like she was holding in tears.

 

“Aw, it’ll take more than a shipful of Daleks to pry me off this mortal coil,” I said lightly, even though I had planned to die. I felt Jack’s chuckle more than heard it.

 

“Oh, you were lucky. That was just a one shot wonder. Drained the gun of all its power supply. Now it's just a piece of junk.”

 

The humans pulled off me, leaving me to face the Doctor. He had walked over and was examining the Dalek. For a good while, we just stood, staring, until I took a deep breath, swallowed too loudly, and spoke. “I’m not sorry.” My voice was steady, my tone firm. I was rather proud of myself, under the anger.

 

The Doctor's expression shifted to something softer. “Didn’t expect you would do,” he chuckled. “But, uh, I am.” He looked down at his boots. “I’m sorry.”

 

“And I forgive you,” I said easily. I was still angry, but with the realization that there was nothing more I knew to do, that anger was quickly becoming guilt. Could he have really known, after all? “So now that we’ve done that song and dance-” I pointed to the exploded thing next to me. “Daleks?”

 

“You said they were extinct,” Rose said, turning to the Doctor. “How comes they're still alive?”

 

“One minute they're the greatest threat in the Universe, the next minute they vanished out of time and space,” Jack remarked, crouching on the other side of the Dalek.

 

“They went off to fight a bigger war,” the Doctor explained grimly, standing up again. “The Time War.”

 

“I thought that was just a legend,” Jack said.

 

“All legends have some truth to them,” I offered. The Doctor shook his head, never looking away from the Dalek.

 

“I was there,” he explained. “The war between the Daleks and the Time Lords, with the whole of creation at stake. My people were destroyed, but they took the Daleks with them.” The Doctor looked so in pain, the rest of my anger melted away. He wasn’t going to let the Daleks take anyone else from him. “I almost thought it was worth it. Now it turns out they died for nothing.”

 

“You said there were half a million out there,” Rose said, with the air of someone coming to a realization they really didn’t want to come to. “We could hardly stop one. What're we going to do?” The Doctor’s face shifted, compartmentalizing all his other emotions.

 

“No good stood round here chin wagging,” he teased. “Human race, you'd gossip all day.” Rose looked offended and slightly confused, but Jack seemed to take that as a compliment. “The Daleks have got the answers. Let's go and meet the neighbours.” The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand and pulled her out the door with him. Jack walked in sync with the pair, while I trailed slightly behind. I wasn’t supposed to know about the forcefield, so I had to show some apprehension.

 

“Exterminate!” every Dalek cried, firing as quickly as they could at everything that passed through the door. Their rays were stopped by a forcefield Jack and the Doctor had rigged up. At least some good came of that damn extrapolator.

 

The Doctor let go of Rose’s hand, walked to the edge of the forcefield, and held his arms out in a ‘really’ motion. “Is that it? Useless! Nul points!” he told the Daleks. Then he turned back to us. “It's all right, come on out. That forcefield can hold back anything.”

 

“Almost anything,” Jack said on instinct, probably to get me up to speed with the others.

 

The Doctor’s face flashed panic for half a second before he gave Jack a tight lipped smile. “Yes, but I wasn't going to tell them that. Thanks.”

 

“Sorry,” Jack muttered, about as sheepish as Jack Harkness could be.

 

“Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek Homeworld?” the Doctor asked said trash bins, trying to recover the way upper hand. “The Oncoming Storm,” he continued in a low voice You might've removed all your emotions but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?” The Doctor paused for a moment to let the unspoken threat sink in. “So tell me. How did you survive the Time War?”

 

“They survived through me,” a voice off to our left growled. The Doctor turned toward the voice, that look of almost fear and disbelief that usually accompanied hearing Dalek’s clear on his face. I could almost slap myself for being mad at him earlier. The Doctor was rarely rational when faced with Daleks. I should have planned better.

 

The lights started coming up as the Doctor stepped closer, Rose, Jack, and I trailing behind, to reveal a huge open Dalek casing looking thing. Hanging down from the center in a glass case was the one-eyed mutant that lived inside each Dalek, only bigger and with a weird things on its head.

 

“Rose, Katelyn, Captain,” the Doctor said grimly. “This is the Emperor of the Daleks.

 

“You destroyed us, Doctor,” it started without prompt. “The Dalek race died in your inferno, but one ship survived, falling through time, crippled but alive-”

 

“I get it,” the Doctor said weakly.

 

“Do not interrupt,” three Dalek’s interrupted in turn. Jack and Rose spun to each as it spoke, but I kept my eyes firmly forward. Partially because I wanted to look brave, but mostly because I didn’t want to the look at the one that had called me a _Time Lord._ Because I wasn't. I was sure.

 

“I think you're forgetting something,” the Doctor said to the room. “I'm the Doctor, and if there's one thing I can do, it's talk. I've got five billion languages, and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anybody's going to shut up, it's you!” He turned and shouted the last words at the Daleks behind us. They backed up quickly in fear. The Doctor turned back to the Emperor. “Okey doke. So, where were we?”

 

“We tried to rebuild,” the Emperor started again. It turned it’s one eye to me and glared. I had to put all my willpower into not stepping back. “But the Time Lord Reborn destroyed us again and sent us here. Here to the dark space, damaged but we rebuilt again.” What was going on? Why was this _so_ different from what I remembered from the show?

 

“Centuries passed,” the Emperor continued. “And we quietly infiltrated the systems of Earth, harvesting the waste of humanity. The prisoners, the refugees, the dispossessed. They all came to us. The bodies were filtered, pulped, sifted.” I managed to tear my eyes away from the thing now staring down the Doctor and look at my _fellow_ humans. Rose was scowling, in a way she reserved for the things that dismissed life, looking exactly as disgusted as was appropriate. Jack was doing a great job of keeping his expression blank, trying to be the level headed one. “The seed of the human race is perverted. Only one cell in a billion was fit to be nurtured.”

 

“So you created an army of Daleks out of the dead,” the Doctor said, deceptively calm.

 

“That makes them half human,” Rose realized.

 

“That makes them all human,” I corrected, just to watch the Emperor squirm. As far as I was concerned “everything human got chucked in the bin”, as Rose had once said to someone only slightly less evil.

 

“Those words are blasphemy!” the Emperor said in a rising tone.

 

“Do not blaspheme!” the same three Daleks from earlier chanted.

 

“Everything human has been purged,” the Emperor informed us, almost sounded proud. What with the guilt and the confusion and the rising disgust, I felt a bit like I was going to throw up. “I cultivated pure and blessed Dalek.”

 

The Doctor turned back toward the Emperor with growing horror in his eyes. “Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?”

 

“I reached into the dirt and made new life,” the Emperor stated simply. “I am the God of all Daleks!”

 

“Worship him!” the Dalek’s chanted. The Doctor looked around the room, observing the Daleks as if trying to see the human in them. He caught sight of me, and spun back on the Emperor.

 

“Why’d you call her ‘the Time Lord Reborn’, then?” he demanded, pointing to me. The Dalek Emperor glared at me again. I’d never felt so hated before in all my life. I’d be flattered if I weren’t so confused or so scared.

 

“The Heathen named herself to us long ago,” it said. “At the Time of Sending.”

 

“I did no such thing!” I shouted, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt to prove that was right. “I’m human! I’m a human being!”

 

_Oswin Oswald had thought she was human too._

 

_So did that kid, George the Tenza._

 

_So did John Smith, even when presented with the Fob Watch that held the Doctor._

 

Now I was sure I was going to be sick.

 

The Doctor just looked at me for a few moments. “They're insane,” he decided, turning back to the Daleks. “Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad. But it's worse than that.” The Doctor almost looked like he pitied the Daleks. “Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. You hate your own existence.” Or maybe, just in this one aspect, he understood them. “And that makes them more deadly than ever.” The Doctor turned back the Emperor. “We're going,” he announced.

 

“You may not leave my presence!” the Emperor commanded. We ignored him, piling into the TARDIS instead. I immediately made my way over to the jumpseat and layed down, hoping that would help the nauseous feeling go away. It didn’t really help when I could still hear the Daleks steady shouting of “Exterminate!” and the firing of their weapons on the other side of the door.

 

After a few moments, the Doctor stepped away from the door and went to the console. A few flicks of a few swtiched, and the TARDIS thunked her landing back on the Gamestation. Jack came over and helped me to my feet.

 

“You ok?” he asked. I shook my head, not sure if I really knew the words to describe how I was feeling right now.

 

“I kinda feel like I’m gonna puke, to be honest,” I said. Jack offered me a smile that definitely didn't reach his eyes and helped me out the TARDIS doors. I wanted to go back on as soon as my feet were on the ground. It’d been a while since I had one, but this was precisely the situation that would have triggered a Reality Check.

 

“Turn everything up,” the Doctor commanded as soon as his feet were on the ground. “All transmitters full power, wide open. Now! Do it!”

 

“What does this do?” Davich asked, already moving to do it.

 

“Stops the Daleks from transmatting on board,” the Doctor answered. “How did you get on? Did you contact Earth?”

 

“Well, we tried to warn them, but all they did was suspend our license because we stopped the programmes,” Davich said. He sounded a lot calmer than I think the rest of us felt. I pushed off Jack and sat down at an open chair.

 

“And the planet's just sitting there, defenceless.” The Doctor’s eyes flickered back and forth in front of him, as if he were trying to read the solution to this situation in the air. “Lynda, what're you still doing on board?” he asked when he saw her instead. “I told you to evacuate everyone,” he said to Davich.

 

“She wouldn't go,” he sighed.

 

“Didn't want to leave you,” Lynda admitted. The Doctor looked at her with that haunted look again. Behind him, Rose gave Lynda a once over. I almost laughed. _Oh, don’t worry Rose Tyler. That Time Lord is all yours._

 

“There weren't enough shuttles anyway, or I wouldn't be here,” the unnamed worker admitted. “We've got about a hundred people stranded on Floor Zero.”

 

“You have a transmat system,” I said, slowly coming to that realization myself. “Can’t you just zap the rest on them down to Earth?”

 

Davich shook his head. “Not if we also need to keep the Daleks from transmatting on board. I leaned back in my chair, truly defeated. There was nothing I could do now.

 

I looked around Floor 500, already trying to hold back tears. Yes, some of these people were terrible, but that didn’t mean I wanted them dead. I wanted them tried, held in prison for life maybe, but not shot dead by Daleks.

 

I counted them, even though there were only three, seared their names onto my heart. 100 down below, Davitch Pavale, Lynda with a Y, that woman (oh, God. She didn’t even have a name), Quentin Williams, Aringod Rockefeller… Jack Harkness. Their deaths were my fault.

 

“Oh, my God,” Davich said suddenly, looking at his screen. “The Fleet is moving. They're on their way.”

 

<...>

 

The Doctor started pulling panels off the computers and pulling out bits out of the conduits. He worked in frenzied state, giving credence to the ‘mad man with a box’ title he’d get later in his life.

 

“Dalek plan. Big mistake, because what have they left me with? Anyone? Anyone?” Even while speaking, he was bouncing around, gathering material, already in a panic. “Oh, come on, it's obvious.”

 

Rose turned to me and gave me an ‘is it really?’ sort of look. I mouthed ‘no’ back.

 

“A great big transmitter,” the Doctor continued, unbothered by the lack of response from the humans. Jack was shaking his head, but the realization was slowly coming to him.“This station. If I can change the signal, fold it back, sequence it, anyone?

 

“You've got to be kidding,” Jack said as soon as he figured it out.

 

“Give the man a medal!” the Doctor said, beaming. I offered Rose a nervous smile. She mirrored it.

 

“A Delta Wave?” Jack asked, incredulous.

 

“A Delta Wave!” the Doctor cheered, with the tone of someone about 40% sure this plan would work, but 100% needing it to.

 

“What's a Delta Wave?” Rose asked, shooting both men a look. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to remind them she was only from the 21st century.

 

“A wave of Van Cassadyne energy,” Jack explained, as if that explained anything. “It fries your brain. Stand in the way of a Delta Wave and your head gets barbequed.” Jack was looking at the Doctor like he was insane.

 

“And this place can transmit a massive wave,” the Doctor said, gesturing with two motherboards still in his hands. “Wipe out the Daleks!”

 

Rose opened her mouth to say something, but Lynda bet her to it. “Well, get started and do it then.” Rose shot me another look. I sighed.

 

“Trouble is, wave this size, building this big, brain as clever as mine, should take about, oh, three days?” the Doctor said without taking a breath. “How long till the Fleet arrive?”

 

Davich turned and checked his screen. “Twenty two minutes,” he informed the Doctor. The Last of the Time Lords scrambled to get back to work.

 

Jack spent the next few minutes wiring up the extrapolator to the main circuit on Floor 500. “We've now got a forcefield so they can't blast us out of the sky,” he explained to the humans that had gathered around him. “But that doesn't stop the Daleks from physically invading.

 

“Do they know about the Delta Wave?” Davich asked.

 

“They'll have worked it out at the same time,” Jack answered, fairly calm. Well, calm in the face of certain death was skill you picked up as the Doctor’s companion. “So, they want to stop the Doctor. That means they've got to get to this level, five hundred.” Jack pulled up a diagram of the station. “Now, I can concentrate the extrapolator around the top six levels, five hundred to four nine five. So they'll penetrate the station below that at level four nine four and fight their way up.”

 

“Who are they fighting?” Davich asked.

 

“Us,” Jack answered. Davich did a double take.

 

“And what are we fighting with?” he asked. Got to admire that man's ability to just work with completely shocking information.

 

“The guards had guns with bastic bullets. That's enough to blow a Dalek wide open,” Jack lied. Rose nodded like she knew this to be true. I took a shaky breath very slowly, so no one would hear, and stood up.

 

“There's six of us,” the woman said, as if Jack could not count.

 

“Rose, you can help me,” the Doctor said as soon as the words had left the woman’s mouth. I wondered if he’d been listening this whole time, if he knew all those people would be walking to their deaths. “I need all these wires stripping bare.”

 

“And you’re in no condition to fight,” Jack said to me. I opened my mouth to protest, then snapped it shut at his glare. Whoa. I’d never been older brothered before. “Go help Rose strip wires.” I went over to Rose without saying anything. There was probably nothing I could say anyway.

 

“Right, now there's four of us,” the woman complained.

 

“Then let's move it,” Jack commanded, “Into the lift. Isolate the lift controls.”  Pavale and his colleague ran off. This would be the last time anyone but Jack saw them alive. I forced myself to look down at the wires in my hand. I had a job to do. I couldn’t focus on the dead.

 

Lynda walked over to the Doctor. “I just - I just want to say, er, thanks, I suppose, and I'll do my best,” she said, smiling. She still thought she was going to live.

 

_Give them hope. Hope makes people fight harder._

 

“Me too,” the Doctor said back. He moved like he was going to kiss Lynda’s forehead, Nine’s move for people who were going to sacrifice themselves, but Lynda held her hand up instead. In a very awkward moment, they shook hand, and then Lynda was gone too.

 

Jack came over to us solemn. The last time this Team TARDIS would stand together.

 

All because I had failed.

 

“It's been fun,” he almost laughed. The Doctor offered him the ghost of a smile, which I tried and failed to mirror. “But I guess this is goodbye.”

 

“Don't talk like that,” Rose scolded immediately. “The Doctor's going to do it. You just watch him.” Jack looked at Rose with the soft kind of pity you wore when you really wanted to believe what someone said, but you knew you couldn’t.

 

“Rose,” Jack said oh, so gently. He cupped her face in his hands. “You are worth fighting for.” He kissed her quickly, but sweetly. Rose bit her lips like she was trying not to smile, which was a weird reaction, I thought.

 

Jack turned to the Doctor. “Wish I'd never met you, Doctor.” The Time Lord chuckled. Jack held his face too. “I was much better off as a coward.” The Doctor got his kiss too.

 

When Jack turned toward me, I crashed right into his chest and started crying. I didn’t bother even trying to hold back. Jack hugged me back, ran his hand up my back in a comforting gesture, and kissed the top of my head.

 

I didn’t want to let him go, because it meant letting him leave. But when Jack pushed on my shoulders, I did let him go. “See you in hell.” Then he was gone too.

 

I turned back to my work to hide the tears, sniffling but not letting myself sob.

 

_Give them hope. Hope keeps them fighting._

 

The Doctor noticed my tears anyway. I’m sure he understood what they meant.

 

“He's going to be alright,” Rose said confidently. Neither the Doctor nor I said a word. What was there to say really? The Doctor’s look was enough. “Isn't he?”

 

<...>

 

“Suppose-” Rose said, after about 15 minutes of complete silence.

 

The Doctor waited for her to go on, only asking “What?” when it had been several more seconds of silence.

 

“Nothing,” Rose dismissed. The Doctor glanced up from the rewiring he was doing, then looked back down. Neither Katelyn nor Rose had moved much from where they’d sat to strip wires. He was pretty sure Katelyn was still crying.

 

“You said suppose,” the Doctor prompted.

 

“No, I was just thinking…” Rose paused. Then apparently decided to go on. “I mean, obviously you can't, but, you've got a time machine. Why can't you just go back to last week and warn them?” Oh, Rose Tyler, always asking the right questions.

 

“Soon as the TARDIS lands in that second, I become part of events, stuck in the timeline,” he explained simply.

 

“Yeah, thought it'd be something like that,” Rose said. The Doctor knew what he wanted to say next, but he hesitated. This Delta Wave… it was a hail mary attack. Jack had known that, and chosen to die on his own terms, to go out fighting. But that didn’t mean - he couldn’t let Rose-

 

“There's another thing the TARDIS could do,” the Doctor decided to say. “It could take us away. We could leave. Let history take its course. We go to Marbella in 1989.”

 

“Yeah, but you'd never do that,” Rose dismissed instantly. The Doctor looked up from the wires he’d been working on.

 

“No, but you could ask.” And she could. He wasn’t sure he was capable of saying no if it meant keeping her safe. “Never even occurred to you, did it?”

 

“Well, I'm just too good,” Rose said, voice full of mock pride. But she was, the Doctor thought. She was too good for her own good sometimes, always running headfirst into danger if it meant she could save somebody's life. It was part of the reason he-

 

One of the computers made a power-up sound. “The Delta Wave's started building,” the Doctor realized. “How long does it need?” He and Rose jumped to their feet and ran to the console computer.

 

He should have realized then, when Katelyn didn’t get up to join them. As it was, the Doctor didn’t realize this was all for naught until he booted up the computer, and read the results screen.

 

“Is that bad?” Rose asked when he didn’t say anything. The Doctor dropped his head, unsure what he could possibly say. “Okay, it's bad. How bad is it?”

 

 _The worst possible outcome,_ he thought. He couldn’t save them. He couldn’t save any of them. But he had to… he’d promised that at least…

 

The Doctor spun to look at Rose with the manic expression of a man who’d just made a wonderful discovery. “Rose Tyler, you're a genius!” He kissed her forehead, because he knew it would be his last chance. “We can do it. If I use the TARDIS to cross my old timeline… Yes!”

 

He ran into the TARDIS, Rose following close behind. He starting working the console, setting the coordinates for far, far away from here. “Hold that down and keep position,” he said pointing to a random button of the back of the console.

 

“What's it do?” Rose asked. The Doctor had never been more happy he’d never taught her how to fly.

 

“Cancels the buffers,” he lied. “If I'm very clever and I'm more than clever, I'm brilliant, I might just save the world. Or rip it apart.” Easy lies, all of them. Things he had said when talking about crossing time lines before.

 

“I'd go for the first one,” Rose said, well aware those were both possibilities, albeit one more real than the other.

 

“Me too,” the Doctor agreed. “Now, I've just got to go and power up the Game Station. Hold on!” He ran back out, refusing to let himself look at Rose again.

 

Katelyn was still sitting where she’d been sitting the whole time since Jack left.

 

“Don’t suppose there’s anyway I can get you back into the TARDIS?” the Doctor asked Katelyn quietly, so Rose wouldn’t hear.

 

“Not a chance,” she responded casually. She kept stripping the wires she’d been handed, as if nothing in the world were more important. The Doctor sighed. And he’d thought he’d had stubborn companions before.

 

“Then I’m not sorry for this,” he said. Katelyn turned her head.

 

“For wha-” was all she got out before the Doctor tapped her in the middle of her forehead. She passed out instantly. He picked her up and carried her into the TARDIS. The Time ship herself was fairly quiet. Just as well. He didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now.

 

“Doctor, what're you doing?” Rose asked. “What’s wrong with Katelyn?” She paused when he said nothing. “Can I take my hand off?

 

The Doctor set Katelyn down in the jumpseat. His hearts hurt that Jack wasn’t here too. But, he couldn’t protect all of them, he supposed. And at least Rose would be safe.

 

It also hurt not to answer Rose’s question, but he had to ignore her, least his hearts make a different decision than his brain.

 

Because it hurt, more than it should have, more than it would have for a proper Time Lord, to send her away. But at least she would be _safe._ He looked back at the TARDIS, his oldest friend, then pointed the sonic screwdriver at it. The engines started.

 

“It's moving!” he heard Rose shout. The TARDIS started fading. He heard Rose banging on the doors. “Doctor, let me out!” He couldn’t now, even if he had wanted to. The real time envelope had sealed. The doors would be locked until she landed.

 

_Rose was safe._

 

Once her voice had faded, the Doctor turned grimly back to the tangle of wires, and went about killing the Daleks, everyone on the Gamestation including himself, and the entirety of planet Earth.

 

<...>

 

I woke up to the sound of Rose screaming.

 

“Let me out!” she was yelling, pounding on the doors. “Doctor, what've you done?”

 

It was too late, I knew. We were in the Vortex now, hurtling away from the Gamestation and toward London. Also, I was on the jumpseat, for some reason.

 

“Rose,” I said, sitting up. She turned toward me with the look of heartbreak, betrayal, and the kind of anger that could only be pointed at a loved one. “Rose, there’s no point.”

 

Before Rose could say anything back, there was an activation sound, and a hologram appeared at the console.

 

“This is Emergency Programme One,” the Holo-Doctor said. “Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape-”

 

“No!” Rose cried, eyes wide, running toward the console.

 

“-and that's okay,” the Holo-Doctor continued, unimpeded. “Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home.”

 

“I won't let you,” Rose said plainly, moving closer to the console. There was no point. The only one of us that had gotten even close to understanding the controls was Jack, as he currently setting up fruitless defences on a space station hundreds of thousands of years away from us.

 

“And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. Typical. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do.” The Doctor paused for a second. I had never liked this part.

 

“Let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one'll even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world'll move on and the box will be buried. And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing.”

 

The Holo-Doctor turned to right, like he’d known while recording this that Rose would run to the console. “Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.” The hologram flickered a few times, then went out.

 

“You can't do this to me,” Rose said quietly. “You can't.” She started pulling random knobs, flipping random switches, turning random cranks. Nothing seemed to have any effect. “Take me back! Take me back!”

 

“Rose,” I tried again. Yes, I knew she’d be fine. I knew the Doctor wasn’t going to die, that we’d go back and save him, but that didn’t mean I had to let my friend suffer now.

 

“No!” she cried, ignoring me. The TARDIS landed softly, hummed sadly in my head. I tried to reassure her too, but how could one reassure an ancient and sort of all knowing telepathic time-space ship?

 

Rose ran out the doors, probably just to find out that she really was home, exactly as the Doctor promised. When she came running back in, I opened my mouth to say something again, but she completely ignored me in her manic dance around the console. “Come on, fly!” she demanded. The TARDIS stayed motionless. “How do you fly? Come on, help me!”

 

I walked over and out my hands on Rose’s shoulders, gently trying to guide her away from the console. There was no use in her damaging the old girl anymore than she was going to later when she ripped the console open.

 

Rose gave up after a minute, turned around, and crushed me into a hug. I let her cry into my shoulder for a while, before I started trying to get her towards the door again. “Come on, let’s… let’s just… Some fresh air would probably be good.” When Rose’s tears faded into sniffles, she let me guide her to and then out of the doors.

 

Mickey Smith was already at the doors. “I knew it!” he told us, smiling widely. “I was all the way down Clifton Parade, and I heard the engines. I thought, there's only one thing that makes a noise like that.” Rose turned toward Mickey, face still streaked with tears and looking utterly defeated. “What is it?” Rose turned to hug her oldest friend, crying into this shoulder this time. Mickey glared at me over Rose’s shoulder, as if this whole thing could somehow be my fault.

 

“It was the Doctor,” I explained. “He sent her away, and-” Rose started crying harder. Mickey just nodded.

 

I watched, leaning against the TARDIS, Mickey guide a grieving, heartbroken Rose away from the TARDIS without so much as another glance back at me. That made sense, I suppose. He didn’t know me, and he probably thought I hated the Doctor, given the ten-ish minutes he’d had to watch us interact. That’s fine; I didn’t need to grieve anyway.

 

I stepped back inside the TARDIS and climbed up on one of the coral struts. Now to wait. Now to wait for Rose to see BAD WOLF scribbled all around her. Now to wait for her to come running back in, and try to pry the console open. Now to wait for-

 

“Katelyn Laurin.”

 

I sat up so quickly, I fell off the coral. I knew that voice.

 

“Doctor!” I called jumping to my feet and spinning around. I knew, _I knew_ , he wasn’t here, but what if he was?

 

“If this is playing, then you’re the only one on the TARDIS.” I looked around the strut at the console. There was another hologram Doctor standing in front of the console. He looked so tired. “I hope… I have to believe that just means Rose has run out.

 

“I’m recording this on the night we went to Willow Brooke.” The Holo-Doctor turned and looked at the door. “You just fell asleep. I can tell something is coming, far sooner than I would have liked, and, if the message is playing, then I’m dead.”

 

I walked closer to the hologram. I got my own message? Did Jack have a message to? Why did either of us get one?

 

“I know you’re wondering why I would even record this for you, probably still thinking I hate you.” The Holo-Doctor shook his head. “I don’t. I never did. Hate’s not the right word. It-

 

“But that’s not the point,” the Doctor interrupted himself. I stepped closer to the console, because the Holo-Doctor was starting to look blurry. “I trust you to keep the timelines intact. More than I trust Rose. I know she’d just come back and try to save me. You won’t come get me, so I can tell you this.” The Doctor ran his hands down his face. The Hologram was getting progressively blurrier. What was wrong with this projection?

 

“Please, please don’t let the TARDIS die. She doesn’t deserve to be forgotten on a street corner like logic tells me she should. There are books in the Library about flying and maintaining a TARDIS. No manual, threw that into a supernova ages ago, but I think you’ll manage.” The Holo-Doctor smiled a tiny smile. “Brilliant, you are.”

 

“Doctor…” I croaked. I sniffled and went to rub my eyes, which is when I realized I was crying. Oh, so that was why the hologram was blurry.

 

“Give the old girl a few more adventures,” the Holo-Doctor said gently. “Travel. Save worlds.” He paused. “Be fantastic.”

 

The hologram flickered away, and the Doctor was gone.

 

He… why couldn’t he have said that to me in person? ‘I don’t hate you’. Well, you certainly made me feel like it, you confusing alien bastard. If he were here right now, I would slap the Last of the Time Lords.

 

Right, best not try to answer all my questions until I could actually ask them.

 

I should find Rose. Or, well, Rose would be fine. There’d be a rough patch, maybe a false start or two, but she’d get her Doctor in the end. Jack, on the other hand…

 

I ran down the hallway toward my room. I didn’t have much time before Rose came back..

 

<...>

 

“You can't spend the rest of your life thinking about the Doctor,” Mickey said. Rose knew it was true, she just didn’t want to think about that now. Not so soon. Not when there might still be a chance.

 

“But how do I forget him?” she countered.

 

“You've got to start living your own life,” Mickey said, sensibly. Rose didn’t care much for sense these days. “You know, a proper life, like the kind he's never had. The sort of life that you could have with me.” Mickey sat down on the bench Rose had found but she wasn’t paying attention to him anymore.

 

There were letters, painted on the tarmac of the play area she’d run to. B-A-D. A space. W-O-L-F.

 

_Bad Wolf_

 

Rose shot to her feet and walked over, as if the letters might change if she got close enough. She looked up at the walls that surrounded the tarmac. BAD WOLF was painted there too.

 

“Over here,” Rose said, hardly believing her eyes. “It's over here as well!” She ran over, hardly daring to let the hope back into her heart.

 

“That's been there for years,” Mickey dismissed behind her. “It's just a phrase. It's just words.” Oh, he could be so thick sometimes. Couldn’t he see?

 

“I thought it was a warning,” Rose said to now one in particular, because Mickey was still several feet behind her. “Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe it's a message. The same words written down now and two hundred thousand years in the future. It's a link between me and the Doctor. Bad Wolf here-” She pointed to the wall. “Bad Wolf there.”

 

“But if it's a message, what's it saying?” Mickey asked, reasonably. Rose started running back toward the TARDIS before she answered.

 

“It's telling me I can get back!” she shouted, certain beyond reason that she was right. “The least I can do is help him escape!”

 

<...>

 

I had just finished writing my note to Jack, when the lock clicked, the doors burst open, and Rose came running back in. I folded the note quickly and shoved it into my pocket.

 

“All the TARDIS needs to do is make a return trip,” Rose was explaining to Mickey. “Just reverse.”

 

“Think there’s a quick recall switch or something?” I asked. Rose jumped, clearly having forgotten that I was still in the TARDIS. That was fair, she was grieving and single-minded in her need to get back to the Doctor.

 

Her eyes went wide. “You think there’s one of those?” I opened my mouth and closed it again several times.

 

“Um… I… uh…”

 

“Even if there was, do you know which one?” Mickey said, gesturing to the console. Rose looked around the console room, desperate.

 

 _C’mon, Rose,_ I thought to myself. In her looking around the console room, she saw me.

 

“Oh!” she said. “The Doctor always said the TARDIS was telepathic. This thing is alive. It can listen!”

 

“It's not listening now, is it?” Mickey countered.

 

“Well, not to us,” Rose said. “But…” She looked over to me hopefully. Oh. That was… No, no. Rose had to become the Bad Wolf.

 

“I-I can try,” I said. “But she doesn’t always listen. It’s not really like holding a conversation. You kinda just… shout into the void and hope the void shouts back,” I sort of lied. The TARDIS buzzed amusement in my head. Rose made a frustrated sound.

 

“We need to get inside it,” she decided. “Last time we saw you, with the Slitheen, this middle bit opened, and there was this light, and the Doctor said it was the heart of the TARDIS. If we can open it, one of us can make contact. It’ll have to listen then.

 

“Maybe if you stop calling her ‘it’, then yeah,” I mumbled.

 

“Rose,” Mickey started gently.

 

“Mmm?” Rose responded absently.

 

“If you go back, you're going to die. You’ll both die,” he said to me.

 

“That's a risk I've got to take,” Rose said. She shook her head and looked at Mickey. “Because there's nothing left for me here.”

 

“Nothing?” Mickey sounded so hurt. Neither of them were very good at this whole ‘relationship’ business, were they? Had they even broken up yet?

 

“No,” Rose said easily. Mickey took a moment to let that sink in

 

“Okay,” he finally said. “If that's what you think, let's get this thing open.”

 

<...>

 

Our first attempt at breaking the console open involved hitching a chain to both Mickey’s car and to a panel in the console. While Mickey was driving, trying to pull the console open, Rose and I were standing inside the TARDIS, just in case this plan actually worked.

 

The chain pulled taunt, but nothing else happened. “Faster!” Rose shouted out at Mickey. Mickey’s car couldn’t do much but make the whole area smell of burning rubber, however. “It's not moving!”

 

Eventually, Mickey’s care gave out. The chain went loose again. Rose kicked the console in frustration and collapsed back onto the jumpseat.

 

“Hey,” I encouraged. “We can get this.”

 

“I know!” Rose said. “I’m just-” She stood up and kicked the console again.

 

“I could go make some tea,” I offered.

 

“Sure. Fine,” Rose said. I walked down the hallway, staying in earshot instead of going to the galley. Jackie came in as soon as I was gone.

 

“It was never going to work, sweetheart,” I heard her say to Rose. “And the Doctor knew that. He just wanted you to be safe.”

 

“I can't give up,” Rose said plainly.

 

“Lock the door,” Jackie suggested. “Walk away.”

 

“Dad wouldn't give up,” Rose whispered.

 

“Well, he's not here, is he?” Jackie paused. “And even if he was, he'd say the same.”

 

“No, he wouldn't,” Rose countered. “He'd tell me to try anything. If I could save the Doctor's life, try anything.”

 

“Well, we're never going to know.”

 

“Well, I know because I met him,” Rose revealed. “I met Dad.”

 

“Don't be ridiculous,” Jack whispered, so quiet I barely heard her from the hallway.

 

“The Doctor took me back in time,” Rose said. “And I met Dad.”

 

“Don't say that.”

 

“Remember when Dad died?” Rose sounded close to tears. Maybe I really should make tea, or she’d be dehydrated. “There was someone with him. A girl, a blonde girl. She held his hand. You saw her from a distance, Mum. You saw her! Think about it. That was me. You saw me!”

 

“Stop it.” Jackie did not sound close to tears. She did sound close to believing her daughter, though.

 

“That's how good the Doctor is”

 

“Stop it!” Jackie shouted. “Just stop it!” I heard footsteps on the grating, and I knew Jackie had run out.

 

I made my way to the galley to make that tea.

 

<...>

 

Rose and Mickey were outside when I finally came out with the tea. I handed Rose her mug. She mumbled a ‘thank you’, but didn’t drink any.

 

“There's got to be something else we can do,” Mickey said.

 

“Mum was right,” Rose said. “Maybe we should just lock the door and walk away.”

 

“I'm not having that,” Mickey dismissed. “I'm not having you just, just give up now. No way. We just need something stronger than my car. “

 

“We’re going to need a bigger boat?” I offered. Mickey gave me a weird look. “Oh, come on, I know _Jaws_ came out already.” Mickey was looking over my shoulder now. I smiled. “That’ll do.”

 

“Something like that,” Mickey agreed. A big yellow tow truck came around the corner and stopped right  by the TARDIS. Jackie Tyler climbed out.

 

“Right, you've only got this until six o'clock, so get on with it,” she said. I took Rose’s mug from her, least she drop it, and retreated back into the TARDIS.

 

“Mum, where the hell did you get that from?” I heard Rose ask.

 

“Rodrigo. He owes me a favour,” Jackie answered. “Never mind why, but you were right about your dad, sweetheart. He was full of mad ideas, and it's exactly what he would've done. Now, get on with it before I change my mind.”

 

It took Mickey and Rose a hot minute to get the chain hooked up the truck, then it was take two. The chain pulled taunt; the console shook a little.

 

Rose paused in her nail biting to shout “keep going!” out the open doors. Jackie relayed that order to Mickey. The chain pulled tighter. “Faster!” The chain pulled tighter still. “Keep going!”

 

Just when it looked like the chain was going to snap, the console burst open. Rose looked inside. I snapped my own eyes closed on instinct. I heard Mickey call Rose’s name, but the TARDIS doors slammed shut on him. I heard the groan of the time rotor, and that wheezing sound only the TARDIS could make.

 

I wasn’t really sure how long it was before I felt a hand on my cheek. Confused, I opened my eyes and came face to face with the Bad Wolf.

 

It was terrifying, staring eye to eye with that much power. But at the same time, this was _Rose Tyler_ one of the most gentle beings to ever exist, so I wasn’t really afraid.

 

“H-hi,” I stuttered.

 

“Oh, my friend,” She - It? - She said. “You have so many wonderful ideas in your head.”

 

“Cool,” I breathed. The Bad Wolf smiled, in a gentle, distinctly non-Rose way.

 

“Some of them will work,” She told me. “You just need to keep trying.”

 

“O-Ok.”

 

The TARDIS landed. The doors swung open. The Bad Wolf stepped out silhouetted in the golden light still streaming from the console. Energy tendrils snaked outwards, into the room.

 

I stepped out after her, afraid to take more than a few steps out of the TARDIS. There were Daleks here, after all.

 

The Doctor took a step backward and fell over. “What've you done?” he demanded.

 

“I looked into the TARDIS,” the Bad Wolf said calmly. “And the TARDIS looked into me.”

 

“You looked into the Time Vortex,” the Doctor corrected, voice shaking. “Rose, no one's meant to see that.” _Isn’t that a Time Lord rite of passage?_ I didn’t say.

 

“This is the Abomination!” the Dalek Emperor declared from the viewscreen across the room.

 

“Exterminate!” crowed one brave Dalek, shooting at the Bad Wold. She held up her hand, eyes flashing, and the beam stopped then flew back down the barrel of that Dalek’s gun.

 

“I am the Bad Wolf,” she said to the Doctor. He looked so afraid, but not of Rose. For her. “I create myself. I take the words-” The Bad Wolf raised her hand again. “I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.”

 

“Rose, you've got to stop this. You've got to stop this now,” the Doctor begged. “You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're going to burn.”

 

The Bad Wolf looked down, and the glow faded from Her eyes. “I want you safe.” The Doctor looked at her like he could barely comprehend that anyone could want that for him. “My Doctor. Protected from the false god.”

 

“You cannot hurt me,” the Emperor said. “I am immortal.”

 

“You are tiny,” the Bad Wolf corrected. “I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.” She raised her hand, and the Dalek that tried to shoot her disintegrated gently. “Everything must come to dust. All things.” The Bad Wolf raised her other hand. The rest of the Daleks turned to dust. “Everything dies. The Time War ends.”

 

“I will not die. I cannot die!” the Emperor insisted. It also turned to dust.

 

“Rose, you've done it. Now stop. Just let go,” the Doctor kept begging. I opened my mouth to say something similar, then snapped it shut. I wanted what happened next.

 

“How can I let go of this?” the Bad Wolf asked the air. “I bring life.”

 

I felt when Jack breathed again.

 

“But this is wrong!” the Doctor said. “You can't control life and death.”

 

“But I can,” the Bad Wolf said. “The sun and the moon, the day and night.” The Doctor was starting to look afraid _of_ the Bad Wolf. “But why do they hurt?”

 

“The power's going to kill you and it's my fault.” The Doctor looked away, like there was nothing he could do.

 

“I can see everything,” the Bad Wolf said. The Doctor looked back up. “All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.”

 

Gold blazed across my vision. Suddenly, the room was filled with thousands of bands of gold, streaming on all direction.

 

They were timelines, I realized.

 

The scream I wanted to let out got stuck in my throat. I slammed the heels of my hands into my eyes. _Go away. Go away. Go away._

 

“That's what I see,” I heard the Doctor say. “All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?”

 

_Yes. Yes. Go away. Go away._

 

“My head-” the Bad Wolf said quietly.

 

_GO AWAY._

 

The timelines disappeared. I opened my eyes again.

 

“Come here,” the Doctor said to the Bad Wolf. He was standing now.

 

“-It's killing me,” She finished.

 

“I think you need a Doctor,” he said.

 

I turned away and let them have their kiss. It felt wrong to watch it, now that it was real.

 

Instead, I walked over to the computers and picked up a heavy piece of discarded metal. I dug the note out of my pocket, the note I’d written for Jack, and laid it down on the ground, pinning it down with the heavy piece of metal. I turned back to the TARDIS, praying Jack would find it. I needed him to find it.

 

Rose had fainted into the Doctor's arms. When I turned back around to them, the last of the energy that made Rose Tyler the Bad Wolf was back into the TARDIS. Without speaking, the Doctor and I both walked into the TARDIS and closed the doors behind us.

 

I tried to pretend I was strong, but I’d only stayed standing through sheer force of will. Back on the TARDIS, safe but without Jack, I gave up.

 

I collapsed onto the grating, just inside the door and broke down. I heard the groan of the dematerialization sequence and felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up from the wet patches I’d sobbed into my jeans. The Doctor was kneeling in front of me, expression unreadable. I had a sudden, inexplicable need to apologize.

 

“I’m sorry,” I said around sobs. “I tried to stop it, but-” My voice got stuck in my throat. “But then you came to get me, and - and - and I knew what would happen, and I’m sorry that I let Rose…” I had been crying so hard I started to hiccup. “But the only life I sacrificed was yours. I-I knew you’d-” I chuckled with absolutely no joy in the sound. The Doctor didn’t looked away from me, just glanced over to where Rose was unconscious on the floor.

 

“This might be the only time I ever ask you this, but-” He paused to take a deep breath. I could already see the regeneration energy glowing through his veins. “Please, I need to know. The next Doctor does he… does he still…” He couldn’t seem to get the words out. I was tempted to mention he’d asked me a future question a few hours ago, and that it had also pertained to Rose, but I wasn’t that cruel.

 

“Oh, Doctor,” I whispered, because that was the loudest my throat would let me speak. “You think you love her now? You should see the next guy.” I could _feel_ the tension leave his body.

 

And that was when Rose woke up.

 

“What happened?” she said groggily. The smile the Doctor had been wearing faded from his face.

 

“Don't you remember?” the Doctor asked. He looked over to me. I shook my head.

 

“It's like there was this singing,” Roe said, slowly sitting up and looking around. I sniffled from my spot by the door. She didn’t seem to notice.

 

“That's right,” the Doctor said lightly. “I sang a song and the Daleks ran away.”

 

“I was at home,” Rose said, ignoring the Doctor’s antics. “No, I wasn't, I was in the TARDIS, and there was this light. I can't remember anything else.” Rose bit her lip in the way she did when she was trying to think.

 

The Doctor looked at his hand. Even from my spot by the door, I could see the regeneration energy.

 

“Rose Tyler,” the Doctor said fondly. “I was going to take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place. They've got dogs with no noses.” The Doctor stopped to wheeze out a laugh. Rose was smiling a full smile now, very nearly laughing along. “Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny.”

 

“Then, why can't we go?”  Rose asked.

 

“Maybe you will,” the Doctor answered easily. “And maybe I will.” He looked over to me, still curled in a ball in front of the doors. “Maybe we all will. But not like this.”

 

“You're not making sense,” Rose said, standing.

 

“I might never make sense again,” the Doctor admitted. “I might have two heads, or no head.” He paused for another laugh. Rose chuckled nervously. I sniffled, trying to smile. “Imagine me with no head. And don't say that's an improvement. But it's a bit dodgy, this process.’ Rose’s smile disappeared. “You never know what you're going to end up with.”

 

The Doctor suddenly doubled over in pain.

 

“Doctor!” Rose cried. Running over. He threw out his arms.

 

“Stay away!” he shouted. Rose started back a few steps. The Doctor’s face was screwed up in pain.

 

“Doctor, tell me what's going on,” she demanded.

 

“I absorbed all the energy of the Time Vortex, and no one's meant to do that.” The Doctor only managed the words through great effort. “Every cell in my body's dying.”

 

“Can't you do something?” Rose nearly begged.

 

“Yeah, I'm doing it now,” he dismissed. “Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except…it means I'm going to change, and I'm not going to see you again. Not like this.” The Doctor gestured to his face. “Not with this daft old face. And before I go-”

 

“Don't say that,” Rose begged.

 

“Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Katelyn?” I shot to my feet as way of saying ‘yes?’ “So were you,” was all he could manage. It was so much more than enough. “And do you know what? So was I.”

 

Golden light, a different, more orange shade than the TARDIS’s light, burst out of the Doctor's body, streaming from his hands and face. Rose started back and clung to a strut. It was so hard to see.

 

Everything changes so quickly and then the Tenth Doctor was standing where the Ninth had just been. He was beaming, one of the few regenerations happy to come out on the other side.

 

“Hello,” the Tenth Doctor said cheerfully. “Okay. Ooo, new teeth.” He ran his new tongue over his new teeth. “That's weird.” _Do the teeth not always change?_ I very nearly asked. “So, where was I? Oh, that's right.” He smiled stupidly over at Rose. “Barcelona.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! Oh, boy. It’s done! Listen, this story was truly a labor of love for me, and I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
> 
> Don’t worry! This isn’t the end. We’ll have our fun with Ten as well. Just not quite yet. I’m gonna take a few weeks off from writing to get a backlog all worked up, so that hopefully I won't leave you stranded without a chapter for nearly two month again.
> 
> Anyway, Bye! See you again soon, in the next part of The Eternal Companion)


End file.
